i remember going to skool in 8th grade every day even in the spring with long sleeves on jus to cover up the cuts i inflicted the night before, reopening the healing ones again. i hated it but yet i was addicted to it, it was like i culdnt stop it no matter how hard i tried or how far i threw that blade away it always seemed to come back and i welcomed it with open arms.
I remember having no joy in my life, being labeled as a emo because i hated the world i was against everybody in the school.
My only real friend was the blade i kept in my purse, how its deadly beauty enticed me to feel something physical instead of emotional.
The blood that ran down my arm facinated me, how cold it felt when it got out, and how fast it ran.
The cuts on my arm reminded me everyday of how ugly and stupid i was for even letting the blade lick my skin.
I knew nothing on earth could ever make me happy not ever again but i was wrong..like always.
I met my girlfriend n she changed my life around she made me want to be a better person, instead of dressing in black i was dressing in pretty colors and smiling and laughing alot and accepting the world.
i no longer hated the jocks, or the preps (as mi skool called em) i tried over again and befriend them and because of my gf im scar free. I have been for 1 year. and i thank her for that , i love her with all my heart.
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you know i remember 8th grade you sat right behing me in homeroom thats the year when we met and became firends but not really close friends yet you where always whereing long sleeves even if it was 80 outside. Once we stared becoming a little bit more of friends we all sat at that luch table singing commercials songs (good times i miss them
) we all knew cheyanne was cutting and then found out you where we all where upset about it but for some reason we all payed a litte bit more attention to chey about her cutting then we did you, and now looking back at the past i wish i was there for you like i was cheyanne i regret that i wasnt there for you the same person who ended up being my bestfriend who i really care about and i wasnt there when you where going through a hard time i really do wish i was there for you then, I'm sorry i want there for you then. but what important is that ill always be here for you now know mater what. I'm really greatfull that you met misti because shes did what the rest of us didnt do even though she wasnt the one seeing what was happing she was Always! there for you and im really glad she was, becasue i dont want to think about what would of happend if she wasnt.
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my girlfriend is the same for me
she changed my life in more ways than 1 -
i kno baby ....i love u sooooo much for everthin too....believe it or not...ur a great gf
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i find it hard to believe after everything
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this is so sad baby....but i feel so gud bc u say im the one tht made u stop n change 4 the better....tht really mkes me feel gud tht i helped u....i love u sooooo much baby
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u did everything for me and i love you for that
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