I Deserve Ur L♥ve

1

After you released your ↓vodka↑ smeared scars ( that proved nothing to me‼ ], pulling my attachments { to other quys ) out slowly, w| your alcohol induced ♀mind♀. Leavin MY decisions to be made ☺alone☺. well quess what. Disguises DNT work for me anymore. I caught on to your little act later, walking home. When ◄flashbacks► P.O.U.R.E.D into my ♂head♂. You P/R/O/M/I/S/E/D me ♥. You told me your >B.I.G.G.E.S.T< secret. Yet now I look back & all I See is,…..A ♀FAKE♀ fraud looking for NO-ONE to ~COMPlETE~;* him.
I Know I Could never be happy w| You. When iLOVE “him”. but those memories istill have ? I Didnt keep em on purpose, the trauma was soo big, It looks like imma be carrinq em around for awhile. You asked soo many Q’s. Yet till today iDNT have the answers. All want is the ♥, you promised me. OR was that juss an excuse you made to make that niqht even a BIGGER regret ?
I’ve seen how you handle thinqs, juss to keep holding on to em. [ But….im •NOT• a toy. Even my ex b/f knos that ‼. ) Now iReqret what coulda been even if it meant breakin the law/Rules a lil . I Wish iCould see the difference between her & me . Bt iGuess I’ll juss have to live w| that . Knowin in a few short time span, that dayy 3 yrs aqo will return ONlY to reconcile my bad habits you kno nothinq about ! Remember that day ? I Was hiqh & iRemember my exact thought(s) after I had gotten home .
Yu dont understand my emotions veryy well to consider maybe even rethinking that nite over do you ? I Was too wrapped up In my own journeyy to prepare myself for what could happen that nite. OR maybe iWas juss puttin on a front so you wouldn’t see the pain I was in . Either wayy, iWas a mess & my silence didn’t even shake you !
Now your past has come back to haunt you & you dnt even care to see its me causin the world to fall apart juss to qet back what iNever had !
IDNT LOVE you bt iWish ihad the courage to .