Is she a MOM??

Why dose she say that she loves me?she dosent, or she would be here trying to see us, to get off the drugs and alcohal. She wouldent have given into timtation in Great Bend like she did. SHe could have told us that she left insted of having out aunt tell us, she could have even usd Toni's cell, its not right for a mom thatloves her children so much to just slowly but surly dissapere if not cuz of drugs and alcohal, to totaly leave the state. mom wrote nonstop when she was in Great Bend but after she left there, she wrote Tasha and grandpa once and aperently she has been clean for I think it said 90 days. probibly by the time she cam take us back Ill be old enough to live on my one and even if she dosnt get "better" befor im 18 I dont want to move back in with her cuz Im afraid ill be stuck in the same situation I was in when I was living with her. being placed as the "babysitter" agian and to be doing all the house because she wants to lay around in bed or sit around and dis my dadbuz he didnt have a home, job, or a life but realy she was just as bad she didnt have a job to pay for the house and her life revolved around drugs and alcohal I love and miss her but i bet that she dont love or miss me but i no that she loves and misses the girls. No I dont like to be living away from my sisters or being in foster care but Ill live I dont want to be stuck with all the pain that I coudnt show or that I thought was natural for the oldest child to have.