Fading

Have you ever felt like your losing everything? That its just all going to fade and you'll never have that feeling again? That those memories will just be gone for good? I dont want to lose them. Not now so what do i do? Cuz i feel like soon he is going to see that im nothing special. Im far from perfect and somehow he seems blind to that. Im scared that she is going to see that im not the best friend anyone could have she had that title claimed. I dont want to lose what i have now its just to good. So when is it going to go away? How long until my world crashes around me? Before the pain becomes the worse yet to experience? I'm waiting for it. Life cant stay this good ever, it doesn't happen like that. Looking around i see people who are so lost and i wonder how long till im there? Maybe im just paranoid but i dont want to lose him, hell i dont want to lose her or the ppl in her life right now. They have become a part of me and they are the only ones who have always been there. No matter how upset i am they can make me smile and feel better. She is there to calm me down, last night being a perfect example. Cuz i was horrid last night and she had more of a right to be then i did. She started crying and all i could do was tell her it was going to be ok...and wat does she do when i start crying, she says the same thing to get me to smile and calm down.
Can you honestly tell me im not going to lose these people ever. I want her there when im walking down all dressed in white and just there when i have kids. I want all of them to be there. idk wat to say to them to convince them to make them stay, make them see how lost i would be without them.
I have never been like this with someone. He is so sweet and its so hard to stay mad at him, i cant help me. I hate when we fight b.c i dont want to lose him. I'm waiting for it. Im trying to be careful and completely and totally failing. I want someone that can promise me forever and i want forever with him. Usually i try to not get ahead of myself not think about months from now or a year and with him i cant. I love him so much. He keeps me on my toes i never know excatly wat to say to him.
And then i look at Devon and Landon...is it possible to make a best friend in less than a months time. Is it possible to care about him as a brother and think of Landon as a nephew.
These are the 4 most important ppl in my life i dont want to lose them ever...and i dont know wat to say to make them stay here. I love you Kyle i love you so much and i know i tell you this all the time but im so scared im going to lose you to someone else. Theres a quotes that i think of when i think of you like "Your the only one who can leave me completely breathless even when there nothing but silence between us its like i can lay beside you and we not say a single thing and still i have the best time." and so many other.
I just want Kyle, Beth, Devon, and Landon to know i love you guys i dont know wat i would do without you and i never want to lose you guys not now not ever.