Soooo, yeah

Here we go. Always with the journals.1

You know, I have an entire drawer full of journals. I love them. I think they are pretty. I buy them with the best of intentions and then they sit there year after year until the pages grow yellow with age and eventually they become fancy scrap paper.2

It isn't like it is a new problem. I remember when I got my first diary in about the 6th grade. I had seen some picture somewhere of a girl chewing on the end of her pen while thinking about what to write in her diary. Not that I have ever been a sucker for advertising or anything, but this prompted me to buy my first diary with my ever so limited allowance.3

Like the girl in the picture, I mostly chewed on my pen while trying to figure out what the heck I was suppose to be writing in there.4

I suppose I could have just started with, "I drug my butt out of bed this morning. I took a bath. I dressed for school. I ate breakfast. I went to school where I talked too much and got caught chewing gum which I swallowed and ended up with detention anyway." 5

The problem is that I always ended up viewing my diary as something that was suppose to end up being read. I also could never convince myself that the stupid little lock and tiny key that came with a diary would actually keep any secrets safe so I could never actually write anything in there that might get me in trouble. The one time I wrote about a boy kissing me at the swimming pool when I wasn't expecting it, my mom read it and was not too approving.6

Secrets never seem to sit well on paper and who the heck would care what kind of breakfast cereal I had.7

You would think that after all this time, my life would be a bit more colorful. I suppose it would be if I wrote down all the swear words I hear in a day or something. Still my journals seem to consist of much the same pen chewing and thinking of my youth.8

Perhaps I will evolve ... or not.

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Recent Journals

  • Dear Diary
    How was your day? Mine was eh, ok. Actually I always feel pretty lame finding fault with any day. Most days above ground sucking air definately beat the alternative. Some days seem to be more meaningful than others though. Or maybe it is just that I attach more meaning to some days than others. 1 There was n
    on Oct 6 11:22 PM, 200 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Dear Diary
    It's me. I know. The memory may be a little fuzzy because I am about as consistent as. oh, say "Thing-In-A-Bag". 1 "Thing-in-a-Bag" is a cat toy. Or, depending on the cat, a pet antagonist. Someone sent us one for a Christmas present to our cats once. Yes people sometimes send Christmas presents to cats. So
    on Oct 5 12:35 PM, In Diary, First person, Random.  300 words. → Make first comment?
  • Yay Me!!
    In the words of the infamous Disney Channel character London Tipton, "YAY ME!!" 1 Yes, I am truly as old as I am and still watching kid shows on The Disney Channel.  I realize that most women my age are busy with more important TV like --insert soap here-- or truly educational TV like Daisy of Love, Rock
    on Jul 26 11:21 AM, In Whatever.  300 words. → 4 comments, Add one?
  • Entry 5
    Just do the possible. That is my goal for the day. Whatever is doable, I can do, right? How many times have I condemned myself because I felt I could not do everything perfectly? My normal reaction is if you can't do everything do nothing at all. Or worse, do just the opposite. Sometimes this mode of operation
    on Jan 23 8:15 AM, 200 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Entry 4
    Now, back to my over analization of past events that have set me on my current path of feeling not so great about myself. In reality, journalling as a tool is not about over analyzing anything or finding some magic formula that will make everything in todays world perfect. For me it is simply about getting honest a
    on Jan 22 10:59 AM, In Addiction, Recovery, Self esteem, Solutions, Spiritual growth.  800 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
  • Entry 3
    Why is it that once I know that negative thinking is attempting a slip into I life, you don't just put up a gate with a lock on it and keep it out?  Nooooooo, I seem to feed it instead. Even though I know. Even though I often recognize destructive thinking in its seed form, I still have tendency to water it and
    on Jan 21 8:51 AM, In Addiction, Recovery, Self esteem, Solutions, Spiritual growth.  700 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Entry 2
    It started in August 2008. I had been working at a Curves for a year and I had gotten in the best shape I have been in since High School. I had found a workout that was do-able and that I could continue to intensify and feel good about in just 30 minutes. For those who are not familiar, Curves is designed for wome
    on Jan 20 8:59 AM, In Addiction, Recovery, Self esteem, Solutions, Spiritual growth.  500 words. → 1 comment, Add one?