Untitled Story

RJ Cole’s University 1

Tuesday, September 21st 1989
2

It was a dark stormy night; all five of us were sitting in our dorm room bored. Suddenly the lights went out. 3

“Must be a short circuit,” Ken sighed and shrugged “Now, what do we do?” he said while flipping pages of his diary. Ken the eldest in our group, was born on 3rd of October 1968.” 4

*** 5

“Where was Ken from?” 6

*** 7

“Lexington, Kentucky. He was dark haired, green intelligent eyed guy with a charming smile; Ken was the brains of our group, always ahead in studies as well in sports; he loved writing lyrics, playing piano and he was a crazy dancer. Fitness was his obsession, he used to run for hours and we used to call him “Speed” for that. 8

“I wonder what Emma is doing,” added Brian to Ken’s sentence while stretching his arms. Brian, Frick as we used to call him; I can’t remember why we started calling him that but he’s been called that since 3rd grade, was a 5’7” tall blonde slightly chubby guy with wide face and extremely small eyes was born on 20th of February 1971 in Jamestown, New York. Brian was a total movie buff and a dramatic guy. He was crazy about his two pets, a cat named Toto and a Chihuahua named Coolio, and he got into lots of trouble for trying to sneak them into the dorm rooms, breaking the “NO PETS ALLOWED” rule, and he hated heights. 9

“Hm... wonder what Emma is doing,” we all said teasingly in one tone. Emma was a tall blonde, hazel eyed girlfriend of Brian. They have been together since high school; she was a very good friend of mine as well. 10

*** 11

Sounds like all of you were really bored. 12

*** 13

Yes, we were bored. That day all of us got into trouble for playing a prank on the dorm sweeper and yes, it was one of my brilliant ideas and that is why I was known as “Cha-prankster,” the master of creating chaos and playing pranks. Boredom once again inspired me and got an idea for a perfect prank, “Hey guys! How about we go and scare Emma and her friends?” I exclaimed in an excited tone. 14

“Are you friggin’ nuts?” Tom shouted. 15

*** 16

Ah... Mr. Thomas Sadew, I met him outside, was he also with you in the university? 17

*** 18

Yes, Tom is also one of us. He looked the same he does now, well, except he was lot younger and had hair on his head but he was as skinny as he is now. Anyway, as I was saying Tom shouted, “Are you friggin’ nuts?” 19

“You know what happened last time?” added Scott, “I don’t think I want to be a part of this. We’ll get caught again. Plus, this punishment is enough for me. I had a date tonight with that girl I told you about.” He said hotly. 20

“Well, that’s because Tom forgot the plan last time.” I said while rolling my eyes away from him. “Man! Why do you have to be such a chicken, it’s going to perfect this time. It’s just going to be a little scare, not like we are going to kidnap them or something.” 21

*** 22

So, you didn’t kidnap her? 23

*** 24

NO! I never kidnapped anyone. I am not here to share my story with pleasure you are forcing me to tell you what happened. NOW! It’s up to you to listen to my story or let me go home! I have told you before I never kidnapped her. 25

*** 26

Calm down Terrance. It just came out of curiosity, now please continue. 27

*** 28

Good! 29

“Terr, I don’t want to hear your perfect plan, man,” said Ken coolly. 30

“Ken... come on... you can’t just turn away from me like that, hear it out, I can bet you will like it,” I said while looking at him with excitement in my eyes. I don’t think he actually saw that excitement in my eyes, it was quiet dark. 31

“Terry, we love y...” Brain was interrupted by the knock on the door. 32

“EMMA!” I shouted, it was Emma with someone else on the door holding a flashlight in her hand. 33

*** 34

Why did you shout her name? 35

*** 36

Gr... I was planning to play a prank on her. Remember? Anyway, I opened the door and it was Emma with some other girl, she looked like she was new, fair complexion, dark eyes and hair, angelic smile, I fell in love with her. 37

*** 38

Really? Who is this girl you are talking about? 39

*** 40

Ha! Knew you were going to buy it. Hell, I didn’t know how she looked like! It was too dark. Anyway, that was not my first impression of her. Though I started to like her, but not in the beginning. 41

“Hey Terry! Didn’t think you’ll be so happy to see me,” said Emma. 42

Who’s happy to see you I thought to myself while giving her a fake smile. 43

“Leah, this is Terry. One of my best friends, we went to High School together.” She introduced me and others to Leah while stepping inside the room. 44

“Ahem...” 45

“Oh! And Terry and guys this is Leah, she is new here. She’s a sweet heart,” I saw Leah blush while Emma introduced her to us, “I thought I should introduce her to you guys.” She finished up her sentence and screamed, “Terry! Terry!” 46

“What? Huh?” 47

“What are you thinking? You are so lost in your thoughts.” She asked curiously, just the question I always loved coming out of a woman’s mouth. 48

“Nothing, don’t try to get inside my head. You know I hate it. I am not thinking about anything. Nothing at all.” I said heatedly. 49

*** 50

What was going through your head Mr. McGeven. 51

*** 52

Well, I didn’t quiet liked Leah at first. She was too shy and too quiet. I never thought she will ever fit in with us. 53

TO BE CONTINUED....54

Author notes

I still have to add lots to it. I am adding part to it as I go along.

For Ephemeral's short story class. Yeah, I still suck writing at stories. lol!

OH! suggestions are welcome but please don't be tacky. I would appreciate if your criticism and suggestions are clean Thanks.

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • bewareofcarrots
    August 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey There,

    I enjoyed this.. I'm confused, but I think I'm supposed to be. I'm sure it will make much more sense once you get more posted. Right now it's seeming kind of un-realistic; I can't exactly picture what's going on in my head. Maybe that's the way you intended it to be, maybe not. I'm not sure.. but just thought I'd toss that out for you. Good start though.. I'll be back to check for more soon =)


    Becca

  • Godwin
    August 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I click on this,read to the end but can't get the gist.Writing a story is all about passing a message.I've read your poems and they pass messages and I know you still intend to do so with your stories.And don't forget these important ingredients:you have to narrate your story,describe the scenes and characters and give good dialogues to your readers.Don't mean to be hard but that is just the reality.Good luck.

  • Morgana
    August 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey I liked this a lot! The humour is good, and I liked how you're really telling a story, not just writing one. Kind of like a story within a story. It doesn't suck, but it can be improved...more descriptions, maybe? It really appealed to me...as for the beginning...well if you've ever read "A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeline Lengle you'll know what I mean. Change it a bit.

    -morgana

  • star-laced
    August 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This doesn't suck...I like the way you separate it into pieces with the little stars.
    I think it will be good as part of the continuation. Thanks for sharing this with everyone.
    ~ L


  • August 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Not bad; really, but I feel that it could have been written better; especially by eliminating the cliche beginning. Other than some minor improvements, it's not bad at all. Still, yeah, I think that it could be improved upon by you reworking it a little bit. But, anyway, that is just my opinion, so take it with either a grain of salt or the weight of the world.

  • Sara Bellem
    August 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Take Care Sis

    No you don't! I like the way you have created this story piece here! Very nicely done, I can't wait to read the rest that you add on to this story, it is very interesting! Good Work Sis Sorry I haven't came by & read your writes, life has been hectic, but as I can see on your author page I can tell you can relate to a busy life Hope all is well & that I read more soon Take Care ---Sara

1 - 6 of 6