I opened up my heart,
had it spit on.
It felt like
I'm nothing more
than a bad taste
that's left lingering.
When I lifted my eyes
to meet yours,
insecurity flowed.
The day you left
my heart shattered
for the last time.
I closed it off,
kicked you out,
finally became free.
A contest entry
- Poems! by Baba Jojo.
115 points, ended August 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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hm....good job on this...some good word usage, though a lil emo lines.....
overall, it was good... -
In the beginning, this was really sad and sypathetic... in the end, the last line, is totally confident boosting... Good JOb! |


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Beautiful poem. The strength of someone to break free from the strings a lover has tied around them is incredible. Especially if they are being caused pain; heartbreak after heartbreak. Sometimes you need to soar alone and catch sight of some landscape that you never saw before. Other times you need a companion to help you fly but perhaps that isn't true. Hmmm. My favorite part was:
"The day you left
my heart shattered
for the last time.
I closed it off,
kicked you out,
finally became free."
Great poem. Really great! I was inspired.



