It started off as a normal day, me getting out of bed, scratching my butt, looking for something to eat, but then the stars fell down in my backyard, the moon took a shiny shit in my driveway, and all else that is impossible came to be possible. My neighbor was at the door with some odd request for sugar, or such. A little much excited at first of having my dream girl so close I had uncontrollable drooling, with hands shaking, and throat squeaking out all types of sounds but the right ones. Finally I got it together and let her know exactly how many times I flogged the dummy, perday, in her honor. I could see her from my kitchen window when she was in her yard gardening. My wife is sick, terminal I'm afraid, and though she could hear me from the bedroom, there was no fear of her actually getting out of the bed and coming in to kick my ass. (Really little fear of her being able to speak loud enough to be heard.) Her coming in would have been a miracle, a bad miracle in the sense she would have snuffed my chance at some strange, but good in that perhaps she wasn't terminal. Any rate, though a miracle did happen that day, it had nothing to do with my wife getting out of her bed. After I confessed my love and obsession, and pointed out the fact some pity was due me because of my wives condition, that her husband was a shit heel, and I wasn't getting any, or at least not getting any that was doing me any good, things began to warm up. It was amazing how, once over the shakes, I was able to calmly lay out my line, and reel it in. Like I said a miracle did happen, and though it wasn't on level with getting laid by the woman of my dreams, I was able to kind of win the neighbor over. She shook my hand, said she was sorry for my life, declined the sugar I offered, and, with tears in her eyes went home. Her shit heel hubby did come over later and slap me around, but that only confirmed it for me that I had made solid headway with M'lady, or else why the jealous fit from the guy? Why can't everyday be like this?
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