Roxplkadtsox• Show stories

Name:Micah
Sexrose*female
Hair:very wavy and curly unless i straighten or brush it, and dark, dark brown with red strands
Eyes:three different shades of brown(starting from the top,med. brown, then light brown, then around the pupils, dark, dark brown) and changes to brown with green when I'm angry, confuzzled, sad, or , God forbid, in love.
Glasses:Unfortunately yes and they are pretty purple.
Height:I dunno
Weight:I dunno that,either

NOW FOR THE FAVORITE JUNK!!!

Motto Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Movie:Moulin Rouge or 10 Things I Hate About You
T.V. Show: 10 Things I Hate About You or Ouran High School Host Club
Word:Skadoosh
Song:Second Chance by Shinedown
Fav thing to say:Your stupidity astounds me.
Band:Either Linkin Park or Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Composer(s):Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, and last, but not least, Andrew Lloyd Webber(thought I was gonna say someone dead, didn't cha?)
BookDaddy's Little Girl By Mary Higgins Clark
Writer:Mary Higgins Clark
Poet:Emily Dickinson
Poem:Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe
Artist:Vincent Van Gogh
Painting:Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh
Grade:5th grade,when I was 10
Color(s):Green and Dark Blue
Sport(s):Soccer,Tennis,&Lacrosse('cause you get to hit people with sticks!)
Quotes:You asked what was wrong and i said nothing...But then i turned around and whispered...EVERYTHING
I'm trying not to love you,I'm trying not to care,
I'm trying not to live my life wishing you were here.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are or what your doing,
Sorry i can't help myself i fell in love with you.
I'm crying inside and no one knows it but me
It's quite ironic that in life,The person that brings out The best in you is actually your weakness?
Depression...a fancy word for dying inside!
Just because my eyes aren't crying for you doesn't mean my heart isn't screaming.


NOW TO GET PERSONAL

Sexiest Person Alive?:ME!!!, no actually, I think Johnny Depp is pretty sexxy...shush, don't tell anyone!!
Crush?:Yes I have one, but I'm not telling!
Boyfriend?:Nope!I'm single and proud!
Best Friends?:Are ASHUM!!! They are(in this order)Kat, my mom, Nikkie, Logan, Katie(cousin), Erica, Jordan(girl), and Caylon.
Religion?:Catholic, VERY Catholic(meaning Imma kick yo ass if you make fun of Him)Oh yeah, and I don't care about if you're Muslim, Jewish, Atheist(and I have several friends that grew up in Christian households and are Atheist, which pisses my Nana off), Shinto, I don't care. If you're my friend, then religion can't change that.
Love?:IN love with someone? I really don't believe in it.It's never been experienced. But, I love my family and friends as I should.
Hate?:I hate plenty of people so yeah,I believe in it.
Family?:Mom,Dad,Step-Dad(the one I call Daddy),Emily,Madison,Benjamin(I'm the oldest kid & I don't live with my dad,only the others)
Label at school?:yes i have one but am totally against labels. I hate them. But anyway, people call me the depressing little goth girl who hates the world, and is shy,weird,and smart.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PAST

Ex-Boyfriends?:None,I turned them all down.
Last thing said?:"Your stupidity astounds me. Yet I love you anyway!!!"
Last person talked to?:My mom
Last emotion felt?:boredom
Last name you were called?:"That Freaky Chick Over There"
Last person you hit?:My Step-Dad(who I call Daddy anyway)for making me get new glasses.
Last movie seen?:Vincent
Last time you wore a dress?:about a month ago
NOW FOR THE PRESENT

Thoughts about the present?:Yesterday is a promise,but tomorrow is a surprise.That's why we call today the present.
What are you thinking?Pie is one of the best things in the world!!!

WHAT ABOUT THE FUTURE?

Any careers?:I want to build and design airplanes.
Marriage?:NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kids?:I will adopt one kid.THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!
Love?only for my family and my friends.
Money?:I intend to have lots of it.
Environmentalist?:Well,I do don't want to let this planet die.

Well, that basically it. Oh, and I don't think that Veggietales is awesome.They just plain scare me.

One Nation, "Under GOD"
One day, a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The Teacher was explaining evolution to the children. The Teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Do you see the grass?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see GOD?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see GOD because HE isn't there. He just doesn't exist.
The little girl spoke up wanting to ask the boy some questions. The Teacher agreed.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL; Tommy, do you see the Teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No!
LITTLE GIRL: "Then according to what we were taught today, she doesn't have one........... "
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get
Just one whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

We need to stop child abuse!
Help Support This and Put This in Your Profile


(\ __
(O.o)
(>"<)
/_|_\ This is Mr. Bunny. Please paste him to your page to help him with his mission to DOMINATE the world!!and he got his ear cut off


9 WORDS WOMEN USE (thank you mother,you have just saved the opposite sex some thinking)

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say 'you're welcome'.

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.


|………..|
|………..| Put this on your
|………..| page if you have
|…….O.| ever pushed a
|………..| door that said pull!
|………..|
|………..|


HATE EMO/GOTH? READ THIS: Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a t-shirt that barely covers anything? Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful? ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone, are you laughing? Isn't it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts? I'm not laughing. IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart. HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER? HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER BODY AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her life. BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING! BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND! BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE S AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES! IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT! IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET.
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Ankh symbol-Egyptian cross and Egyptian
Symbol for Immortality, also a very popular
Vampire symbol.

------GIRL FACTS:
---When a girl bumps into your arm while walking she wants you to hold her hand
---When she wants a hug she will just stand there
---When you break a girls heart, she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later.
---When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
---When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
---When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
---When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
---When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
---When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
---When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.
---When a girl says, "I miss you, " no one in this world can miss you more than that
---When a girl is mean to you after a breakup she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever



Put this in your profile if you're AGAINST ABORTION...


Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

you say i love u
u lie to me
u say ill see u then
lieing again
u say i miss u
i know who ur with
lie to me and say i want u and only u

=================...========================
============... ...====================
========... I AM shy! ...================
============... ...===================
================. .=======================
================== .=========================



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_______________thex
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_______friends__xx
_____________x
_you_______x
_________xx
___care_xx
_____xxxx
__xaboutx
___xxxxxxx
____xxthexxx
______xxxxxxxx
_most!!_xxxxxxxx
_________xxxxxxx
_________xxxxxxx
________xxxxxx
_____xxxxxxx

on my wrist are little white lines
I've done it so many times
taken that blade
another cut to be made
I'm just so lonely inside
i just can't hide
so i cut to bleed
and bleed to be free
so tell my why
you make me lie
about the things you do to me
why can't you let me be free
trapped in this cage
beaten in you rage
let me out
oh please get me out
trapped in this cell
oh how it feels like hell
it's so dark in here
you seem to feel my fear
please give me a knife
and I'll end my life
I'll be out of your way
you won't have to make me stay
locked in my cell
i swear i won't tell
trapped by a beast
on my fear he would feast
so hidden in my cage
i died because of his rage
I'm still in that cell
that itsy-bitsy part of hell
my body is old
but still my story is told
i was kidnapped in his lust
now i'm am nothing but dust props to black-hear

( . .)
c(''') (''')
its a bunny of doom!!!


*/\*
*||
(**)<^)__/
.||..(___)
.||****||
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you hate cheaters, liars, and posers, post this on your page for a quick kill.

Look, I made a face for Kakashi-sensei!n_/ /


Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Tummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.
Oh, I'm a jolly bear , Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,
Oh I'm a movin , groovin , jolly , singin Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Three times you can bite me

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear) [Pop!]

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Tummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.
Oh, I'm a jolly bear , Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,
Oh I'm a movin , groovin , jolly , singin Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Three times you can bite me

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear) [Pop!]

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Tummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.
Oh, I'm a jolly bear , Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,
Oh I'm a movin , groovin , jolly , singin Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Three times you can bite me

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear) [Pop!]

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Tummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.
Oh, I'm a jolly bear , Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,
Oh I'm a movin , groovin , jolly , singin Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Baba Badobee dobee yum yum
Three times you can bite me

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear) [Pop!]

*A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..

Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

If you would ever do this for someone....then post this on your page


╔═╦═╦═╦╦╗Put this on your channel
║═╣║║╔╣═╣if you are one of the
║║║║║╚╣║║10% that still
╚╩╩═╩═╩╩╝loves ROCK music!
╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your
║╩╣║║║║║page if you are emo.
╚═╩╩╩╩═╝

EMOS-
*Are not cry babies
*Do not always wear black
*Can be very nice people
*Don't always cut themselves
*Are not always depressed
*Can be happy too
(Put this on your profile if you agree with this.)

---/---
---/---`♪.Put this on your
---[]--- page if you have a
---[]--- love for music×♫×
-/[]/- But not that rap
-.[]./- !s**t!
-/.....-
-_._/-

DЄΛTH


_♥_♥___♥_♥_ ρυт тнiՏ
♥___♥_♥___♥ нєαrт
_♥___♥___♥_ oη yoυr
__♥_____♥__ ραgє if
___♥___♥___ yoυ lovє
____♥_♥____ Տoмєoηє

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__$$$__$'$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$__o$ $
__'$$o__$$__$$'$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'$$__$$_____o$$
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_________'$$o$$___$$___$$___$$___o$$$
___________'$$$$o$o$o$o$o$o$o$o$$$$__
Skeleton Jack, LOSERS!!!

MY PHOBIAS

Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse

Anginophobia- Fear of angina, choking or narrowness.

Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry

Antlophobia- Fear of floods

Apiphobia- Fear of bees.

Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored

Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsely represents a sentient being

Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.

Cancerophobia or Carcinophobia- Fear of cancer

Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.

Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia- Fear of being enclosed.

Ecophobia- Fear of home

Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.

Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone

Merinthophobia- Fear of being bound or tied up.

Nosocomephobia- fear of hospitals

Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.

check ur phobias out http://phobialist.com/

__+880_________________________++ __+888________________________+88 __++880______________________+88_ __++888_____+++88__________+++8__ __++8888__+++8880++88____+++88___ __+++8888+++8880++8888__++888____ ___++888++8888+++888888++888_____ ___++88++8888++8888888++888______ ___++++++888888888888888888______ ____++++++88888888888888888______ ____++++++++000888888888888______ _____+++++++000088888888888______ ______+++++++00088888888888______ _______+++++++088888888888_______ _______+++++++088888888888_______ ________+++++++8888888888________ ________+++++++0088888888________ ________++++++0088888888_________ _________+++++0008888888__________ __________________________________

AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE/HATE YOU ALL!!!!! Depends on who you are.

...Have You Ever...
() Smoked a cigarette
() Drank so much you threw up
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (More than once)
() Been arrested
() Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
() Seen someone die
() Been to Canada
(x) Been to Florida
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane (Who on here hasn't?)
(x) Been lost (Yep... I've been lost in another country too...)
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country (I didn't enjoy it though )
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying....
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers (Then I got bored and did something that was actually FUN)
(x) Recently colored with crayons (I then ate the crayons...)
(x) Sang karaoke badly (Err.. no comment)
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins (And you should have seen the amount of coins I'd paid with...)
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (I told myself I wouldn't get out of bed, until I was fully awake... then my alarm clock rang)
(x) Made prank phone calls (I put on a character for it, too XD)
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Laughed until you peed yourself (...Seriously.. no comment)
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
(x) Danced in the rain (Then I saw the lightning... *shudders*)
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus (Yes, I still believe in him, GET OFF MY BACK!!!)
() Been kissed under the mistletoe(I don't think I've ever even seen a mistletoe...)
() Watched the sun rise with someone you care about(I just watch it alone*sigh*I'm so alone...)
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach(My butt STILL hurts)
(x) Crashed a party
(x) Gone roller-skating
(x) Ice-skating (I ended up hurting myself...)

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DOCTOR TO SAY

1. Yes nurse, or should I say “Miss Obvious?” I realize I just accidentally cut off his head. Don’t just stand there, go get the duct tape.

2. Removing an appendix is so easy even a janitor can do it. You wanna bet? Okay, hey, you, yes you, the janitor. Come over here. What’s your name? You’re not sure what your name is? Okay, no biggie. Drop that mop and grab this scalpel.

3. Yes, John, it is time for your yearly prostrate exam. But before we get started, I’d like to introduce you to my pet gerbil.

4. Biopsy? I thought her chart read “autopsy?” Whatever, she’d need one sooner or later. The way I look at it, she’s ahead of the game. Wheel in the next patient.

5. What did you say? We’re out of what? Anesthesia? Okay, I got it. Here’s what we’ll do: we’ll wait until he falls asleep, and then I’ll cut off his gangrene leg. Don’t worry; you know how when you hook a fish in the mouth and the entire one-toothed red-necked inbred angling community tells you that the fish can’t feel it? This is pretty much what we have here, except, of course, this time it’s a human and a, well, a leg.

6. Alrighty then, which kidney am I supposed to remove? Well, when in doubt, default to the old medical standby: “Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, catch a kidney by the toe...”

7. Nurse, hand me that knife, the one sitting next to my half empty bottle of vodka.

8. Oath, smoath. The Hippocratic Oath is only a guideline.

9. Look at the time! Seriously, just rip out his old heart and slap in this new one. What’s the big deal? I have a tee time in ten minutes. Make it snappy. Chop, Chop.

10. Honestly, I have no idea what this little red triangular hammer is used for. But one of my professors in medical school said it was vitally important that I run around whacking my patient’s on the knee with it. Plus, it’s fun.

11. I’ve never actually drawn blood from a patient before. But I’m truly terrific at darts, which if you think about it, are more or less fancy needles dressed up with feathers. Now, let me draw a bulls-eye around your jugular vein and we’ll get this party started.

12. You want to know if this is going to hurt. I’m going to shove a one inch wide, fifteen inch long needle directly in your stomach, what do you think?

13. Excuse me! But do you have a stethoscope hanging around your neck? No? Do you have a white smock on? No? How about a nametag? No? So, who is the doctor here? Hummm? That’s right; I’m the doctor, see the stethoscope; see the white smock; see the nametag. You don’t have any of these things BECAUSE you’re the patient. And if the doctor (that would be me) says that you need a pap smear then you need a pap smear. Do you understand me, Mr. Smith? Great, now we have what is called in medical circles as a “doctor patient relationship.” So, shut up and bend over.

14. Your test results show that you have roughly seven minutes to live. Good luck with that. Oh, make sure you leave your co-pay at the front desk. No checks. Cash only. Stop crying and asking God “why me,” and hurry up and pay your co-pay. Hustle. Hustle. Hustle. Look at my Rolex! (tap on watch crystal) You’re down to six minutes.

15. Look, I don’t know a scalpel from a monk fish, but I’m willing to practice on you.

16. This is an X-ray machine. He is an x-ray technician. And that is why his is covered head-to-toe in lead-lined clothing, hiding behind a lead window, standing in a lead room, and breathing in pure lead. He needs to take 40,000,092,987,112,009 pictures of your insides, and in order to get those pictures you can’t be shielded in lead. And if you don’t have cancer now, you will when he is done with you. But he won’t because his is protected by lead. And, yes, he will probably die of lead poisoning long before you die of cancer, but what do you want from me?

17. Look, I’ve had a really, really, really bad day. My wife ran away with the milkman who is a woman; my stocks dropped eight million points in front of my eyes, my dog was eaten by a hobo, and I haven’t been sober since before the Carter administration. And you are about to be circumcised by yours truly. I suggest you stop trembling and sit still.

18. Hey, back off fella. Replace your own stupid drip bag. Can’t you see I’m flirting with the hot nurse? Sheesh. Some people, I mean, really. So, what’s your sign?

19. Look, I was a butcher before becoming a surgeon. And I say if you’ve sliced and diced one kind of meat, then you’ve sliced and diced all kinds of meat. A short rib is a short rib, and your short ribs are right about here, tickle, tickle, tickle.

20. This is Father Michaels. I’ve lost 28 patients today alone, one who came in to have a hangnail clipped. So, before I start tinkering around your circulatory system, he will read you your last rites. Hey, come back here. Where do you think you’re going? Stop shivering, it’s only precautionary. What can possibly go wrong?

I'M IN LOVE!!! YOU'RE NOT!!!

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

95% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5% yelling "Jump Jump!"

Top 7 Movie Quotes You Don't Want To Hear In Bed


1. "Show me the money." - Jerry McGuire

2. "That’ll do, pig. That’ll do." - Babe

3. "Say hello to my little friend." - Scarface

4. "You’ll shoot your eye out." - A Christmas Story

5. "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

6. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" - The Wizard of Oz

7. "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" - Network


If you Hate Twilight with evey part of your body, then put this on your profile

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is good, and you want to beat them until they stop liking it, than add this to your profile



|………..|
|………..| Put this on your
|………..| page if you have
|…….O.| ever pushed a
|………..| door that said pull!
|………..|
|………..|


Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.


92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their butts off, put this in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have tried pot. If you are one of the 2% who hasn't, post this on your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98% of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

We need to stop child abuse!
Help Support This and Put This in Your Profile

------

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Rats, there go the lights again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off!

What's this doing here?

That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out


If a girl is willing to allow you to watch her purse when she goes to the Ladies Room, she trusts you enough not to rifle through it.

If a girl says 'whatever', shut up.

When a girl doesn't want to answer your question, leave the situation alone.

If your in a fight with your girlfriend, and she just stares at you, you said something you really shouldn't have and she can't believe it.


I'll come up with more.


-------------------Girls-----------------------
--------------are like apples----------------
---------on trees. The best ones-----------
--------are at the top of the tree.----------
------The boys don't want to reach--------
----for the good ones because they-------
--are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
-Instead, they just get the rotten apples--
--from the ground that are not as good, --
-but easy. So the apples at the top think-
-something is wrong with them, when in--
---reality, they are amazing. They just----
-----have to wait for the right boy to------
-------come along, the one who is---------
-------------brave enough to---------------
------------------climb all-------------------
------------------ the way-------------------
-----------------to the top------------------
-----------------of the tree.---------------
___________________________________________________________________

Every girl dreams that one day she will find a boy that does these
things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someone’s life.


• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• trust her over everyone else.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• hold her hand when you're around your friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she's sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• write her letters.
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important.
• let her take all the photos she wants of you.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell her,and when you tell her, love her like you`ve never loved someone before.

~To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
2. Every time someone asks you to do something ask if they want fries with that.
3. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
4. Specify that your drive-through order is To Go.
5. When the money comes out of the ATM scream "I won I won!"
6. When leaving the zoo start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
7. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the Economy we are going to have to let one of you go."