MistrissmoonShow stories

ok,i'm jodie.i have redish blond hair,cholatey brown eyes....thats why my mom says i'm full of it,lol.oh,and i wear glasses and i'm tall and weird and random. here is some randomness..........silence is golden,duct tape is silver.........if you mated a bulldog and a shitzu,would it be called a bullshit?........ a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.........you want security?i'll make you pay,you want warmth?i;ll burn down your house,you want loyalty?i'm thinking of how it will benefit me,you want love?you'll fall so hard you'll break your neck........judge me and i'll prove you wrong.tell me what to do and i'll tell you off.say i'm not worth it and watch were i end up.call me a bitch and i'll show you one.fuck me over and i'll do it to you twice as bad.call me crazy but you really have no idea =).......i'm selfish,impatient and a little insecure.i make mistakes,i am out of control and at times hard to handle.but if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure don't desurve me at my best.........i'm one fasinating bitch, i'm not going to lie........i'm not random i just have many thoughts.......jealousy is always the best compliment.......confidence,wear it like makeup......it's not my fault that when i was a baby,i was dropped in a box of glitter and i've been shine'n ever since.......keepit gangster white girl style,word.....dear diary,today we were kidnapped by hillfolk,never to be seen again.it was the best day ever!!....angry people need hugs.(or sharp objects).....sarcasm,keeps people from knowing what i really think about them.i just heard a naked retard in snow boots was riding a big wheel,smelling their fingers and waving at passing cars........do you need me to come get you again?.i don't care if you lick the windows,take the special bus or pee your self,you hang in there sunshine,your friggen special.best friends "i have to keep you around,you know too much".screw huggs!!!i'm gonna tackle you next time i see you.just remember,i have a dirty mind,anything you say will be turned into somthing dirty.who are you calling a cootie queen,you lint licker?people should not fear their goverment,the goverment should fear it's people...........
(\ /)
(O.o)
(>"<)
/_|_\

Say hello to Bunneh.Paste him on your page to help in his mission to dominate the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

╔══╦╦╦╦╦╗╔╦═╦╦╦══╗
╚╗╔╣║║║║║║║║║╩╠╗╔╝
─║║║║║║║╚╣╠╗║║║║║─
─╚╝╚══╩╩═╩╩═╩╩╝╚╝─
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .*
. . . . . . . . . . .*. . . . . . . ** *
. . . . .. . . . . .*** . . * . . *****
. . . . . . . . . . .** . . **. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . . . ***.*. . *. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . . .****. . . .** . . . ******
. . . . . . . . . ***** . . . .**.*. . . . . **
. . . . . . . . .*****. . . . . **. . . . . . *.**
. . . . . . . .*****. . . . . .*. . . . . . *
. . . . . . . .******. . . . .*. . . . . *
. . . . . . . .******* . . .*. . . . .*
. . . . . . . . .*********. . . . . *
. . . . . . . . . .******* . ***
*******. . . . . . . . .**
.*******. . . . . . . . *
. ******. . . . . . . . * *
. .***. . *. . . . . . .**
. . . . . . .*. . . . . *
. . . . .****.*. . . .*
. . . *******. .*. .*
. . .*******. . . *.
. . .*****. . . . *
. . .**. . . . . .*
. . .*. . . . . . **.*
. . . . . . . . . **
. . . . . . . . .*
. . . . . . . . .*
. . . . . . . . .*
. . . . . . . . *
. . . . . . . . *
. . . . . . . . *
. . . . . . . . *
. . . . . . . . *

( \ / )
(^ . ^)
(") (") Don't u luv him!
Help the bunny dominate the world!

/+88______________________________
_+880_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
__+880_________________________++_
__+888________________________+88_
__++880______________________+88__
__++888_____+++88__________+++8__
__++8888__+++8880++88____+++88___
__+++8888+++8880++8888__++888____
___++888++8888+++888888++888_____
___++88++8888++8888888++888______ Music Is Life!
___++++++888888888888888888______
____++++++88888888888888888______
____++++++++000888888888888______
_____+++++++000088888888888______
______+++++++00088888888888______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
________+++++++8888888888________
________+++++++0088888888________
________++++++0088888888_________
________+++++0008888888__________


¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer!

----- You know you live in 2009 when... -----

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave .

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) add this to your profile if you fell for this.you know did ~

HEY CEHCK TIHS OUT!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? So can your read this?

I Got A Kitty Watch Him Nyaa~!

NyaaNyaa(\_/)NyaaNyaaNyaa
NyaaNyaa(^.^)NyaaNyaaNyaa
NyaaNyaa(___)___,NyaaNyaa Copy him if you like cats!

Don't let the vampires get you!send them to me

(\ /)
( . .)
c(''')(''')

Parade of the evil bunnies is on its way!!
|………..|
|………..| Put this on ya page
|………..| If you've ever pulled
|…….O.| a door that said
|………..| PUSH (or vice versa)! lmao!
|………..|
|………..|
______8888888888____________________
____888888888888888_________________
__888888822222228888________________
_88888822222222288888_______________
888888222222222228888888888888______
888882222222222222288222222222888___
8888822222222222222222222222222288__
_8888822222222222222222222222222_88_
__88888222222222222222222222222__888
___888822222222222222222222222___888
____8888222222222222222222222____888
_____8888222222222222222222_____888_
______8882222222222222222_____8888__
_______888822222222222______888888__
________8888882222______88888888____
_________888888_____888888888_______
__________88888888888888____________
___________888888888________________
_____________8888___________________
______________8_____________________

´´´´´´´´´´´¶.**..**
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶*..**.*
´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶ .*.*.*
¶¶¶´´´´´¶¶´¶*..**.*
´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´¶*.*.**.. **.
´´´¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶ *.*.
´´´´´¶¶´¶¶´´´´¶ ¶¶¶*.*. *
´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶¶.* *.**.*.
´´´¶¶´¶¶¶¶´´¶*.*. *.**.
´´¶¶¶¶¶´´¶¶´¶´** * ***
´¶¶´´´´´´´´¶¶¶´ ** ***
COPY THIS TO UR PROFILE,
IF TWILIGHT IS UR BRAND OF HERION !
  []===["""|"""|"""|"""]|)>---- ♥
( \ / )
( 0.o ) <---Alfred
(") (")
Post him on your page if your hyper!
(\ (\
(=-.-)
(_(")(") Watchin you!
Random bunneh time!!!
(\ /)
( . .)
c(''') (''')
its a bunny of doom!..::..
'If You Can't Take The Heat, Don't Tickle THE DRAGON.' random T-shirt

I am the kind of girl who will stuff my mouth with cupcake and THEN try to have a conversation
I am the kind of girl who will jump into a puddle of mud with brand new white shoes on
I am the kind of girl who will NOT buy expensive shoes because I just KNOW that I am going to walk in dirt no matter HOW expensive they are
I am the kind of girl who can bond with guys faster than girls
I am the kind of girl who plays RPGs and knows what kind of weapon it is
I am the kind of girl who WILL punch you if you say something wrong
I am the kind of girl who can bark and bite
I am the kind of girl who changes who she likes once every 2 years
I am the kind of girl who wants him to notice who I am
I am the kind of girl that is SO SUBTLE
I am the kind of girl that doesn't want to look good
I am the kind of girl who doesn't care what people think of me
I am the kind of girl who knows the difference between a ford and a toyota
I am the kind of girl who appreciates nice cars
I am the kind of girl who can make you glow with one look
I am the kind of girl who can make you smile without even realizing it
IF YOU ARE THIS KIND OF GIRL POST THIS ON YOUR PAGE!!!!

¯`v´¯) Put this on
.`·.¸.·´ your profile
¸.·´.·´¨) ¸.·¨) if you are still waiting
(¸.·´(¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`☆ for that special someone♥

Homophobia Is Wrong:

There was a big list of things to try and make you sympathize and believe homophobia is a terrible thing and is completely wrong. However I don't need to post the list for everyone to be aware that anyone homophobic should be disgusted with themselves. If two people love each other. Let them be. End of story. Okay?

*Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.*

*** If you hear voices of your characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. ***

*** If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.***

***If you hate narrow minded people, paste this on your profile***

[O.o]
/)__) Whatchu looking at!?
-"--"-



Four friends met in a reunion. Subject matter:Their Sons.
First Son:Rich engineer gifted his bff a 30,000 square foot mansion
Second Son:Rich airlines owner, gifted his bff a private jet
Third Son:Rich industrialist, gifted his bff a Mercedes

Then they ask the fourth friend:What about your son?
Fourth Son:Gay and works as a stripper in a nightclub

First Friend:I feel so sorry for you
Second Friend:It must be so embarassing, I know
Third Friend:What a pity he can't be like our sons

The fourth friend laughed and said, "No, it's a very good career, he was just gifted a 30,000 square foot mansion, a private jet and a Mercedes by his three boyfriends!

Anyone can write, boy or girl. I think people are wrong when they say they can't write a story, because anyone can. If you think this is true, copy this onto your page.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST want to f@#% them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I don't FLIRT WITH GUYS AT SCHOOL so I MUST be gay.
I dont like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear BOY'S CLOTHES so I MUST be a lesbian or a dyke.
I'm POSTING THIS so I MUST be a groupie.

Post this if you hate stereotypes

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their butts off, put this in your profile

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
-- Wendy Leibman 98 percent of teenagers have tried pot. If you are one of the 2% who hasn't, post this on your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98% of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Rats, there go the lights again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off!

What's this doing here?

That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out

Put this on your page if you think catapillars are cute.

\_/-.--.--.--.--.--.
(")__)__)__)__)__)__)
^ "" "" "" "" "" ""

^o^ Copy and paste this to your page if you like gum

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. run around the the entire store screaming "the zombies are coming,the zombies are coming!!!".

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

An
Actual Letter To Bill Gates

Dear Bill Gates,

This letter is from Mr. Santa from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account. But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail in password field only * comes, But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced The problem only in Password field.

We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.

But I request you to check this as we our self don’t know what is the password!


The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer. There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder. We request you to add the same in future.

There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking started running and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request you change that to SIT. So that we can click that by sitting.

One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?

In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail. Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?

The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house. So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same there also, Is it a bug?

Rest In next letter.
Yours Anonymously,
Santa Singh
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior,Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, KylaMizuki, SkyeEyesSparkle7135, Ms.Misery.SouthernSecrets15, Violent Glass, emo is my name, Grim Death, Becklypuff, The Morpher,mistrissmoon.

╔══╗♫
║██║ Put this ipod on your profile if you
║(0)║♫ love Maroon 5, and Rascal Flats!!
╚══╝
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

._/l、
(゚、 。 7
 l、 ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ Kittens are evil...but cute.♥


Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
-- Conan OBrien

*/\*
*||
(**)<^)__/
.||..(___)
.||****||
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you hate cheaters, liars, and posers, post this on your page for a quick kill.

...../l~l\......................../l~l\......................../l~l\.......................
.....\l~l/........................\l~l/........................\l~l/.......................
......l_l..........................l_l..........................l_l.........................
......l_l..........................l_l..........................l_l.........................
......l_l..........................l_l..........................l_l.........................
./]...l_l..[ \................/]...l_l..[ \................/]...l_l..[ \....................
.\ \__l_l_/ /................\ \__l_l_/ /................\ \__l_l_/ /....................
..\....llll.../.................\....llll.../.................\....llll.../....................
../....llll...\................./....llll...\................./....llll...\....................
./.....llll..o\................/.....llll..o\................/.....llll..o\...................
.|..........o|...............|..........o|...............|..........o|...................
..\_______/..................\_______/..................\_______/....................

´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨• Twilight •´¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸
´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨• New Moon •´¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸
´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨• Eclipse •´¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸
´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨•BreakingDawn•´¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸
´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨•Midnight Sun•´¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

-----///\\-----Please
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||--|||---On Your
---|||--|||---Account If
---|||--|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died Or Is Dying
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Thanks For Your Support!


PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU ARE FOR ABORTION. I don't understand how you could be AGAINST abortion, that's like saying you're against curing cancer "THE TUMOURS A LIVING THING, DON'T CUT IT OUT!!" They can have it cut it out, if they damn well want too!

energizer bunny arrested,charged with battery

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DOCTOR TO SAY

1. Yes nurse, or should I say “Miss Obvious?” I realize I just accidently cut off his head. Don’t just stand there, go get the duct tape.

2. Removing an appendix is so easy even a janitor can do it. You wanna bet? Okay, hey, you, yes you, the janitor. Come over here. What’s your name? You’re not sure what your name is? Okay, no biggie. Drop that mop and grab this scalpel.

3. Yes, John, it is time for your yearly prostrate exam. But before we get started, I’d like to introduce you to my pet gerbil.

4. Biopsy? I thought her chart read “autopsy?” Whatever, she’d need one sooner or later. The way I look at it, she’s ahead of the game. Wheel in the next patient.

5. What did you say? We’re out of what? Anesthesia? Okay, I got it. Here’s what we’ll do: we’ll wait until he falls asleep, and then I’ll cut off his gangrene leg. Don’t worry; you know how when you hook a fish in the mouth and the entire one-toothed red-necked inbred angling community tells you that the fish can’t feel it? This is pretty much what we have here, except, of course, this time it’s a human and a, well, a leg.

6. Alrighty then, which kidney am I supposed to remove? Well, when in doubt, default to the old medical standby: “Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, catch a kidney by the toe...”

7. Nurse, hand me that knife, the one sitting next to my half empty bottle of vodka.

8. Oath, smoath. The Hippocratic Oath is only a guideline.

9. Look at the time! Seriously, just rip out his old heart and slap in this new one. What’s the big deal? I have a tee time in ten minutes. Make it snappy. Chop, Chop.

10. Honestly, I have no idea what this little red triangular hammer is used for. But one of my professors in medical school said it was vitally important that I run around whacking my patient’s on the knee with it. Plus, it’s fun.

11. I’ve never actually drawn blood from a patient before. But I’m truly terrific at darts, which if you think about it, are more or less fancy needles dressed up with feathers. Now, let me draw a bulls-eye around your jugular vein and we’ll get this party started.

12. You want to know if this is going to hurt? I’m going to shove a one inch wide, fifteen inch long needle directly in your stomach, what do you think?

13. Excuse me! But do you have a stethoscope hanging around your neck? No? Do you have a white smock on? No? How about a nametag? No? So, who is the doctor here? Hummm? That’s right; I’m the doctor, see the stethoscope; see the white smock; see the nametag. You don’t have any of these things BECAUSE you’re the patient. And if the doctor (that would be me) says that you need a pap smear then you need a pap smear. Do you understand me, Mr. Smith? Great, now we have what is called in medical circles as a “doctor patient relationship.” So, shut up and bend over.

14. Your test results show that you have roughly seven minutes to live. Good luck with that. Oh, make sure you leave your co-pay at the front desk. No checks. Cash only. Stop crying and asking God “why me,” and hurry up and pay your co-pay. Hustle. Hustle. Hustle. Look at my Rolex! (tap on watch crystal) You’re down to six minutes.

15. Look, I don’t know a scalpel from a monk fish, but I’m willing to practice on you.

16. This is an X-ray machine. He is an x-ray technician. And that is why his is covered head-to-toe in lead-lined clothing, hiding behind a lead window, standing in a lead room, and breathing in pure lead. He needs to take 40,000,092,987,112,009 pictures of your insides, and in order to get those pictures you can’t be shielded in lead. And if you don’t have cancer now, you will when he is done with you. But he won’t because his is protected by lead. And, yes, he will probably die of lead poisoning long before you die of cancer, but what do you want from me?

17. Look, I’ve had a really, really, really bad day. My wife ran away with the milkman who is a woman; my stocks dropped eight million points in front of my eyes, my dog was eaten by a hobo, and I haven’t been sober since before the Carter administration. And you are about to be circumcised by yours truly. I suggest you stop trembling and sit still.

18. Hey, back off fella. Replace your own stupid drip bag. Can’t you see I’m flirting with the hot nurse? Sheesh. Some people, I mean, really. So, what’s your sign?

19. Look, I was a butcher before becoming a surgeon. And I say if you’ve sliced and diced one kind of meat, then you’ve sliced and diced all kinds of meat. A short rib is a short rib, and your short ribs are right about here, tickle, tickle, tickle.

20. This is Father Michaels. I’ve lost 28 patients today alone, one who came in to have a hangnail clipped. So, before I start tinkering around your circulatory system, he will read you your last rites. Hey, come back here. Where do you think you’re going? Stop shivering, it’s only precautionary. What can possibly go wrong?

Top 7 Movie Quotes You Don't Want To Hear In Bed


1. "Show me the money." - Jerry McGuire

2. "That’ll do, pig. That’ll do." - Babe

3. "Say hello to my little friend." - Scarface

4. "You’ll shoot your eye out." - A Christmas Story

5. "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

6. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" - The Wizard of Oz

7. "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" - Network

---------------------------------------
................... ............. /' /)
................./´ /)........./¯ //
..............,/¯// ......... /...//
............./...//. ......./¯ //
.........../´¯/'´ ¯/´¯ /.../ /
........./'.../... ./... /.../ //
........('(...´(... ....... ,../'. .')
.........\.......... ..... ..\/..../
..........''...\.... ..... . _.•´
............\....... ..... ..(
..............\..... ..... ...\
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

==================================================
__________________________________________________________
___0000_______________00__________________copy this
_00____00__________00____0000000__________if you love
0________00000000000__0_0_0___00000000__Naruto
_00____00__________00____0000000___________=^._.^=
___0000_______________00__________________
__________________________________________________________

(@)__(@)
( O . O )
( > < )
|_| |_|

This is Mr.Hampster Please paste him in your page to help with his WOLRD DOMINATION

ok,i am going to add a new saying every time i log on,enjoy.^^(and you can totally copy and paste)

"taste the rainbow!" -skittles

"the gates of hell
before me things created were none,save things
eternal,and enternal i endure
all hope,abandon ye who enter here." -dante inferno

"loudly,proudly,tairen sing,
as they soar on mighy wings,
softly,sadly,mother's cry
to sing a tairen lullabye" -the tairen's lament,fey nursery rhyme

"you can't push it underground,
you can't stop it screaming out,
how did it come to this?
you will suck the life out of me"-muse,"time is running out"

"day of wrath:
day of wrath,that day of burning,
seer and sibyl speak concerning,
all the world to ashs turning"-abraham coles

"the land of faery,
were nobody gets old and godly and grave,
were nobody gets old and crafty and wise,
were nobody gets old and bitter of tongue"-william butler yeats,the land of hearts desire

"i belive in everything until it's disproved.
so i belive in fairies,the myths,dragons.it all exists,
even if it's in your mind.who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now"
-john lennon


"when the first baby laughed for the first time,it's laugh broke into a thousand pieces,and they all
went skipping about,and that was the beginning of fairies.and now whan every new baby is born it's
first laugh becomes a fairy. so there ought to be a fairy for every boy or girl"
-james m. barrie,peter pan

"take a sprinkling of fairy dust,
an angel's single feather,
also a dash of love and care,
then mix them both together.
add a sentiment or two,
a thoughtful wish or line.
a touch of stardust,a sunshine ray....
it's a recipe,for a baby girl truly fine."-auther unknown

"faeries,come take out of this dull world,
for i would ride with you upon the wind,
run on top of the dishevelled tide,
and dance upon the mountains like a flame."-william butler yeats,the land of hearts desire

"hello,my name is inigo montoya,you killed my father ,prepere to die"-the princess bride

"the greatist thing you'll ever learn,is just to love,and be loved in return"- the moulin rouge

"up on the airy mountain,
down the rushy glen,
we daren't go a-hunting
for fear of little men;
wee folk,good folk,
trooping all together,
green jacket,red cap,
and white owl's feather!"-william allingham,the fairies.

"some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again"-c.s.lewis

"i think, at a childs birth,if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the
most useful gift,that gift would be curiosity"-eleanor roosevelt

"soft moss a downy pillow, and green leaves spread a tent,
where faerie fold may rest and sleepuntill their night is spent.the bluebird sings a lullaby,the firefly gives a light,
the twinkling stars are candles bright,sleep,faeries all,good night"-elizabeth t,dillinqham

"sarah:it bit me!
hoggle:what'd you expect fairies to do?
sarah:i thought they did nice things,like granting wishes
hoggle:shows what you know,don't it?"-labyrinth,1986 movie

the tooth fairy teaches children they can sell body parts for money"-david richerby


"do not ask questions of fairy tales"-jewish proverb

"there are no stupid questions,just stupid people." -auther unknown


"what are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywere? 'hold my purse'."-auther unknown

"flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."-douglas adams


"never was there a tale of more woe than of juliet and her romeo."-william shakspear's romeo and juliet

"duct tape is like the force.it has a light side,a dark side and it honds the world together"-auther unknown


"come away!O,human child!
to the woods and waters wild,
with a fairy hand in hand,
for the world's more full of weeping than
you can understand!"
-w.b yeats

"We the Fairies, blithe and antic,
Of dimensions not gigantic,
Though the moonshine mostly keep us,
Oft in orchards frisk and peep us."
-Thomas Randolph



"The wall is silence, the grass is sleep,
Tall trees of peace their vigil keep,
And the Fairy of Dreams with moth-wings furled
Plays soft on her flute to the drowsy world."
-Ida Rentoul Outhwaite


"Child of the pure, unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy tale."
-Lewis Carroll


"Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown."
-- Conan OBrien


"the greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart."-robert G.ingersoll


"o you were a vampire and i may never see the light."-concrete blond, bloodletting


"Awaken to darkness on this place we call Earth,
One vampire's bite brings another one's birth.
A vampire wakes with blood thirsty needs
On the warm rich sensation he feels when he feeds.
He stalks in the night like a disatrous beast,
And what once was alive will soon be deceased.
So when the last bit of sunlight disappears from the sky,
You better watch out unless you want to die."
-Victoria Boatwright

"They aren't real, I heard you say,
But in my heart is where they'll stay.
And as long as to the dream I resist
They will in my mind forever exist."
-Kris (LettoDamor)

"But first, on earth as Vampire sent,
Thy corpse shall from its tomb be rent:
Then ghastly haunt thy native place,
And suck the blood of all thy race;
There from thy daughter, sister, wife,
At midnight drain the stream of life;
Yet loathe the banquet which perforce
Must feed thy livid living corpse.
Thy victims are they yet expire
Shall know the demon for their sire,
As cursing thee, thou cursing them,
Thy flowers withered on the stem."
-Lord Byron (Giaour)

William Makepeace Thackeray-"Fairy roses, fairy rings, turn out sometimes troublesome things"

My Stories

Guest Book

1 - 4 of 5   Show all
  • hey... is this...Linchy???
  • edu on June 19
    hey i saw that thing about the human mind reading words in mess in national geographic channel lol
  • Xan Sanders on April 2
    U r so random
  • mistrissmoon on March 30
    photobucket.com

Subject: