Have you ever had one of those days where you thought you just couldn't please anyone, even though you feel that you are ripping off a lot of people.
Love, that's what does it to me I think. I don't think it's 'love' itself, more the message of love and what those words have done to the matter inside my skull.
Karl hurt me so bad, but I care for him... At the same time though, I just want to y kill him because he haunted my dreams and assaulted me and made my life hell.
Then Steven was good to me and helped me through the stuff with Karl and nowt he has believed stories about me. He wasn't shifting and he was just refusing to let anyone know we were speaking and is insecure about love due to being heartbroken before and he couldn't stand the six years age gap most of the time.
Stu on the other hand has done me no wrong and this might be part of the reasons why I'm uneasy with him, as I'm not used to not being hurt or anything.
He looks after me, has stood up for me and everything. Thing is he is a lot like a brother sometimes to me yet I still 'love' him I don't know if it's just fear of the past that makes intimacy hard.
I still have feelings for Steven though, as I think of him a lot. I still miss Karl though he was horrible.
Life is strange I guess. So any other guys who want to ask me out or something similar, I wouldn't. Considering have this already.
Urgh Dan still getting on my nerves, can't believe he blamed me about the weekend.
Oh well, it's 5am here nearly so will go and make breakfast.
Just trying this thing out. Best wishes all anyone leave a comment. x
Stef
