Think Friendly Thoughts

What does it mean to hate, and I mean really hate, someone? That's a question that's been plaguing me lately. There are a few people that even the thought of makes me feel sick, queezy's probably the better word for it, yet they're still my friends. Honestly, I suppose I hide a bit of resentment for everyone really.

There's this one guy, and every time I think about him I picture him with a navy aura around him. Now, I'm not a believer in all this aura stuff but it always makes me feel negative toward him whenever I think about him.

Another, a girl, gives me a feeling that's much easier to explain. Whenever I think about her, I feel a strong desire to throw up barriers against her yet I cast these barriers aside at the merest oppertunity to contact her. I don't know what makes me feel worse, the fact that I wish to bar her from my life or the fact that I lack the will power to do so.

Still more, two guys, and I'm confused once more. At times they enfuriate me no end; both for varying reasons. Whenever I think about their attitudes, I think about how they grew up, in vastly different circumstances to myself. Perhaps that's the problem? We were raised in different manners and while I try not to force my own ways upon them, I feel it is through my own upbringing that I judge them.

Now I will not say that I hate any of the above, far from it...or so I'll posit. Perhaps I need to 'find' myself before I can face my feelings toward my 'friends.'

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