DaftweejimmyShow stories

Someone, who shall remain nameless, had the effrontery to ask why I chose the name daftweejimmy for myself. I can't help feeling they were trying to make a point, but it escapes me. I mean, just take a look at the stuff I write; that should take care of the first part of my monicker!

The rest's fairly simple too. I'm wee,(or little if you don't understand Scottish dialect words) and my parents called me James, which is far too grand a name for me, hence Jimmy. Clear enough?

A lot of my stories are taken from life, and since I've had the kind of CV that nobody reads with any attention, I'll put it here so that you can scratch your head a little and wonder how I fitted it all in. And if you can tell me, I'd be grateful. So in no particular order, I've earned my daily bread at the following occupations:

deep sea fisherman,
fly-fishing instructor
lumberjack,
drystone waller,
train guard,
encyclopaedia salesman,
microbiology lab assistant,
trainee radio script writer,
ghillie
delivery driver,
factory worker,
psychiatric nurse,
fishery manager
roadie for a couple of groups,
gunge plunge co-ordinator and
elephant circumciser.

Quite a lot of the list above is true. I didn't mention my stints as barman and waiter, since almost everyone must have done things like that from time to time.

My main aim here is to improve what little talent God has given me, and to entertain, educate and amuse all those who take the trouble to drop by. And I love it when people leave comments (hint hint..)

My Lists

Stories I'm focused on

  • All I do now is remember. I sit in these hills of stone, watching myth and legend growing up and multiplying. Oh, we were a great team, no
    4200 words, 4 comments, September 14, 2009
  • 400 words, 2 comments, August 16, 2009
  • Now, I know what you're thinking, Alphonse is too ridiculous a name for a pet, regardless of what kind of animal he was. Let's face it, you
    1100 words, 8 comments, August 11, 2009
  • The new day was wearing a patchwork of grey and white clouds against a blue background, with the decorative relief of a rainbow in the east
    3800 words, 2 comments, August 7, 2009
  • There's something about departures and turning points in people's lives to which writers give far too much attention. On the other hand, I
    3700 words, 5 comments, July 24, 2009
  • 3300 words, 6 comments, July 16, 2009
  • On the whole, I think it best to skip the first seven years of my life. Sorry, weren't you paying attention? Yes, this is the extremely dec
    4900 words, 25 comments, July 6, 2009
  • On my first controversial view, I warned potential readers of the possibility of them being offended. This warning holds good for all this series, but it's worth reiterating. So, If you're easily offended by points of view co
    1000 words, 17 comments, July 6, 2009
  • Be warned before you read this that the views expressed here are liable to cause offence, especially if you have contrary views which have
    1400 words, 9 comments, July 4, 2009
  • It was early the next morning when I called on my Uncle Samuel, and if he was pleased to see me, he made heroic efforts to hide the fact. I
    3200 words, 1 comment, June 28, 2009
  • Husqvana don't just make handguns, which is probably just as well. A friend of mine, who is a bit of a nerd where guns are concerned told m
    600 words, 2 comments, June 27, 2009
  • Of course, you're thinking, "No, that can't be right! Planet of Curiosity, yep, that might be possible, but Planet of curiousness, the man'
    2500 words, 6 comments, June 25, 2009
  • Of course, I never went back. Maybe I'm the exception; I'm still alive.1
    2600 words, 6 comments, June 22, 2009
  • As I lay in front of the fire that night, it came to me that all was not well with my human. Mind you, things hadn't been well with him for
    300 words, 1 comment, June 22, 2009
  • It's odd, but recently I have been thinking about growing up. Not before time, I hear the you all mutter in chorus. OK, so I'm not your arc
    700 words, 2 comments, June 19, 2009
  • 100 words, 1 comment, June 11, 2009
  • 400 words, 3 comments, June 10, 2009
  • <100 words, 6 comments, June 9, 2009
  • Nothing in life is entirely complex.1
    1600 words, 7 comments, June 3, 2009
  • 2600 words, 1 comment, May 31, 2009

Active Contests

  • ok, the world and his wife are talking about St Valentine's. this has absolutely nothing to do with february 14TH!!! What i want to hear about are items for sale. Not the price, not how brilliant the produc
    850 points, ends February 16, 1 entries

My Stories

1 - 4 of 213   Show all Search
  • 600 words, February 9
  • That was my favourite phrase. Most people found it irritating, largely because they didn't know how it was. One of my closest friends point
    2600 words, 2 comments, February 1
  • It's a bit of a brash question in some ways. Maybe the who in the question, it's when do you need them. One thing was sure, I didn't need them right now.1
    100 words, February 1
  • When my father, Trevor Giggleswick Halibuton MacGonnagle proposed to my mother, Alicia Heloise Mountfather leGrande, it was a rather painful affair. He had donned his best suit, now three sizes too small for him and smelling
    300 words, 4 comments, February 1

My Poetry

1 - 3 of 7   Show all at allpoetry

My other items

1 - 3 of 5   Show all

Guest Book

1 - 4 of 20   Show all
  • ShawnTheDinosaur on January 2
    whoa, those are some seriously vast occupations, sir lol.
  • SageSyren on December 23, 2009
    Photobucket
  • Weed the Puppy on October 7, 2009
    Hello!
  • Marta. on July 30, 2009
    Thank you for visiting my page. Yours is very nice and you are quite amusing.

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