It has been well said of me that my character and my stories are at complete variance. (No, I don't understand that either, but it sounds like the sort of thing an intellectual would say, and some of my friends have intellectual pretensions, so I thought I'd put it in to see if anyone thought I am intellectual; sad, isn't it?
Normally I write humour, but occasionally go for really gut-wrenching emotional stuff, and now and then try to take the world as seriously as it takes itself. Mostly I get over this in a day or two, since the world doesn't take me too seriously, so that's fine. Believe it or not, in this angst-driven world, most of my humorous stories are very much closer to reality than the various melodramatic productions that sometimes bedeck these pages. We all like contrast, I guess.
So where do these little scribbles of mine come from?
Being a little on the ancient side of antedeluvian, and disinclined to do too much formal research, I draw from my own somewhat chequered career, if what I've had can be dignified by such a description. Having appeared in this veil of tears (maybe that should be vale, but who cares about spelling?) in 1951, I am old enough to remember the "jobs for life" generation's outlook, followed by the "life for jobs" employers. No, I didn't understand that either, but I'm told they did happen that way. I may be old enough to rememberit, but that doesn't necessarily mean I can remember anything political.
Going back to the boring bit about my ways of earning a living, these include;
deep sea fisherman,
fly-fishing instructor
lumberjack,
drystone waller,
train guard,
encyclopaedia salesman,
microbiology lab assistant,
trainee radio script writer,
ghillie
delivery driver,
factory worker,
psychiatric nurse,
fishery manager
roadie for a couple of groups,
gunge plunge co-ordinator and
elephant circumciser.
Quite a lot of the list above is true. I didn't mention my stints as barman and waiter, since almost everyone must have done things like that from time to time.
my main aim here is to improve what little talent God has given me, and to entertain, educate and amuse all those who take the trouble to drop by. And I love it when people leave comments (hint hint..)
Normally I write humour, but occasionally go for really gut-wrenching emotional stuff, and now and then try to take the world as seriously as it takes itself. Mostly I get over this in a day or two, since the world doesn't take me too seriously, so that's fine. Believe it or not, in this angst-driven world, most of my humorous stories are very much closer to reality than the various melodramatic productions that sometimes bedeck these pages. We all like contrast, I guess.
So where do these little scribbles of mine come from?
Being a little on the ancient side of antedeluvian, and disinclined to do too much formal research, I draw from my own somewhat chequered career, if what I've had can be dignified by such a description. Having appeared in this veil of tears (maybe that should be vale, but who cares about spelling?) in 1951, I am old enough to remember the "jobs for life" generation's outlook, followed by the "life for jobs" employers. No, I didn't understand that either, but I'm told they did happen that way. I may be old enough to rememberit, but that doesn't necessarily mean I can remember anything political.
Going back to the boring bit about my ways of earning a living, these include;
deep sea fisherman,
fly-fishing instructor
lumberjack,
drystone waller,
train guard,
encyclopaedia salesman,
microbiology lab assistant,
trainee radio script writer,
ghillie
delivery driver,
factory worker,
psychiatric nurse,
fishery manager
roadie for a couple of groups,
gunge plunge co-ordinator and
elephant circumciser.
Quite a lot of the list above is true. I didn't mention my stints as barman and waiter, since almost everyone must have done things like that from time to time.
my main aim here is to improve what little talent God has given me, and to entertain, educate and amuse all those who take the trouble to drop by. And I love it when people leave comments (hint hint..)
- Last seen 9 hours ago. Member since March 12, 2008.
- I am a 58 year old man (Scotland)
- When I'm not writing, I'm driving instructor.
- I support the site as a gold member
- I am in the groups Over The Hill Gang, Storywrite Anthology Volume One, Writing 101
- I have 699 comments, 9 contests, 7 poems, 180 stories
My Lists
Stories I'm focused on
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All I do now is remember. I sit in these hills of stone, watching myth and legend growing up and multiplying. Oh, we were a great team, no4200 words, 4 comments, September 14
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400 words, 1 comment, August 16
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Now, I know what you're thinking, Alphonse is too ridiculous a name for a pet, regardless of what kind of animal he was. Let's face it, you1100 words, 8 comments, August 11
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The new day was wearing a patchwork of grey and white clouds against a blue background, with the decorative relief of a rainbow in the east3500 words, 1 comment, August 7
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There's something about departures and turning points in people's lives to which writers give far too much attention. On the other hand, I3700 words, 4 comments, July 24
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3300 words, 5 comments, July 16
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On the whole, I think it best to skip the first seven years of my life. Sorry, weren't you paying attention? Yes, this is the extremely dec4900 words, 14 comments, July 6
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On my first controversial view, I warned potential readers of the possibility of them being offended. This warning holds good for all this series, but it's worth reiterating. So, If you're easily offended by points of view co1000 words, 15 comments, July 6
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Be warned before you read this that the views expressed here are liable to cause offence, especially if you have contrary views which have1400 words, 9 comments, July 4
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It was early the next morning when I called on my Uncle Samuel, and if he was pleased to see me, he made heroic efforts to hide the fact. I2100 words, 1 comment, June 28
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Husqvana don't just make handguns, which is probably just as well. A friend of mine, who is a bit of a nerd where guns are concerned told m600 words, 2 comments, June 27
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Of course, you're thinking, "No, that can't be right! Planet of Curiosity, yep, that might be possible, but Planet of curiousness, the man'2500 words, 6 comments, June 25
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Of course, I never went back. Maybe I'm the exception; I'm still alive.1
2600 words, 5 comments, June 22 -
As I lay in front of the fire that night, it came to me that all was not well with my human. Mind you, things hadn't been well with him for300 words, 1 comment, June 22
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It's odd, but recently I have been thinking about growing up. Not before time, I hear the you all mutter in chorus. OK, so I'm not your arc700 words, 2 comments, June 19
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100 words, 1 comment, June 11
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400 words, 3 comments, June 10
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<100 words, 6 comments, June 9
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1600 words, 1 comment, May 31
Active Contests
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ok people, it's been a wee while since i had a contest, and this one is for those who can write with their tongues in their cheeks. Try it, it really makes the world a different place, which can only be an improvement.800 points, ends November 9, 3 entries
My Stories
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Why is it that when the days shorten, the miles lengthen? 1
500 words, 2 comments, November 5 -
A gentle breeze, but cold and carrying the decay of Autumn leaves and piercing through the mortal remains of the dying year, the sweet slow silencing of the million natural voices of Glen Lyon's beautiful woods.1100 words, 1 comment, November 5
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It's a very strange fact that when you have a group of people in a room along with a very large elephant (is there any other kind?) no-one<100 words, 1 comment, November 4
My Poetry
1 - 3 of 7
Show all at allpoetry
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The birds that fly
don't often cry;<100 words, 1 comment, August 18 -
I don't think I need tell you how
I overheard this this converse now,100 words, 3 comments, January 17
My other items
1 - 3 of 5
Show all
- I don't think I need tell you... at allpoetry
I don't think I need tell you how
I overheard this this converse now, - Over the hill at allpoetry
The sun glared, then the moon stared
and I continued, weary, - Pretend you don't see me.... at allpoetry
...and maybe I'll go.
in the night-time of brightness,
Guest Book
1 - 4 of 18
Show all
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Weed- on October 7Hello!
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First-Mate on July 30Thank you for visiting my page. Yours is very nice and you are quite amusing.
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Andy Stephenson : Hi there! on July 10How are you this day?
Andy
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PixieDrug on June 22oh waily, waily, waily! the Wee Free Men! sorry, I just saw your name at the side of the page ^^ if it wasn't in reference of this awesome book (then just ignore and delete this), sorry, but I do love Terry Pratchet
I apologise for randomness, millie
