Drugs

Confessions of a drugged up mind. That was the catchy title I came up with for this section. When a white kid gets stoned and decides to listen to Gangster rap the rest of the night, but really truly understands what the rappers are talking about, does that make him a poser or bad person? I say no. You know that thing your leg does when you’re nervous or have a lot of energy and your leg is just incapable to stop bouncing up and down. If its possible to lose control of one part of the body, whose to say we can’t lose total control? I think this is what starbucks coffee does. If you let yourself get on too much of a caffeine high it probably means the end of the world. I cleaned my bowl today. The real trick is finding a paper clip to help open the hole. Previously I nearly blew a blood vessel trying to suck through the clogged up pipe. When I don’t shower my balls take on a very weird smell. I wouldn’t be quick to call this smell disgusting or punget, but more as a sign that there is trouble ahead. I never see anyone all day and yet I am completely obsessed with my hair and how it looks. Hair is funny because it’s the one part of your face that you can dramatically change. If you go from brunette to blond or parted to straight it doesn’t make a huge difference in how attractive you are. If people could change their bone complexion or eye tilt than that’d be something. This is why we are all obsessed with our hair. It’s the only thing remotely near the most looked at parts of our body that we can change. And now for a deep mind blowing thought in a explosive mind blowing angle. If there is such a thing as a soul and there are such things as ghosts after death is there really a difference between being a ghost and alive. What if I’m a ghost right now and when I die I’ll actually flip sides and be “alive” for forty some odd years and then flip back to this reality. That would mean that death is an illusion, purely a swing gate. I’ve decided to make the catchy title for this section confession of a drugged up ghost. Both sides of ghosts and humans probably haunt each other. Just like that really shitty Nicole Kidman movie. That movie was her getting over Tom movie. Those are always funny to watch. It’s not even a movie. It’s just Nicole Kidman standing in front of a camera and desperately begging people to still realize she was an actress and not just Tom Cruises wife, even though she was more of the ladder than the former. That’s what I love about celebrities. The most studied people in the world are celebrities and yet they are absolutely nothing like average people in a psychological sense. Average people are pissed off they aren’t celebrities which is genuine, while celebrities are busy trying to act average which is misleading. Also there is no in between these two categories. For example I am not a celebrity therefore I am average and pissed off I’m not a celebrity. Fact: if you scratch at your head long enough eventually you will get to the skull. When I play golf I get very analytical. I think about my swing as a mechanic would think about fixing a car. Left shoulder goes here, fly hips out now, explode through with wrists. After a swing I tinker by speeding up one part or slowing another or moving a foot two inches in. The ironic part is I’ve been tinkering for twenty years and haven’t gotten any better, in fact I may have digressed in the last few years. Anything that has to do with aging upsets me very much. And yet I despise anyone with a peter pan complex and act very adult. I think I’m one of those people who wants everyone to conform to him and will die trying to make that happen. When someone actually does conform to my ideologies though, I view them as very boring and easy to manipulate…my bitch, if you will. This means I can never actually like anyone. Either I hate them because they won’t conform to my ways or think they’re stupid for not standing up for themselves. Going through life never liking anyone could get a little rocky. Especially with all of those high school friends who still call me.