
THE PORTRAIT OF AN OBSESSIVE
COMPULSIVE, SHERRY-DRINKING,
CAT-LOVING INSOMNIAC.
I find self description to be the hardest kind of all, as the nature of others can seem all too transparent, but self knowledge can be so elusive. I will therefore describe myself in terms of my likes and dislikes, as well as my current life situation and by way of observations others have made about me.
I have been told by a sleep specialist (I am a chronic long-term insomniac) that I have an unusual personality. He came to this conclusion after asking me to walk up and down a corridor. Apparently, my style of walking struck him as odd.
I am 36, but mentally much older; 5"9" tall, and trained to be a librarian, though I have never put this to any use, as I consider the racy lifestyle of a librarian to be more than I can cope with, besides, I'm not that keen on books. I still live at home with my mother - and the three cats of course, who go by the names of Tessy-May', 'Dennis Ishmael' and 'Chief Potato' (actually Chief Potato used to belong to two masculine ladies, who are very good at carpentry, and who live opposite me). However, he came to live with us a little over a year ago, because he couldn't stand the wallpaper choices of his previous owners.
I wear cardigans; I drink sweet sherry (because I like it); I can't stand cheese or watching television; I enjoy listening to Choral Evensong on Radio 3 (Wednesday afternoons); I used to like drinking gin, until I realised it was far more effective as an aftershave; I much prefer fitted carpet to laminate flooring, and I enjoy drinking red wine (even though I can't stand the taste of it). So, that's me in a nutshell.
When I was young I almost joined a Franciscan monastery, but came to realise that a liking for the music of Nana Mouskouri and chintz tableware didn't suit the monastic lifestyle. However, one result of my monastic aspirations has been lifelong celibacy, just like my father and mother before me.
Not sure in which direction to take my life, I have had a variety of different jobs, which I would have left of my own volition, even if I hadn't been asked to leave. An octogenarian great aunt, who lives in a home for the terminally bewildered, and who often confuses me with Leo Sayer, suggested that I might make a good rent boy. She meant her best, I'm sure!
My political views are mostly uncontroversial, except to say that I think Hitler was no gentleman, and that I don't think Margaret Thatcher should wear mauve. I must also say, that I think the BBC's decision to abandon the Archbishop of Canterbury's New Year's Day message in respect to multiculturalism was a mistake, especially as it was the highlight of my year.
Religiously speaking, I once had a great faith in God, which I believe helped me to make moral decisions. Now that my faith has disappeared, I simply ask myself what Thora Hird would have done, if confronted by a similar moral dilemma. It seems to help.
In my spare time, I go to work for a Spiritualist organisation, and find myself constantly impressed my how frequently mediums tell me that they have "George" and "Mary" trying to make contact with me, especially as I have never known anyone by either name. They tell me that I have a decision to make, that I shall be going over water and that I like the ladies. I have also been told by a very good medium, that the colour of my aura is aquamarine, which apparently is very good. However, I did feel somewhat disappointed, as I was wearing beige corduroy at the time, and thought such a combination might clash.
Physically speaking, I have let myself become rather unkempt, and receive regular comments concerning the similarity between my hairstyle and that of Albert Einstein. Not that I personally think there is anything wrong with this. Also, since reaching 35, my fashion sense seems to have flown out of the window. Until that age, I was a huge fan of Top Man. However, the last time I tried anything on in that shop, I was struck by how unfavourably skinny jeans were accessorized by eye bags. Also, as hard as I tried, I was unable to find a shirt in anything bigger than extra small. Realising that this would not do at all, I instead headed along to British Home Stores, where I found a lovely pair of slacks and a fabulous drip-dry shirt. As I have long since given up ironing in favour of more intellectual pursuits, this suited me down to the ground. I also gave up dusting a few years ago, and believe the house benefits from the added character.
Another thing I can't stand is modern art. A few years ago, I did the pretentious thing of attempting to comprehend it, as all my peers were doing the same thing at the time. However, this period came to an end, when I was attending an exhibition with my mother, and spent some considerable time discussing the merits or otherwise of a particular piece of work. It was only when the curator approached us, and discreetly informed us that we were in fact not looking at an exhibit, but an industrial-sized air extractor, that we realised our mistake. I have stuck to the Pre-Raphaelites ever since.
That's about all I can think to say about me for now, and anyway, I am cooking Sunday lunch at this moment, and I am sure I can hear the peas about to boil over. On the subject of cooking, I think Fanny Craddock has been unfairly maligned, but more on that at a later date. Thank you for reading.
Any similarity between my own life,
and that of the person described
above, is entirely deliberate.
THE PORTRAIT OF AN OBSESSIVE
COMPULSIVE, SHERRY-DRINKING,
CAT-LOVING INSOMNIAC.
I find self description to be the hardest kind of all, as the nature of others can seem all too transparent, but self knowledge can be so elusive. I will therefore describe myself in terms of my likes and dislikes, as well as my current life situation and by way of observations others have made about me.
I have been told by a sleep specialist (I am a chronic long-term insomniac) that I have an unusual personality. He came to this conclusion after asking me to walk up and down a corridor. Apparently, my style of walking struck him as odd.
I am 36, but mentally much older; 5"9" tall, and trained to be a librarian, though I have never put this to any use, as I consider the racy lifestyle of a librarian to be more than I can cope with, besides, I'm not that keen on books. I still live at home with my mother - and the three cats of course, who go by the names of Tessy-May', 'Dennis Ishmael' and 'Chief Potato' (actually Chief Potato used to belong to two masculine ladies, who are very good at carpentry, and who live opposite me). However, he came to live with us a little over a year ago, because he couldn't stand the wallpaper choices of his previous owners.
I wear cardigans; I drink sweet sherry (because I like it); I can't stand cheese or watching television; I enjoy listening to Choral Evensong on Radio 3 (Wednesday afternoons); I used to like drinking gin, until I realised it was far more effective as an aftershave; I much prefer fitted carpet to laminate flooring, and I enjoy drinking red wine (even though I can't stand the taste of it). So, that's me in a nutshell.
When I was young I almost joined a Franciscan monastery, but came to realise that a liking for the music of Nana Mouskouri and chintz tableware didn't suit the monastic lifestyle. However, one result of my monastic aspirations has been lifelong celibacy, just like my father and mother before me.
Not sure in which direction to take my life, I have had a variety of different jobs, which I would have left of my own volition, even if I hadn't been asked to leave. An octogenarian great aunt, who lives in a home for the terminally bewildered, and who often confuses me with Leo Sayer, suggested that I might make a good rent boy. She meant her best, I'm sure!
My political views are mostly uncontroversial, except to say that I think Hitler was no gentleman, and that I don't think Margaret Thatcher should wear mauve. I must also say, that I think the BBC's decision to abandon the Archbishop of Canterbury's New Year's Day message in respect to multiculturalism was a mistake, especially as it was the highlight of my year.
Religiously speaking, I once had a great faith in God, which I believe helped me to make moral decisions. Now that my faith has disappeared, I simply ask myself what Thora Hird would have done, if confronted by a similar moral dilemma. It seems to help.
In my spare time, I go to work for a Spiritualist organisation, and find myself constantly impressed my how frequently mediums tell me that they have "George" and "Mary" trying to make contact with me, especially as I have never known anyone by either name. They tell me that I have a decision to make, that I shall be going over water and that I like the ladies. I have also been told by a very good medium, that the colour of my aura is aquamarine, which apparently is very good. However, I did feel somewhat disappointed, as I was wearing beige corduroy at the time, and thought such a combination might clash.
Physically speaking, I have let myself become rather unkempt, and receive regular comments concerning the similarity between my hairstyle and that of Albert Einstein. Not that I personally think there is anything wrong with this. Also, since reaching 35, my fashion sense seems to have flown out of the window. Until that age, I was a huge fan of Top Man. However, the last time I tried anything on in that shop, I was struck by how unfavourably skinny jeans were accessorized by eye bags. Also, as hard as I tried, I was unable to find a shirt in anything bigger than extra small. Realising that this would not do at all, I instead headed along to British Home Stores, where I found a lovely pair of slacks and a fabulous drip-dry shirt. As I have long since given up ironing in favour of more intellectual pursuits, this suited me down to the ground. I also gave up dusting a few years ago, and believe the house benefits from the added character.
Another thing I can't stand is modern art. A few years ago, I did the pretentious thing of attempting to comprehend it, as all my peers were doing the same thing at the time. However, this period came to an end, when I was attending an exhibition with my mother, and spent some considerable time discussing the merits or otherwise of a particular piece of work. It was only when the curator approached us, and discreetly informed us that we were in fact not looking at an exhibit, but an industrial-sized air extractor, that we realised our mistake. I have stuck to the Pre-Raphaelites ever since.
That's about all I can think to say about me for now, and anyway, I am cooking Sunday lunch at this moment, and I am sure I can hear the peas about to boil over. On the subject of cooking, I think Fanny Craddock has been unfairly maligned, but more on that at a later date. Thank you for reading.
Any similarity between my own life,
and that of the person described
above, is entirely deliberate.
- Last seen on Jan 7 4:44 PM. Member since December 14, 2008.
- I am a 36 year old man (Great Britain)
- I am in the groups Writings of the Supernatural
Guest Book
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SageSyren on December 14, 2008Welcome to the StoryWrite website!
My username is SageSyren but most people just call me Syren or Brooke. Our site is a community of people who all share a common desire to write and hopefully become a published author sometime in the future. It is also a place to sharpen your writing skills and display your creativity while being in a fun environment!
You will notice a gold medal by your name.
This is a free trial gold membership. This shows you what options you have if you were a paid member of Storywrite.com. After approximately three days, the gold membership expires, reverting to a regular FREE membership, so please take the opportunity to see all that our site offers to you.
We have a new members group on the site. This group was set-up to show you how to post your work onto the site and to give you an understanding of how the reading/reviewing of your work actually happens. If you have not already done so, I would suggest you take a peek into this group and see how this process works:
New Members Group
Along with a new members group, we have a New Members Contest that is held every month. Come and check it out. The contest is open to any new member:
New Members Contest
It is recommended that all new members to the site give serious consideration to joining a writing group as a method of assisting them in becoming an active member of the site. Most Storywrite members belong to groups to help them improve their writing skills, to socialize, talk about common interests or otherwise interact with other people of like mind. It is also a great place to make new friends and get helpful critiques.
Group List
You have joined at a great time. We now offer courses on how to improve your writing. Above you is a link that will take you to the classes that Storywrite offers: Learn. For example, one such class is ‘Let’s Get Published’. There are many more. If interested please click the above link or this one.
Included below are a few quick tips that have proven to be very helpful to new members in doing some of the basic functions necessary to get yourself set-up and running on the site.
Emoticons
Getting Reads and Promoting
Chatterbox conduct
Trolls or Cyberbullies
Some Fun Stuff to do around Storywrite.
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Thank you for joining the Storywrite web community. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! Have fun and keep writing!
~*Brooke*~
Co-Head Greeter
