with the sound of the title you would be thinking im talking about on her. but im not. and here is why
December 10th my uncle died. a man i loved dearly. he was my father when my parents devorce and mine went on the road and he was my safe house when they got back together and my dad was "angry" all the time. he was my fishing partner and best friend i went down to the river just to be on the boat and chillax with the family. all in all he was my best friend.
three days later we buried him in his final resting place. and i havent been the same since. i didnt really cry much while he had been dying and i think thats because i just got numb from hearing the doctors say he wouldnt last much longer and him out living what they gave him for so long. but after it just hurt to hear anything that reminded me of the man i was so close to when growing up.
what has come up now is my aunts mom has died. and the veiwing is tomorrow the funeral is friday. im not wanting to go to either because as i think of it im seeing my uncle there. not a lady i dont even know.
i want to go so i can be there for my aunt but i dont want to start over in the waterfalls when im just now getting over them. what should i do? go and be there for my aunt though i know i will end up hurting for a nother reason? or stay and feel bad for not being there for my aunt?
im confused!!! can some one help
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You should go, you may regret not going later and it's not something you can just go back to and start over. In my opinion the waterfalls will be there again either way, it happens and there is no stopping it. So I'd say to just be there for your aunt.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Tiff<3 -
talk to your aunt and maybe she will understand about your problem. im really sorry about your uncle.
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I think that maybe you should talk to your aunt about why you dont want to go..tell her why you'll be hurting and I think that she'll understand and maybe help you through this hard time...so just talk
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...death is a very delicate matter, especially of a loved one. Obviously its understandable that it hurts...it still hurts for me 10 years later. But. Do it all depends on if you think you are capable of handling the situation of the funeral. It's going to be hard. And if it's going to be too hard, don't go. You will be there with your aunt in spirit if that is the case...
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I believe that you should go and be there for your aunt. It will be difficult and hard, but you dont want to live in regret that you did not go and can not change the fact in the future. So I believe you should go and do the best you can with the situation.
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My friend. I understand your pain. You asked me for my advice. I cannot tell you what TO do. I CAN tell you what I WOULD do, as a suggestion.
Explain to your aunt the pain you are experiencing. The turmoil and the inner conflict you are having should also be explained. Tell her that, while you do want to be there for her, you just don't think it would be best for you. Explain to her that, while you ARE sorry for her loss, you didn't really know this woman, and therefore would not see it fit for you to show and pay your respects to a woman you don't even know.
That is my argument for why you should stay. BUT! If your aunt was there for you when your uncle died...I would say go.
Return the respect and kindness that she showed you. While your pain IS important here, and not to be forgotten, it is your aunt who has just lost her MOTHER. I'd still explain your pain to her, and I might even have her READ this entry here.
....you know what? None of this matters.
Ask your aunt. Explain your feelings to her and ask what she wants. If she wants you there as a source of support, then go, keeping in mind that your pain will heal itself in time.
If she understands your possition, and releases you from this obligation as her niece, then I'd stay. No reason to go through unneeded tears. -
I would go, Only because Lizzy is right, you will end up regretting it if you dont go. I understand that you are hurting because of your Uncle. But you need to think about something. Would your Uncle want to see you this upset? I dont think so. I know that you loved him, but I know that it takes time for wounds to heal. The pain will not disappear overnight, which I am sure you have come to understand. But knowing that he didn't want you upset like this, I think that may help. I hope you decide whatever you think is best for you, And I am behind you 100% in what ever you decide.
Take care hun!
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Wow. I'm not sure what to really say. I went through something similiar in 2007. It was my uncle, and then my dad almost died. Not getting into the story, but some times you have to do what is better for you. I didn't want to see my dad, but I went, and I'm glad I did. If I was you, I would go. I didn't see my Grandfather when he was in the hospital, and they said he was fine, and three days later he died and that was in 2003 and I still kick myself for that. It might also help you get feelings out that you've been hiding inside and you'll be support for your family and I'm sure they'll be the same to you...
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personally, i would stay. it should be you that matters most in that situation. you shouldn't have to attend the funeral of someone you don't know. its just depressing. stay home.
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Again i would say go..wonds can heal, may take a while but they do and if you dont go you may regret it
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I would go... because yes, you may be hurt, you may be hurt for a long while. But you can not go back to the situation in a day, a month, or an year, and make the choice to go then. And time really does heal all wounds. I can relate to this, I really can. Last year, I had two people I cared for very deeply die within a month of each other, and I was not the same for months. But time has made a difference, and things really do get better. I am here for you if you need someone.
~~Kitten -
ok
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