Harriet

Missing image
HARRIET1

I couldn’t have been more than seven or eight years old when I first laid eyes on Harriet. She, however, never quite saw me. Instantly, and forever more, she established the criteria for what it took to set The Heart Throb in motion. One might have termed it "crush at first sight." But although the crush was not unique to me, (there were others) from what I can recall of my fever case, a few degrees of heat lingered for a mere fifty years. Or to keep the metaphor consistent, this “crush” left traces in my system of several reverberating aftershocks over time.2

The neatly clad and astonishing little redhead graced our fourth grade classroom long enough to chronically distract me from more serious pursuits, like schoolwork. Assembling in the schoolyard, lining up, entering class, sitting down, reciting or performing in any way became little more than exercises in watching for Harriet, standing tall before her, trying to catch her attention, seeking out her approval. None of it seemed to work and too many days were spent gawking at her and freezing, motionless, into a disembodied heartbeat each time she talked, gestured or entered a room. I can still see her blue eyes.3

It was on a late spring day, deceptively like summer and tantalizingly so, that I was moved to action. Joyce Roth was one of the higher intellects in our class, though not on the Harriet heart throb level, and one of Harriet’s better friends. Moreover she was amicable, understanding and approachable. So I approached Joyce. Did she think Harriet liked me? Would she find out? The day was torn by my impatience and laced with anticipation. Periodically I scanned Joyce’s aisle for a sign, sought encouragement at recess, passed reminder notes when possible. But Joyce was responsible and not likely to forget to inquire on my behalf. She was to meet me after school at three o’clock, at the school’s south exit on West 173rd street.4

The day was still beautiful and the weather warm but I was warmer and did not share in the day’s tranquility. In fact what little remained of that afternoon was to become an indelible pain and disappointment. There was Joyce, waiting. My heart leapt. I approached her.5

“Does Harriet like me?”6

“No. Harriet says she doesn’t like you.”7

“Why?” I asked, clinging to some hope for specious reasons that I might use to cushion my decimation.8

“She says your ears stick out.”9

Devastated beyond ruin and somewhat numbed by this new revelation, I hurried home to investigate the matter further. Dashing upstairs I took a position before my mother’s full length mirror. Standing close to it I scrutinized my ears, staring at them and examining the distance at which they stood out from my head. They seemed alright and not particularly alien, although the longer I contemplated the protrusions the stranger they became. It was at that point my mother came into the room.10

“What are you doing, dear?” she asked.11

“Do my ears stick out?” I moaned, anxious now for this final pronouncement, one that would hopefully mollify and rightfully spurn the derision I had suffered. A mother’s inviolable truth. 12

“Well,” she said, “just a little, dear.” Alas, she was too truthful.13

So the remainder of fourth grade passed as I shrunk from Harriet and could only stare longingly, but from safe distances, at her, hoping with the coming and going of the summer months that I might grow taller and stronger and that my ears might somehow retreat closer to the sides of my head.14

It was a little more than a year later I awoke one Sunday morning with the brilliant idea of dressing and sneaking out of our apartment at the outrageously early hour, for me, of nine o’clock. I dressed carefully in what I thought were my most dashing clothes. The jersey was a tight one, showing off what semblance of a build I had; my trousers were creased; my jacket was Air Force Bomber style with manly shoulders. My mission was to traverse J.Hood Wright Park on 176th street and Pinehurst Avenue to emerge on Fort Washington Avenue at 173rd street, just a few short blocks from where Harriet and her family lived. 15

I made my way briskly up to Pinehurst Avenue from Cabrini Boulevard and over to the park entrance ramp at 176th street. There I paused, my heart beating strongly in anticipation, as I bravely surveyed the park beyond. Hannibal before the Alps. The great Sunday morning adventure lay ahead. I was ready. 16

With the somewhat soothing consolation of “what could happen?” I forged ahead, traversing the park. What were the chances, I speculated, of my catching a glimpse of her? What were the chances of her being up at this hour? Of her going out? Of her seeing me? What were the chances of her noticing me…if she was up, if she did go out, if she did see me? Despite all odds, I pressed on, slicing through doubt and fear, marshalling hope, mobilizing energies, mustering determination, cutting through the early morning freshness and chill as I half hoped I somehow would miss her altogether. 17

Emerging, somewhat more slowly and cautiously than I had when I entered the park, I looked about as if all of Fort Washington Avenue had been alerted to my arrival. I felt as though I were something of an intruder in the neighborhood. It was really a bit distant from my own. Yes, I attended school here, but not as a resident with a support group of friends and neighbors. Essentially I was a foreigner. Hands in jacket pocket I whistled my way toward Harriet’s apartment building at 250 Fort Washington Avenue. Even the number of her address was tinged with romance, excitement, adventure and danger. I waited.18

And I waited. At first I waited from across the street. Then, as the morning wore on, from in front of the building, before the short flight of steps. At one point, I can remember going up and inside the lobby. Perhaps that might draw her out. It did not. Others came and went. People looked at the young boy and may have wondered what the stranger was doing. For whom he waited. Each outward thrust of the heavy wrought iron and glass lobby door gave a start, blowing a little hope my way from the darkish lobby, ushering forth the chance, the possibility of the morning’s adventure bearing some fruit. I waited the morning away until I got cold and tired. She never came down. 19

Shortly following the start of what then was known as Junior High School, Harriet moved away, somewhere in or near an area called Forest Hills. I spent the next five years or so not thinking of her. 20

Somewhere ankle deep into my sophomore year in college, while leafing through an old address book on a particularly desperate date-deprived Saturday evening, I found her name. I cannot imagine how I came to procure her Forest Hills telephone number, but there it was. I studied it. I contemplated it. I dismissed it. I allowed it to challenge me. I let it simmer. 21

I suppose I was feeling lots better about myself during these college days than I had during my younger days at P.S. 173. After all, I was president of my sophomore class now, Grand Regent of my fraternity, I had succeeded in achieving a surprisingly good first year index, I had enjoyed a role, although a minor one, in a campus theater production, and, or so I thought, my ears didn’t stick out…as much anyway. Not noticeably. So I called her number. And my voice had deepened. After several rings Harriet answered the phone. I still recognized her voice. It had a kind of clipped sneer to it. 22

“Hi,” I began cleverly. “You may not remember me. Gary…from your fourth, fifth and sixth grade class in P.S. 173?”23

“I’m afraid not,” she said. There was no hesitation, no doubt in her voice. Same clipped, sneer.24

“I lived in Joanie Miller’s building on Cabrini Boulevard? I was Joyce Roth’s friend.” Joan Miller was a good friend of hers. She sometimes visited Joanie. I had lived for those rare afternoons.25

“Look, it’s been a long time, and I really don’t remember you at all.”26

Well, it really hadn’t been that long a time and those were very formative years for all of us. I thought we had been kind of an item; at least so far as classmates’ teasing and rumors counted. I couldn’t believe her not remembering at all.27

“And Evelyn Strawlberg? Don’t you remember the time someone stole your blouse at Evelyn Strawlberg’s house at that little costume party and you had to leave in a borrowed pea coat?”28

“I’m sorry,” she clipped out, “I don’t remember any of this. And I really don’t have time to talk. I’m going out.”29

“You once said my ears stuck out.”30

And she hung up. 31

It took me awhile to forget that conversation and awhile to regain some of the old sophomore confidence. I did not, however, risk another phone call to Harriet.32

Some years passed and I found myself broadcasting on a 50,000 watt radio station in Boston, Massachusetts. I was performing an afternoon program, spinning records and telling little stories. One of these vignettes was about Harriet. It may have been the Joyce Roth debacle or the try at getting a dinner date disaster. I always ended my programs with the humble phrase: “I await your phone calls in the outer lobby.” No sooner had I uttered this phrase and signed off, I was informed that I indeed had a call…in the outer lobby.33

The call was from a guy I didn’t know. Nor did the guy know me. But he had been listening to the show as he was driving across Massachusetts into Boston. He had heard the Harriet anecdote and said he almost drove off the road. It seems his brother, he told me, was engaged to Harriet but he, the caller, had been infatuated with her. “Who wasn’t?” he said. “And,” he confided, “I knew exactly what you meant when you described her. What a bitch!”34

When I left Boston for New York, I was in my thirties and found myself running into people I had known years ago. They were mostly school chums from Washington Heights, some High School of Music and Art people and even college pals. It was not unusual since everybody, at one time or another seems to gravitate to New York City. But, as I told an old friend of mine: “Funny. I never ran into Harriet.”35

When I nostalgically confessed this, my friend counseled “You can’t go home again!” and advised me to hope I never see Harriet because I would be sure to be deeply disappointed. “Better,” he said, “to remember her as she was. That little redheaded beauty with the sharp blue eyes. By now,” he added sagely, “she is probably fat, old and dumpy. You had best stay with your fantasies.”36

More and more of my time was taken with freelance narration work, which afforded me some freedom and took me far and wide during the course of a week. At one point I contracted for a series of jobs in Douglaston, Queens. It was a bit of a trek, but I always harbored the thought of possibly running into Harriet, serendipitously, against the odds, despite my friend’s admonition.37

Then, one day, it happened. I was taken completely by surprise. Ascending a long flight of stairs at New York’s Penn Station, tired and on my way home from an arduous day in Douglaston, I noticed a comely redhead some several steps ahead of me. She was dressed in a neat topper just short enough to sport a shapely pair of legs. She was one of the few women in heels, a conservative pair of black pumps, and walked with a confident, unhurried pace. It couldn’t be, I thought, but the closer I drew to her the more this vision seemed to fit my expectations of what Harriet might look like now. She appeared, from the back, to be about the same age and height, as far as my recollections went. My scheme was to cunningly dash ahead and check her from the front. Surely, however, the entire effort rested on a wishful thought that I was mistaken. 38

Only a few smoothly executed steps taken two and three at a time and I had arrived well in front of the woman. Artfully I turned about and saw her face. It was her! But she didn’t appear as my friend had predicted. She wasn’t old, or fat or unrecognizably smothered by the years. She was lovely, radiant and she sparkled, beyond expectations. Predictions were wrong. And now, in point of actual fact, it had happened. The law of averages had worked out. There she was, walking toward me.39

Feigning surprise with just the right measure of confusion, and hoping to dazzle her with my flawless memory for faces and names I said:40

“Harriet? Harriet Sinje?”41

She smiled a kind, soft and very sweet smile. Encouraging my advance she said, “Thank you.” But then she added, “I wish I looked like Harriet.”42

My dismay must have been apparent. She continued, “A lot of people mistake me for Harriet, but I’m not her.”43

“You look exactly like her,” I said, shock and incredulity still on my sleeve. “I went to public school with her.” 44

“She’s changed since then,” said the redhead. “She’s become a lot more beautiful. People stop me all the time and take me for her, but I only wish I looked like her.”45

We chatted a bit about where Harriet lived now, far out on Long Island. That she was married. Her extraordinary looks. I thanked the woman. She walked off. 46

I never saw Harriet after that and I had not been to Douglaston for more than twenty years. Not that I was planning on it, but I did wonder, if I ever ventured out Queens way, what the odds would be of bumping into the real Harriet after so many years. After all, I had run into just about everyone else. More or less, mostly more I suppose, it may indeed have been statistically about time perhaps for just one sighting. Of course my friend had advised against it. But he was wrong. And don’t they say something about hope springing eternal? I hoped, on the one hand, that my luck would hold and I would never run into Harriet again. On the other hand, I thought, maybe one of these days…who knows? What would be the chances? The odds?47

Author notes

This is a short story about one man's dream...; it tells of the connections between disappointment, destruction and defeat...and hope. Always, hope!
Gary Alexander

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

100 - 180 of 180     < previous  1 2

  • bird-mad girl
    August 22, 2008

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    I really liked the descriptions in this piece. They were added in tastefully and gave the reader flavored imagery throughout the story.

    I also really dug the fact that this piece was stretched over a period of time. It gave a great opportunity to create real history for the characters and watch them develop from childhood to adulthood.

    This was a really touching story.


  • Oddems.
    August 21, 2008

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    This piece was well written and it really caught my attention. You did a wonderful job with wording and emotions. You're a great writer - good job!


  • The Ruined
    August 9, 2008
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    This deserves to be a grat novel
    ITS EXCELLENT

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • September Daydreams
    August 8, 2008

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    I decided to read "Harriet " when i saw it at featured stories so decided to give a look.It's nice ,quite interesting.There's always a Harriet in sb's life so i think the topic is universal.I guess we all have searched for "Harriet",tried to distinguish here from the crowd and let her know that he remeber her.Somebody said your style is simple,but i guess when it comes to things like that it has to be simple .Honestly was a bit surprised about that other woman that looked like Harriet.
    And this story is a bit send,it gets me is a gloomy mood.
    Wish you luck!


  • Valkyrie silver member
    August 6, 2008

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    This story went somewhere totally else from where I thought it would go when I started. So yay for being pleasantly surprised!
    Your writing style was very easy to get into and enjoy. I think many people carry vivid impressions of their first loves throughout life. I know I do. I guess it will never totally fade away; thanks for the forecast of hope!


  • Much-Dipstick
    August 6, 2008

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    Brilliant! Highly entertaining, and superbly written. I found perhaps the beginning slightly awkward and hard to get into because of the complex language, but perhaps that's just because it's late here. You have a very nice style, complex enough to make me think but simple enough so I don't lose interest. Very nice and amusing, and I like the way it was told over such a long period of time. Superb. I very much enjoyed this, it was humorous and pleasant to read, as well as relaxing. Thank you!


  • Sunless Spirit
    August 6, 2008

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    Classic


  • Blackwings
    August 5, 2008

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    This was cute! At first I really liked the fact that Gary and Harriet started out together but Harriet turned out to be so mean Gary, on the other hand did turn into kind of a stalker when he went looking for her. XD But all in all this was very cute I really liked the detail and the feelings that seem to appear in this. You feel his dissappiontment, enbarassment and his infatuation with her. Just one line bothered me and I know I'm obbsessive XD It's the one sentence in paragraph 19 the seventh sentence; "People looked at the young boy and may have wondered what the stranger was doing. For whom he waited." Check the perspective on it because it's all told from the character's point-of-veiw. All in all that's the only thing I found ^.^ Nicely done and thank you soo much for entering my contest! ^.^
    ♥ Blackwings


  • Naive.
    August 4, 2008

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    I really enjoyed this. It was so simple. Just a simple, good story. It wasn't overdramatic or full of cliches, and was still romantic. I like the message of hope in it. =] Was really bitter sweet.

    Thanks for entering and good luck.

    -jj


  • Aaez
    July 9, 2008

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    Awwww!!
    This story is cute. And sad at the same time.
    The forth grade thing made me squeal!
    It's written so beautifully and so smoothly.
    I love it!
    I JUST LOVE IT!


  • gezza gold member
    July 4, 2008

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    Another very nice piece Gary.  The autobiographical influence - the nostalgia - is effervescent! And yes, it is all about hope. I find little fault in the story, and what there is, is just a polishing issue to move it from sparkling to brilliant. Below are some suggestions or pointers with regard to grammar, choice of words and style (noting that a few of these are not strongly put to you - just thoughts on my part).

    para 2 - I love your first sentence - but here's a thought... Have you thought of employing the pregnant pause (the comic's pause): "..long enough to chronically distract me from more serious pursuits... like schoolwork."? I haven't used the ellipsis for this purpose much in my writing, but in my view it is a worthy effect in the right place.

    para 3 - "Periodically I scanned Joyce’s aisle for a sign" - a minor suggestion, and only a matter of my preferred style: "I periodically scanned..."

    para 4 - "In fact what little remained of that afternoon was an indelible pain and disappointment" - perhaps "would become an indelible..."

    para 9 - "all right" should be "alright".

    para 13 - a long sentence in there... but as I have said in other critiques, the humourous style often can be augmented by zig-zag sentences. It reads... I leave the thought with you without further 'judgement'.

    para 14 - sentence 3 - inconsistent use of commas and semicolons. Suggest making clothing references separated by semicolons consistently.

    para 20 - "date deprived" could be hyphenated - easier for the reader to quickly get in flow.

    para 21 - "these" probably should be "those college days" since it is still looking afar. That second sentence is definitely too long - also the use of commas aren't breaking the switches in direction effectively.

    para 31 - "a while" should be "awhile"? Possibly in two places?  Not sure about this one.

    para 33 - "“Who wasn’t,” he said?" I think the question mark should be at "wasn't" and perhaps "said" isn't quite the right pitch for this sentence -  perhaps "opined"?

    para 34 - first sentence - comma not needed.

    para 37 - "She was one of the few women in heels," isn't quite complete - me being pedantic again - perhaps "She was one of the few women in heels there,". "same age and height" sort of in the same category - perhaps "the right age and height".

    para 44 - "looked like she does" sounds not quite right... "looked like her"?

    para 46 - don't need a comma after "did wonder". Semi-colon after suppose, instead of a comma.

    Hope I got the para numbers right, as they weren't there. Again, a great read!


    • Gary Alexander silver member
      July 5, 2008
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      Again, Geeza, some wonderful comments, edits and catches. Proving once again...!
      I followed your clever suggestions for most...and had reasons for leaving a few alone...as they were. We can discuss those at length. (When I have a larger piece of paper!)
      Thanks again. Much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time and thought...and applying your considerable skill!
      GA

      • gezza gold member
        July 5, 2008
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        no problemo Gary. I never give comments (other than typos and other obvious stuff) with the view that I believe they HAVE to be accepted. There is always a dimension of subjectivity. Happy to discuss such matters... as always.


  • imagist
    July 4, 2008
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    this was great, but I cant help but wonder who the mistaken girl was.


  • Violet15
    July 3, 2008
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    As always you've once again written a cute little story. Keep it going.


  • Elisabeth gold member
    June 11, 2008

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    A gentle and poignant trip back to the feelings of a young boy with his first infatuation; seen through the eyes and heart of the man he became. Beautifully written.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • deepak-maini
    June 10, 2008

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    I like it. You know the craft. Well done.


  • Anya Rose
    June 10, 2008

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    Awwww!

    This was cute, and a little sad. You brought back memories of crushes from elementary school (which truthfully wasn't that long ago for me).

    Anyway, you did a great job!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • ariane faire
    June 9, 2008

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    an ode to elementary crushes

    i loved it. just out of curiousity, did he ever see that one woman who he thought was harriet again? that would have been a cute ending.

    beginning: 3, ending: 3, characters: 3.


  • Yoko
    June 8, 2008
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    That was wonderful. Harriet said his ears stuck out. Man, that is so disapointing. Nice ending. He mistaken a girl for Harriet. Keep writng. Hehe, mew!


  • Tiger-Lily
    May 31, 2008

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    I'm guessing Option 10? Do put the option in your notes, please. Makes it a hell of a lot easier on me.

    This is a very relatable story, as uncle RJ says below. Bravo for that!

    I can see clearly how your story follow the prompt.Very good.

    Good luck and thanks for entering.

    HT


  • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ
    May 18, 2008

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    This is why I read a Gary Alexander story. It never fails to surprise and impress me. Once again, a great job.
    I reckon many people can relate to this man's story, and how their first crush still lingers on in their minds .... I know exactly the feeling you depict in your usual thought-provoking way - but, like Jack, I did marry her.
    Thanks for the wonderful read, mate, and keep up the good work.

    RJ


  • DeadlyTurnip
    February 24, 2008

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    Wow this was really interesting. Really really relatable, I enjoyed the read a lot. I wonder if his ears were still sticking out at the end...*thinks*


  • J.R. Coleman
    February 23, 2008

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    Captivating! I loved the plot, kept my interest from beginning to end and was a classic in the making!


  • Ghost of a Siren
    February 22, 2008

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    I thought I would give your stuff another glance since my last comment was so rude. Well, anyways I enjoyed this story a lot though I have to say that I felt bad for the guy.

  • Vannessa1993
    February 20, 2008
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    i like it although i dont really get time to read it all as i am in school

    beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 1.


  • Viola.King
    February 19, 2008

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    Captivating

    This is adorable. I love the characters, and it's amazingly well-written, as always. Beyond my congratulations, there really isn't much else to say, except I hope I come across more of your writing in the future!

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.


  • Kat222
    February 19, 2008

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    who can't relate to this one? you described his infatuation beautifully. i enjoyed it it was very well written great job!


  • Dorothy Baum
    February 16, 2008

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    A good story...

    I read this piece while not in the most of an alert state, but I felt if I put off reading this story (at your insistence) I may have never read it. I hope you won't regret my critique.

    I found some of the wording a bit pretentious, definitely not something a person with a short vocabulary should or would read.

    The crush on Harriet struck me more as an "on again, off again" obsession. Why would any man allow himself to become embroiled with one female, who shows nothing short of disdain for him, for so long, I find baffling. Meh, maybe I am just stereo-typing as a whole. I'll be bluntly honest here, I got bored after a bit.

    Still, it was well constructed story. And that, my friend is my two cents.


  • Amicus2K9
    February 13, 2008

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    Delightful...from beginning to end!

    Universal indeed. There are special creatures, such as Harriet, that seem somehow placed by the Gods to tease and tantalized we mere mortals in our search for fulfillment and you keyed upon one and struck a chord with your many readers and they surely hummed right along in tune, a wonderful feeling, is it not?

    At the insistence of a pertinent little vixen, here on the site, who sent me to the woodshed over my previous remarks to you, and your own attempts to ameliorate my earlier rudeness(there was an underlying motive, I did follow your suggestion and happily met Harriet and cohorts.

    However, not being truly a boor for just the purpose of being such, I want to refer to the overall writing style of the first portion of this story.

    On one hand I was reminded of the intellectual snobbery I referred to before, the over use of six dollars words and sophisticated descriptions you chose to use.

    I was reminded of two things, the F.Scott Fitzgerald era of detached sophistication in story telling, with the narrator above and beyond the common fray, expressing disdain for the mundane and waxing eloquently about all things fine and debonair as the masses milled about.

    Secondly, if you are familiar with the now classic, Christmas Story, with Daren McGavin, the little boy with the bar of soap, cold iron post and Red Ryder air rifle and if you recall the hubris of the narrator in that story, I was somewhat reminded of that while reading the first half of your story.

    But then, it seemed to me,you dropped the facade and the pretense and got down to real storytelling, with just an occasional sophisticated word dropping for flavor, which I found perfectly acceptable.

    You may chalk it up to simple stylistic preferences between writers and you would be close to correct, as I am somewhat of a minimalist when it comes to descriptions and conceptual abstractions in my fiction. I try to speak in the language of how I perceive the readers is familiar and comfortable with and that always gives me a Hallmarkian aura and perhaps, simplistic in the eyes of some.

    A wonderful plot line, well conceived and crafted and artfully presented.

    A pleasure to read and contemplate.

    Thank you.

    Regards...

    Amicus....



  • CactusJack silver member
    February 12, 2008

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    I don't say this often but this was one of the smoothest reads I've come across. It was like a short story in a collection book @ Barnes & Noble. Sadly, like most boys that age, I can relate to his feelings. Luckily for me my 'Harriet' came along in high school...and I married her!
    Wonderful piece, glad I stumbled across it!

    Jack


  • DylanBranson
    February 12, 2008

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    Excellent Piece.

    This piece really reminded me alot of myself back in the fourth grade. I had one of those girls, the girl who lived down the street from my grandparents who was my best friend from first grade to fourth grade. After that we ended up losing contact with each other, but i still see her from time to time. Great piece.


  • hiGh-on-happYness
    February 11, 2008

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    That is so... amazing. All I can say. Took my breath away and made me smile like never before. Such a cute, realistic, story.
    Love it.
    <333
    Lily

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • AllOuta
    February 11, 2008

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    As Scott said, everyone has a story like this once you are old enough to get over yourself and actually FEEL something more than just lust. His name is Jeff Hamilton. I was lucky enough that he felt that way for a bit too, though we've not spoken in at least 10 years. You told this spill is such rare clarity that it speaks deeply and quite honestly. Thanks for the chance to remember and hope... at least for a little while. I want you to take these claps and times them by like 10 okay, GA?


  • cognitivedistortion
    February 11, 2008

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    For a long time I was worried that the guy I thought I was in love with was just a crush, especially since I wasn't the only girl after him. It took awhile of being around him before I realized I really was in love. Fortunately for me though, he felt the same way. One day he stopped showing up, and I never saw him again.
    Sorry I'm spilling my personal life on you, your story just reminded me of him. I guess thats one of the signs of a good story. ...I admit I still hope I'll run into him again by some freak chance. I'm doing it again. Anyway, it was a very well written story, and I really enjoyed it. The language was diverse, but I didn't need a dictionary to find out what any of it meant. I can't find anything wrong with it.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Ja Vorbesc
    February 11, 2008
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    Nice story. and there's always some kind of hope,whether it's false or not.


  • Krazy Scott
    February 10, 2008

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    *cries* No, just kidding. Mine was named Allison Barry, a lovely girl that had a shy dipostion and a mean jump shot. I lost track of her when she went to college at NC State, but still find her face drifting through my thoughts ever so often, usually when I least expect it. She had a great laugh, like bells ringing.

    And this story put her face all in my mind, brother. What a bleeping great read this was. I think eveyrone has a story like this, but most of us couldn't tell it so wonderfully as you did. Exceptional!


  • Aesca
    February 6, 2008

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    Favorite part:
    “Does Harriet like me?”
    “No. Harriet says she doesn’t like you.”
    “Why?” I asked, clinging to some hope for specious reasons that I might use to cushion my decimation
    “She says your ears stick out.”

    Ah, the logic of fourth graders. As simple as that. I obviously haven't lived long enough to have quite this type of experience, nor have I ever been infatuated in that way, but I know how things can change from what you remember. I have this distinct memory of my old house in Utah from when I was about four. We had this huge room; it was enormous. I got the chance to go back last year, but I turned it down...I know that it would completely disappoint my expectaions and ruin my memory.


  • claudia6662
    December 13, 2007

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    Crushes are somewhat crazy, you never forget your first, infactuations that mingle with your head. I loved it gary, every single word!xxxx

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • alexandriasyretta
    December 12, 2007
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    beautiful i like it so what if ur ears stick out


  • jenni-veev
    November 5, 2007

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    :]

    So i really enjoyed this story. I thought that 4th grade was maybe a little to young to start an infatuation. most boys that age still think that girls have coodies, but then again this story gave me the urge to look up my childhood sweetheart, who also moved away. Over all i love the way you write its detailed but not so detailed that the reader loses interest. I felt this sentence was out of place 'I can still see her blue eyes.' to me it seemed like it was just tacked on to the end of that paragraph. I would either get rid of it or stick it inside the paragraph.
    Over all amazing writing.
    -Jenni-veev


  • Miss South Carolina
    November 4, 2007
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    I really like this story good job, its funny my mom's name is harriet, that's why i clicked on it

  • Lou Berg
    October 27, 2007

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    Excellent story

    Excellent story.

    I guess most of us have a crush somewhere in our past.

    The further back in the past, the more beautiful and desirable she was.

    You are in a way lucky. Not having met her and hearing from her friend how well she looks, you can preserve the memory, unblemished by reality.

    I enjoyed your story.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • xhappyxrainbowsx
    September 10, 2007

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    "Or to keep the metaphor consistent, my “crush” left traces in my system of several reverberating aftershocks over time."

    Loooove this line.

    “She says your ears stick out.”

    This made me laugh!

    GORGEOUS story, as usual, GA. I hate leaving you comments because I honestly can't find anything to critique.

    Harriet sounds like a girl I'd crush on, too. I always go for the straight bitchy ones!

    Keep writing!!!

    Sky


  • boxOFjuice
    September 3, 2007

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    You ears stick out?! XD Lol. That cracked me up!! Did this really happened to you? O.O

    A crush...I only had two. I DID saw my first crush after 4 years. He CHANGED a lot!! VERY dissapointing. ^_^; Didn't expect him to be the sort of boy who goes around with dog collars around his neck. No longer the innocent 12 year old that I knew.

    ^_^ Awesome as always. Its perfect.


  • Andrew Timothy
    August 18, 2007

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    (Quick note: I think you may have entered the wrong story into the Best Humor contest. I went into Story Write Oscars and found that the nominated one was Mort of Magic.)

    I'm glad I had a chance to read this though, a wonderful tale of man's hope and long-time crush. It's just so believable, as with all your works, that it is SO hard to believe it is fiction (this has been said before, lol).

    Truly, great job.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      August 18, 2007
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      Fiction? What would be the odds?

      Glad you liked this...and you know what they say...Art imitates life! Sometimes, you can't quite make all this stuff up! I contrive very little!


    • Andrew Timothy
      August 18, 2007
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      And I just found that you had commented about Mort of Magic on the Contest page... And, now I feel dumb...


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    August 18, 2007

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    Lovely theme with a delightful narrator.

    Instantly, and forever more, she established the criteria for what it took to set (The Heart Thro in motion. JMHO but shouldn’t that be “The Heart Throb” or this Heart Throb.

    The neatly clad and astonishing little redhead graced our fourth grade classroom long enough to chronically distract me from more serious pursuits, like schoolwork. LOL (now where were you when I was that, mayonnaise-faced, catsup-head?)

    “She says your ears stick out.” YES! LOL I just knew something like that was due.

    When I nostalgically confessed this, my friend counseled (missing comma) “You can’t go home again!”

    The trip you took us on from a first crush of a little boy, throughout a lifetime with a memory always lingering, came across clearly. There were points of humor; times we laughed at the child or smiled in sympathy at the younger man then empathized with the adult. Not being a male, I find the idea of carrying an unrelenting love in my heart forever rather daunting. But it is a beautiful concept and nicely expressed in this story.

    Query? Did you ever date her? Noisy me. Grin
    Geri

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Siby Anan
    August 18, 2007
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    But, I must ask you, what the humor was in this story and plot? I did sort of find it funny that Harriet said his ears stuck out and I thought maybe he would go emo on us but..hehe that didn't happen ^^

  • Siby Anan
    August 18, 2007

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    Funny how he kept thinking about her after so many years! True love really does carry on, doesn't it? You portrayed that well. Very great work you did here!


  • RedHearts
    August 18, 2007

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    I loved it. we always live on hope that someday our special person will fall in love with us(if not already in love). Hope is all that we have. good job!


  • Frozen Angel
    August 17, 2007

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    I like your writing style and the plot. However, I struggle to find the humor in this piece of writing. The only parts that struck me as funny is when the girl simply told the boy "Harriet doesn't like you because your ears stick out." I was thinking "Oh, way to build his confidence up!" and when he was standing in front of the mirror and asking his mom.

    I still think you did a fantastic job and good luck in the contest!

    *Frozen Angel*


  • Sensual Sapphire
    August 9, 2007

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    This is truer than one might think.

    Not the specifics of the piece but the bits and pieces. I ran into the man I'm now with after school three times before we got together. He had a thing for me the way your character had a thing for Harriet. Maybe he should try once more.
    This has a real quality to it. I know that it is fiction but it is the sort that has so much of a base in truth it makes it hard to remember that it IS fiction. Those stories always leave the reader with something.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      August 9, 2007
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      What are the ODDS?

      I hope you liked it...hope it left YOU with something. And...hey...it could have been truth? I mean...what are the chances? What are the odds!?
      (lol)


  • playjazz67
    August 7, 2007

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    Execellent

    It can never be quite certain in cases such as these; is it love or captivation. Drawn back to that flame over and over, even though the wings are crisp on the edges from the last encounters.
    Yes, your heart beat true and how well it has been written. Thank you for sharing.
    Jim

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      August 7, 2007
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      I JUST HAD TO SHARE...

      Thanks for reading H. After reading your piece, I just had to have you stop here...if for no other reason than for you to know...YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Thanks for the kind words...I'm sure you enjoyed the story,(I hope) bittersweet though it may have been! But isn't life?


  • six of diamonds
    July 30, 2007

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    First paragraph grabs my interest, but instead of caps for The Heart Throb...maybe,"", same with "crush" (or italics, but you have to have silver I think to get those...)Something ill about the punctuation in the last two sentences of paragraph 1...heart-throb?, higher intellects seemed too complicated a phrase for this tone of remembrance, In fact what little remained of that afternoon was an indelible pain and disappointment.-->In fact, what little remained of that afternoon was to be remembered only as a sense of indelible pain and disappointment, specious reasons!!! too much! remember you are older telling the story, but remembering a kids memories, not devastated beyond ruin...(understanding?)
    full-length, alright?,spurn=scorn (I think that is the phrase you're looking for)
    safe distances, at her (no comma needed)
    retreat closer to the sides of my head.--> that is too funny!!,later I awoke--> that I awoke,and I bravely surveyed, VERY NICE -->I speculated, of my catching a glimpse of her? What were the chances of her being up at this hour? Of her going out? Of her seeing me? What were the chances of her noticing me…if she was up, if she did go out, if she did see me?with a support group--> did you mean without?With my hands in my pockets I whistledgave a start--> gave me a start
    I spent the next five years or so not thinking of her. (I would only keep this if you mean it sarcastically, rather than if you are just honestly saying you didn't think of her) If you honestly didn't then you could delete and then open the next sentence with five years later or some other way to note the passage of time (like dating age, college)The whole next paragraph starting "Somewhere ankle deep" is great!
    clipped, sneer (No comma needed)
    not remembering at all.--> me at all.
    peacoat, High School of Music and Art-->awkward with capitalization, Love the ending,missing the words me, my and that in many places throughout. beginning is rough, end is pretty polished. generally I like it a lot, it's good. If you edit it let me know and I'll give it another read through~Six

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      July 30, 2007
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      Boy oh Boy!

      I might just say, having attended the High School of Music and Art...this is the way it has always been written to my knowledge...it would be sacrilege to lower case the music and the art!
      On "support group" what I wrote is what I meant. The kid felt as a foreigner...yes, as a resident with NO support group, but he is saying he was NOT a resident WITH a support group. Ah, well!
      Much of the rest is well taken, particularly the vocabulary of the child ("higher intellects"..."specious" etc.) but my narrator is not just the child. It is the sum total of the boys/teen/adults who experienced and recalled this syren! One further justification: I AM a narrator and story-teller...and I read this to various groups. I partially wrote it with its SOUNDS in mind. That's why the strange words. They seemed to fit in the reading...so I kept them. I guess, with a wink and a nod I kept ducking in and out of chronological character.The reaction was more than I'd hoped for. But you are right, essentially. Thanks. (You have a good ear!)
      GA


  • Kelander
    July 7, 2007

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    Excellent story line, very real and believable. The pain of growing up, the sadness of reality and hope springing eternally.
    Very well written, keep up the good work.

  • Paladin Warrior
    July 6, 2007

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    I love this

    I am glad I clicked on this story,I have a story of this sort myself. Back in my grade school years my class had its own Harriot, though her name was Sherry. Every guy in my class had a crush on her, this was in Baltimore durung the late seventies. Our school broke each grage into three classes, and every guy had a crush on her. To me this girl was every thing, she would make me melt. When we evter jr high we went to different school because of where we both lived, and after the sixth grade I never saw her again. I had a crush on Sherry during all my grade school years then halfway through the seventh grade My family and I moved to West Virginia, and I never seem her again, but this is not the end of the story. Like you with Harriot, she touch you in a way that throughout you life you never forgot her. I am this same way with Sherry, she touched me in a way I cannot explain. When I was in my early thirtirs when I forst got on the internet and needless to say it was aol. With aol my biggest thing was instant maessages, and I was talking with a lady named Sandy from Baltimore. We were talking about our childhood memories and such, and I was telling her about Sherry. Sandy tells me she went to jr high and high school with a girl named Sherry. I dont remember the name of the scool at the moment, but this was the same school my Sherry went to. So I ask Sandy what her last name was, and She said Sherry Seuh. I was floored, I said you are kiiding right, and she said no that what her name is. I told her that was the same last name as my sherry. At the moment I dont recall how it came about but Sandy had got me her Email address. I emailed her a few times, but never did get a reply so I put her on my IM list and if I ever seem her online I was going to Im her, and this I did, and with my lucked it ended up being her Husband. He ask me who I was and why I was emailing his wife. I never did tell him I had a crush on her I just told him that I moved away from Baltimore during Jr high school and was just trying to contact people I knew from school. He was kawl about the whole thing and we talked a few times after that. I never did talk to Sherry, and to this day she has a special place in my heart.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      July 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Universal? Glad to hear it!

      Glad to read you enjoyed the tale! You know, one of the greatest complements I, as a writer of stories HOPE have a "universal" feel to them, is to have the saga somehow stir the reader into recalling...and retelling...a similar episode or sequence of events in his or her own experience. "Sherry" sounds like a "Harriet" all right...too bad..or I SHOULD say, (like MY friend in the story)...GOOD THING you didn't get to speak with her! LUCKY FOR YOU! But, hey...perhaps some day. I mean, what are the chances? The odds? (lol)
      Thanks for the good comments and the story!
      GA


  • Im All Drama Queen
    July 6, 2007
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    it was a good story but i got to say it was a little sad.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      July 7, 2007
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      Hi Lexie B,

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on "HARRIET." It would help, though, to know just WHY you personally found the story to be a little sad. (I think you are, in a way, correct in your feeling...as all my tales seem to wax a bit melancholy...but I'd still like to know just WHY this one struck you that way.) It is, after all, a story of HOPE...and a spirit that refuses to be crushed!
      Best,
      Gary

  • Leaf Green
    July 6, 2007

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    This is great. I loved this piece, and being the romantic that I am, it was my favorite of the others I've read (haven't gotten to "Ben Borden" yet though). You're rather quite good at dialogue. The story made me laught in quite a few places (her rejection of him becuase of his ears, Harriet never showing up in the lobby, her hanging up, and other things along those lines.)

    I love the Hannibal reference. It just leaves pictures in my mind of the huge Hannibal character, with his giant elephants behind him, and yet they still are miniscule in comparison to the enormous mountains ahead. It leaves such a feeling of purpose and excitement for some huge heroic deed about to be done.

    And on some of the random speculations in the story, I have to agree, I think everyone does gravitate to New York at one point or another. I grew up in the south, went to an arts school for music, and now I frequent New York (not quite living there). I have met almost everyone I ever knew in high school on the streets of the city.

    But overall, this story struck me as a kind of simple, sweet anecdote of everyone's life. The personality of the character also comes through thickly in his thoughts of Harriet, which is always an admirable way of revealing a character's self. You know, getting to know a character through how he sees other characters. I enjoy that in a story.

    This story just struck me as spectacular in its simplistic grace and reality. Not much more on what I can dote. Very well done.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      July 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Many thanks.

      Thanks. Everyone (perhaps except for Harriet lol) likes this one. I'm glad at least it has served to bring about a few laughs. You "got" the Hannibal reference...for kids...little kids...I just thought it would seem so big...so DAUNTING! (And it was!) Glad you appreciate the straight forward language...so many think one has to lapse into a kind of "writer-eze" when pen is put to paper. Not so! Just "tell the story!" Meanwhile, Leaf, I'm still looking! "What are the odds, I wonder?" lol
      GA


  • Rosemary silver member
    July 3, 2007

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    Great story

    I can relate to this story so much. I had a friend named Billy that I still think about even though many years have gone by. Thank you.


  • I Dare to Dream
    July 3, 2007
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    this is a lovely story, and really captures the behavior of someone who has a crush on someone else. It was really lovely, and I really enjoyed it. Hope dies last, so true Azaradelle!


  • Azaradelle Moderators member
    June 29, 2007
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    Hope dies last...

    Firstly, i would like to say that this, like every one of your other pieces, has been one of the most enjoyable reads for me. Your stories have a sort of eerie and dark mood to them, but you manage to weave hope throughout, which makes it that little brighter.
    Your opening paragraph was extremely capturing. It relates to people, and the crush you describe is so common, the reader cannot help but feel for the main character.
    However, by the second paragraph you make clear that this 'crush' is not common at all. You force the reader to believe that in fact, it is a unique feeling, and in doing so, promise a unique story and adventure ahead.
    As one continues reading, the introduction of people and emotions turn into tension and suspense. The conflict, although already stated in the very beginning is managed throughout the whole story, which is something all readers crave.
    The descriptions in this story are not tedeous or overly done. They are enough to give a reader a certain image in their heads, without boring them with excessive amounts of detail.

    "In fact what little remained of that afternoon was an indelible pain and disappointment."

    This has to be my favourite line. It says so much in such few words. We've all had days where we've felt like this, but never before has it been described so beautifully and to the point.

    “She says your ears stick out.”

    This reminds one that it is children we are currently dealing with, but at the same time manages to keep its impact. By this point we are so attatched to the main character that we feel his devastation at the response he receives.

    (“Why,” I asked, clinging to some hope for specious reasons that I might use to cushion my decimation?)

    AND:

    (“What are you doing, dear,” she asked?)

    Have question marks in the wrong places. I'm sure this was simply a subconcious error, so i won't go on about it. However, be sure to inform me if it was in fact done on purpose, and tell me the reason why.

    “Well,” she said, “just a little, dear.” Alas, she was too truthful.

    This response is so hard to believe and somewhat unrealistic. This is entirely up to you, but to me it was unbelievable. A mothers response is normally "No dear, you're perfect" or something along the lines of that anyway. But like i said, this is merely my opinion. Perhaps you did it on purpose to give us an insight to the mothers character?
    Your reference to street names and numbered houses manage to show the reader the sense of desperation and obsession the main character feels. It also makes the story more 'real' and believable to us.
    Your climaxes, although usually dimmed in the end, are plenty and proffessionally placed throughout the story. They manage to keep a readers interest, and enforce the message of hope this story conveys.
    The line "You once said my ears stuck out.” shows that her response, however young they were at the time, left a major impact on the main character. Refering back to this was a marvellous idea, and i think added the cherry on the top.

    Once again, an amazing story. I can't go on enough about how much i truly enjoyed reading this. You are a talented writer, and why your works have not been published yet i will never know.

    Keep writing! I only wish id read this sooner!

    Yrs.

    Azaradelle.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      June 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      I HOPE...to straighten my punctuation!

      Thank you once again. To answer your query about my careless, improperly placed punctuation...no it was not you...nor on purpose. This is simply, inexcusably MY carelessness. Embarrassing! Please forgive it. (Can we chalk it up to the eccentricity of genius? Or the genius of eccentricity? Either way...I shall fix this.) Thank you for catching it...and I appreciate the effusive comments on the saga...which, btw, had a good deal of truth in it...'INCLUDING the mother's words of: "Well...just a little, dear!" And I will, obviously, never forget them! My mother would never have said "No, you are PERFECT, dear." (Probably because of my punctuation!!)
      Gary

      • Azaradelle Moderators member
        June 29, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Hahaha the puctuation mistakes happen to the best of us, nothing to be ashamed of.
        As for the mother's response... well, i'm sorry to hear that they had a good deal of truth in them. I suppose because my mother contantly told me i was beautiful i feel that this happens to everyone else too...
        That fault is on my side, apologies, and congratulations on another wonderfully written piece!

        Yrs.

        Azaradelle.


  • Isabella Swan
    June 28, 2007
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    Well Done

    This was a very well written story. It was a little sad but very good. You did very well, keep up the good work!!!


  • The Wall
    June 28, 2007
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    man, Harrier is coooold. Nice story! It was a lot different than I expected it to be. Keep up the good work!

  • F-14 Ace
    June 28, 2007
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    Poor guy.

    Poor guy. I really feel sorry for him. Harrier seems to be a bit shallow. I mean, she doesn't like someone because their ears stick out? Ouch. Anyway, I enjoyed it and encourage you to keep up the good work.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      June 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      She was only about seven!

      I couldn't blame the kid at that stage of the game...it was only later on that her aloofness and arrogance made itself evident. But, hey...such is life...some women...and the foolishness, hopes and pursuits of some men.
      Gary

  • So Be It
    June 28, 2007

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    thank you for writing this piece. It was absolutely wonderful...from beginning to end! The story had a wonderful nostalgic feel to it- even though Gary hadn't seen Harriet in years, he still went looking for her. Even if it was subconsciously.
    I originally picked this story 'cause my full name is Harriet (Even though I go by a nick) but I was pleasantly surprised. Kudos.

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      June 28, 2007
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      Can't Keep Good Nostalgia Down!

      Thanks for reading it. I'm gratified to read that the "nostalgia" comes through...even though I didn't "go for" that feeling in writing the story. I guess it's our times...and how they are "a-changin'"
      GA


  • Radiance
    June 26, 2007

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    This is really different than I imagined it would be (I was just searching random story titles)! I thought it was interesting, the way his crush started in elementary school and, in a way, continued even though he hadn't seen her in YEARS. It was also interesting how he saw everyone BUT Harriet, which makes you wonder... what happened to her? Why does it seem like his friend is trying to keep him away from her, even though he obviously wants to see her?

    Thank you for sharing this; it gave me a moment of enjoyment and a new perspective on... ahem... CRUSHES.

    Keep writing, and well done!

    • Gary Alexander silver member
      June 26, 2007
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      Treble

      On your query as to "why" this fellow seems (and "seems" is the operative word) to meet everyone but Harriet...don't give that too much weight. Remember two things: One: New York is a big place...at least eight to ten million people ambling around midtown every day! Two: This is only his PERCEPTION. A more or less casual way of lamenting his skewed luck, so far as H goes. ("Gee, I seem to be meeting everyone through the years...except H!") He really didn't MEET EVERYONE! He, however, would have LIKED to meet H instead of the dozen or so people he did run into! Next...you ask why the "friend" counseled him as he did. No conspiratorial or underhanded reason. No ulterior motive. Just another cynical person dispensing unromantic advice! (Don't be so conditioned by today's spy/espionage/mystery tales!)And...as for your wondering what happened to H...nothing untoward, I'm sure...but... join the narrator in this question!
      Thanks for reading me!
      Gary Alexander


  • pearls
    June 25, 2007

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    this is a fun read, i think, and i like how the character is focused on odds and everything. good job.

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