Dear Catie

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Dear Catie,2

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I know you wonder if everyone thinks the way you do
if they dream the way you do
and when you get older, you will realize that it doesn't matter
You are meant to be something special
something bigger than mom and dad
and you will only have yourself to trust in, completely
You will always live inside this world
that you have created at the age of two.
Your bed a stage and the stuffed animals, including the scarey monkey
with the long arms and legs dangling from the top shelf, your audience.4

Remember that white and pink striped, thousand-page diary
nana gave you when you were seven?
Don't let anyone read it, no matter how much older,
and cooler the girls, on the bus, seem
No matter how much you want to fit in
No matter how much you want to be as pretty and popular as they are,
They will only destroy the little dignity and possible talent
that I wish I could read today.
(I guess it will save you the embarressment, as well.)  5

You will move a lot; away from dad. 6

You don't know this yet, and I know you think it's cruel,
but mom is only trying her best to protect you, Eric, and herself.
Just bare with it and try to understand.
She is doing her best and she is hurting too. 7

Speaking of moving a lot, a bit of warning, when you move to Duncanon
You are going to be sick for a good year. There is nothing you can do about it.8

In the same year, mom is going to move us to a new boyfriend's house.
Luckily, you will stay at the neighbor's house every night
because they don't have room for you or Eric at his house
(well, actually, it's his mother's dumpy trailer)
Don't take anything this asshole says to heart. and just because you live in a trailer, doesn't mean you are dirty, trailer-trash. Don't listen to the kids at school or the teachers. At this point, it is one of the toughest times in your childhood but you get through it.
Just stick by Sandy and Benny. They have a pet racoon! 9

After that, you will eventually move to Newport with your mom's future Fiance. I know you are going to think highly of him
and be happy for the first few weeks. but anything compared to Duncanon is going to be like heaven! but whatever you do, Do Not Trust Him! He is not your friend and he is going to try to make you think that. 10

Also, stay away from John, the neighborhood drunk. You can't change or save everyone, Catie! Especially at the age of eight.
In fact, stay away from everyone on the other side of the trailer park. That will save you a lot of trouble and maybe some damage.
oh, and by the way, you are not a 'cry baby' or a 'pissy pants' (yeah, I know, vulgar)
Your just sensitive. You will be a very strong person after all of this is over. Plus, mom will let you tell a grown-up that she is an ignorant bitch! and it will be one of the few time's mom will stand up for you and get into a fight with the rotten bitch for calling you names. 11

Not everyone is going to like you. That is just something you are going to have to get over. It Doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Just don't waste your time with people who don't even give you a chance.
They are not worth your time and effort either. 12

You will do an exceptional job, being the kind of big sister Eric needs.
I know you think he's gay, and you'll find out, later, you were right.
but things are not going to be exactly the way you thought when he finally does come out. It's going to be tough because as much as you think he tells you everything, he doesn't. He fears his life and it's very important that when he is seven, the next time you stay at Uncle Papo's house to stay up all night and keep a good eye on your little brother. He is in great danger and he will never be the same again. 13