You came to the door in a suit an old man may have died in. It was 4am and the sky lied with false dawn. You had flowers in your hand and in your hair. You took my hand and kissed it.
You said
"You make me the happiest man in the world Boris" even though that was not my name. I smiled, the love in your words shot out both my knees caps and it was hard to stand, but you held me.
We went walking and the rest of world was sucked away by God's cleaner. It was just us in a brightly lit void, where waves lapped at the feet of the city and stock rose up or fell down in green and red hysteria.
You kissed me against a wall and my wings got crumpled, but I didn't care.
I took your hand, and we danced. We were happy rabbits with techno fingers in the field of two past witching hour, moving to the music I could hear, but you couldn't. Not that you minded, my music never was to your taste, you preferred muesli.
Your lips moved under my shirt and I bit your fingers. I thought we should cool things down. I brought you vanilla ice-cream at winter in midnight. Milk in the black coffee not day. You licked your ice-cream like you were a butterfly licking a flower. I knew which flower you licked.
In a graveyard you found it, lying so sweetly on one grass covered mound, at nine hidden from light and prying eyes.
And later (or was it earlier) we laughed as our friend tried to shock us with tales of what his Goth friends had done on graves. He thought we laughed cause it was weird, but we laughed cause we were Goth, though you wore flowery pinnies and I blew bubbles in the sunshine.
Through it all you let me sprinkle my glitter on you and your eyes whispered endearments via my thoughts till I thought you had drilled your way into my head and made a home, shelter from first dark. Dark I never realized till I knew.
Families were killed cause of their colour and we held each other, blue and green tears stained your mattress when too many came that you couldn't kiss them away. I didn't blame you; your lips couldn't always make the world disappear.
You baked me vegan chilli chocolate cake, I brought you a piece on a plate in class. You said it looked like good A horizon soil and the tutor agreed. Outside someone shot the sun and it bleed into the bay as it slowly died for another day.
That afternoon we watched ants worry about returns and penguins driving chimneys about, not realizing they made the magnifying glass burn their colleagues, one after another, nor that they melted the habitat of the researchers at scot base.
Life was good when we played in my fort, blankets were our golden leaf wall paper and chests full of jewels were our cushions. We were children pretending to be adults lying exposed to the gentle fingers of my friend the midday sun, who joined us as we giggled under the covers.
In the dawn he left us to be reborn, and I watched you dream. I tried not to touch you. But it was too hard, so I did. I kissed your hand and you chased me to the gate holding my bum cause my hands were full. You robbed me of all my kisses as I walked home at the beginning of my reverse day.
Author notes
Inspired by Teal's style and many different times with a pretty boy.
Option 10
A contest entry
- Can You Feel The Love? by Frozen Angel.
225 points, ended August 31, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I have to say, out of the few people that chose option 10 in this contest, you are probably the best I read so far. You put in a little more description than most people did for this option. For this, I say good job and good luck.
*Frozen Angel* -
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Thanks, when I originally wrote this I wanted it to be a descriptive piece, the love was just something to write about.
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Grammatical errors:
'You said'
Needs to be 'You said,'
Nothing else, really.
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Very emotional, and I like it very much. Grammar is a small issue, because without it perhaps the story isn't as good as it could be. You know? Try to work on that, and good work. I really enjoyed it a lot. Seems like a very comforting story to read.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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Could give me just one or two pointers on grammar? It really is a weakness of mine, can you recognise my most common grammatical mistake for me please please please?
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slendidiy doo
You robbed me of all my kisses as I walked home at the beginning of my reverse day.
I LOVE IT WOOT^^
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"...the love in your words shot out both my knees caps and it was hard to stand, but you held me." < God, I love that image. A bullet through your balance and you're like, 'Oh, hold me!'
"You licked your ice-cream like you were a butterfly licking a flower. I knew which flower you licked." < You're clever and you don't care, teeheehee.
What are pinnies?
"Outside someone shot the sun and it bleed into the bay as it slowly died for another day." < I actually believe that happened, the shooting. I heard it.
What IS a reverse day? I'm glad you let your boy times shine. He's yours, right? Because I wouldn't shine my past boys around... No, no, no.
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A pinnie is a pinifore, it is like a pretty aprion, him and his flatmates all have rediculously frilly ones that they like to wear while cooking. He is my boy of the moment, and in this case a reverse day is like a whole series of events that feel like they go together mixed with the fact he can twist my world upside down. Thanks for your comment.
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