Sullen grey clouds adorn the skies and heavy the air that hangs on this Autumn morning. Rain drizzles in a meagre effort , niether interested or disinterested in quenching natures thirst.The volume of traffic crawling down a distant road drones morbidly as if to echo the feelings of the day, and I wait. Waiting is something that seems to be becoming an integral part of my life these days,waiting, hoping, daydreaming of a brighter time and place somewhere out there beyond the hidden sun.Tic tok, tic tok, tic tok,vital seconds , minutes, hours pass by to the gentle rythmn of the swaying pendulem, each swing of its arm a moment never to pass my way again.So heavy my heart on days such as these,its fire nothing but a flickering ember that barely offers warmth of any nature.Thoughts that burden my mind sit complacently on the edge of my existence waiting , waiting, waiting .........
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I can relate to this. Most days my husband and I walk the dog in the afternoon taking the same path through the same fields each time. I look back to September recall us picking blackberries and wonder if he will be here to pick them next year. He will be 80 then. When we get home I think we will never ever do that again not on this date of this month of this year. Even on here when I close the computer down I think another day gone for good no recapturing no going back. I think of my kids and feel sad I won't know them in old age which is totally daft, or see my grandchildren also grown old. I know I will feel better in the spring unless it's cold and bleak as it often is. Poetry reading, and writing it, does help but I have to resist the urge to dwell on sad and depressing poems about death etc. I wish we humans could hibernate for the winter and wake all slim and refreshed.
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Recently my thoughts to have dwelled on such things "P".But the sun will shine tomorrow I am sure. Keep it in your heart my friend...*hug
...mal
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Personal Memoirs are so personal...
We both have the same model of nature's clock, Mal... not fun, is it?!!? Have you ever considered moving to sunny and mild Southern California? I'm here for the climate, because, like you mentioned, the weather really affects my moods. Anyway, this is a brilliant piece, as all your writing is. I'm not sure how I missed out on reading this one before now. I may have been somewhere on the edge, like the subject here, also waiting. Well, at least you have your journal to keep you company. Pen on... 
Love,
Cyn
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Ooooh I'd like to live somwhere where the sun shone everyday Cy'n, Not to warm, not to cold,Just a smiley climate to enjoy., but then I would miss this green and pleasant land of gales and storms. Guess I can't have my cake and eat it eh!! LOL.. Peace and love always...Love ya...mal
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Hiya Mal dear friend... don't allow the rain or the darker evenings to get to you... I always call the rain "sea mist" also, remember, there is always the possibility that good things are just around the corner and remember the sun is always shining behind those grey clouds, we just can't always see it. Also, I know the clocks go back soon, however, I always say... "the shortest day is December 21st, and that always lifts my spirits, so hopefully it will do the same for you too. Remember too my dear friend, sometimes we are able to just make things happen for us and usually it's when we least expect it. Things are just beginning to settle down a bit here now, still some boxes to unpack, but I think most will now stay that way and go to a carboot sale in Spring!! it's amazing how much junk we store and hang onto stuff we "may use one day" so its a case of having to think rational and not hoard so much. I have been down to the beach this teatime, the sea was looking lovely with white topped waves as the wind had got up... the other evening there was the most wonderful sunset... I will send you some pics, can you email me your email address please... I have had to have a new one because I have had to get BT landline because they dont have NTL down here. I will give you my new email address in a message... take care my dear friend... megga hugs to you love Katie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Hi Katie, have emailed you love...Big hugs..mal
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I know the feeling. I posted a poem soon after joining allpoetry with the same title. I do find spending time on here on the computer has helped me a great deal. Bright sunny days even if cold are good but the never ending gray damp dismal weather we so often get in November drags my spirits down and down.
I have often said I wish I could hibernate until the spring go to bed all fat and contented in the autumn and wake all slim and eager in the spring.
Thoughts that burden the mind? in my case I think about death a lot more, my own and that of my loved ones. In my poem I wrote that autumn seemed a good time to die I still feel that way, winter too, but not spring and summer that's when I come alive ...
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Its a rum old thing this sad my friend, everything you have said I feel also. I've recently given up my horses and now I am a little lost to say the least . Autumn is one of my favourite times of year yet there are dreary days I could cheerfully scream at.LOL. bless you for stopping by ....mal
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Blowing the clouds away... tickling the sun under it's chin until it smiles it's radiant beams upon you once more. Shooshing the clock and it's teasing audible reminders that time is passing and replacing them with John Denver music for your heart to sing along to.
Hope you feel shiny again soon Mal. -
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Hi Andrew,bless you for your kindness my friend.The sun is only a cloud away....I'll put on some John Denver and blow them all away...thank you...mal
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Sounds like what I call a 'Blue day'. When nothing is actually happening, it's all in limbo, waiting and waiting and waiting. Smile, for tomorrow is bright.
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Bless you Bob, always good to see you and read your possitive words...mal
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Thanks "T" so much. Just feel like it today, maybe tomorrow the sun will have his hat on... Bless you...mal
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Im sending you huge hugs...and a bucketful of friendship....this is a wonderful write....Im sorry if this is how you feel mal....if you need a friend...come find me okay?
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