I see a girl in my mirror
Her eyes are so sad
She’s weeping tears of sorrow
I try to tell her it’s not that bad1
I see a girl in my mirror
Her heart has been broken
She’s bleeding from within
I try to fix her heart with words softly spoken2
I see a girl in my mirror
Her dreams have been shattered
She’s falling into darkness
I try to help her dreams to be gathered3
I see a girl in my mirror
Her love has been stolen
She’s thinking of him in pain
I try to tell her he will be forgotten4
I see a girl in my mirror
Her smile was swept away
She’s crying at all times
I try to tell her she will be okay5
I see a girl in my mirror
Her body is full of strain
She’s fighting for the better
I try to aid her fight her pains6
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Life by Taylor Renee.
100 points, ended September 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poets Challenge (prewrites aloud) by Forgotten Anomaly.
300 points, ended November 1, 2007, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I can relate as most can. This is sad, dark, it seams to sum up life quite well.
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Wow!
I loved this story... are you the girl in the mirror???
I really enjoyed reading this... and I think, even though thi was a poem, you desicribed the charcters really well!
Good luck, and well done!
~Ashley~ xxx -
I think we all need to feel sadness and pain to wonder at how joy makes us feel. I like how you captured the pain and described the emotion.
I also liked how you started each line "I see a girl in the mirror" - sort of like a self reflection.
It's good and I hope you win in your contest. -
This work really moved me, especially as it is inspired by real feelings - thank you for sharing with us.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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This was so sad!
It was an absolutely beautiful poem. Written eonderfully, I really loved it!
It was sad. But beautiful.
I agree with Aaez ^.^
Very great work!
Keep it up! Thanks so much for entering, and good luck!
xxoo
Tay
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That's so sad! I could practically feel all that pain! Are you the girl in the mirror?
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I figured in the end you'd say something like "I am the girl in my mirror." I really enjoyed reading this. I can totally relate. I've seen the same. And everything turns out okay in the end
x Julez -
yeah this is a great poem. really filled with emotion and deepness. well done!
i thought it was well written and i cant find any errors... hehe w00t ^^
anywho it made me think about heartbreak and sadness and how much it sucks... you have written about it so well. congrats! -
I'm utterly stunned that you haven't gotten many comments. Even though this is quite new, it was amazingly written and full of flow. The way you wrote it almost made me weep. As if I could feel the girl in the mirrors emotions. We all cast a reflection and this showed me how much it matters. I think it does. Good job, really, I loved reading your poem!
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awww...that was so adorable!! i loved it VICtoria!! totally real!! this isnt just good! its gReat! great! great!! u hear me!? great!!!!
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Yeah
I hear you! No need to shout lol. Thanks a lot.
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