"Two mountain chains traverse the republic roughly from north to south, forming between them a number of valleys and plateaus. Overlooking one of these valleys, which is dominated by two volcanoes, lies, six thousand feet above sea level, the town of Quauhnahuac. It is situated well south of the Tropic of Cancer, to be exact on the nineteenth parallel, in about the same latitude as the Revillagigedo Islands to the west in the Pacific..."
The above are the opening words from Malcolm Lowry's glorious masterpiece, Under the Volcano. Note the wording, the feel, the details; one quickly gets a sense of the rugged beauty of late 30's Mexico and, by expansion, the main character, the Consul's world in general. Another example from the same book (forgive me, excellent examples by excellent authors abound, but this happens to be my favorite book, and the one before me now):
"There were two towers, Jacques' zacualis, one at each end and joined by a catwalk over the roof, which was the glassed-in gable of the studio below. These towers were as if camouflaged (almost like the Samaritan, in fact): blue, grey, purple, vermilion, had once been slashed on in zebra stripes. But time and weather had combined to render the effect from a short distance of a uniform dull mauve. Their tops, reached from the catwalk by twin, wooden ladders, and from inside by two spiral staircases, made two flimsy crenellated miradors, each scarcely larger than a bartizan, tiny roofless variants of the observation posts which everywhere commanded the valley in Quauhnahuac."
This is what I'm talking about. I can SEE the towers, lonely towers, aged, dull, against the Quauhnahuac backdrop, I feel like I could climb those steps then stand upon a mirador and look out and gaze to the distant volcano, Popocatepetl... Naturally the Malcolm Lowrys and Virginia Woolfs are, even in history, few and far between. So I'm not expecting the next Ulysses or Atlas Shrugged. But I'm tired of reading things like:
"I continued down the hallway and turned the corner. I peered into Mr. Hayden's algebra class and noticed Trevor sitting in the fifth row, flirting with a cheerleader." (Pinched from Dance with a Vampire, by Ellen Schreiber).
There is, naturally, nothing wrong with this. BUT. Mr. Hayden and the cheerleader are cardboard cutouts. I have no sense of what the hall or classroom looks like. As an aside, I rather enjoyed Ms Schreiber's Vampire Kisses series. But then again, there isn't one passage that really took me away, not a one I'll remember after the last page has been read.
Apologies for being so circumlocutory. But I felt it best to show what I wanted by example. Thus, to finally get to the point: I want a vivid picture painted before me. I want to enter another world. Don't be scared to send me running for the dictionary; my vocabulary will never be good enough. Nonplus me with weird word combinations or arcane allusions. I couldn't care less about "story" or "plot"; you choose it I'll read it, and that includes gore and homo erotica. Note: I'm a staunch libertarian, freedom expression reigns supreme (though please exercise common sense). Your story can be as simple as a fellow sitting in a coffee shop ruminating on life. If so, I want to know him, his life and why he mulls, I want a sense of the other patrons, I want to taste the coffee. If it's an alien planet I want to know the shape of the plants, their life-cycle, are they poisonous or edible to the ambient wildlife, in any? What I want is, in short, not a story but LITERATURE. They are, in fact, as disparate as they get.
BUT:
Taking 500 words to describe a shoe is simply too much. Painting vivid pictures with words has nothing to do with voluminous wordplay; it is all about choosing the right words at the right time. This is why word creativity will play the big, if not only, role in this.
So people. I dare any and all to step out and into another world. Get me out of this increasingly distasteful thing they call "reality". Show me word wizardry is not dead!
This is my first contest, so I'm not sure about how to handle time/maximum entries, so I'll work on it as we go. Two months, I think, at least, probably more. Any advice from the experienced? I know I'm asking a lot and I hope people are up for this; I do know from reading others on this site that so many do indeed have the literary chops. This is why I think at least 1000 points should go to the gold winner. Some obligatory, mostly standard rules of engagement:
Update: I've truncated the rules list. I'm lax, actually, I fear I may of came across as the Nazi before:
1 - Read the damn rules! It kills me how many people don't follow them. One would think that being members of this site precluded illiteracy. Apparently this is a fallacy.
2 - And here's the big one: there ain't no rules, just common sense. No prompts, no redesigning your manuscript to suit some lout demanding "i Izz cule!" to clutter up your AN for no reason. I've learnt there's no need. If I get rubbish, I just crapcan the entry. Simple. No fuss. No muss. I leave the common sense to you, dear writers; if you ain't got none, then don't enter.
Now: quit wasting time reading this and dig through the best, most alluring, most descriptive passages you've got and send me my picture!
March 28 - Damn. I'm way behind my goal of at least one story viewed per day. The fault is, as usual, work. Doing my best...
March 30 - Entries have fallen to a trickle; I think this is all I'm going to get. Extending a couple more days or any "last minute" scrambles.
The above are the opening words from Malcolm Lowry's glorious masterpiece, Under the Volcano. Note the wording, the feel, the details; one quickly gets a sense of the rugged beauty of late 30's Mexico and, by expansion, the main character, the Consul's world in general. Another example from the same book (forgive me, excellent examples by excellent authors abound, but this happens to be my favorite book, and the one before me now):
"There were two towers, Jacques' zacualis, one at each end and joined by a catwalk over the roof, which was the glassed-in gable of the studio below. These towers were as if camouflaged (almost like the Samaritan, in fact): blue, grey, purple, vermilion, had once been slashed on in zebra stripes. But time and weather had combined to render the effect from a short distance of a uniform dull mauve. Their tops, reached from the catwalk by twin, wooden ladders, and from inside by two spiral staircases, made two flimsy crenellated miradors, each scarcely larger than a bartizan, tiny roofless variants of the observation posts which everywhere commanded the valley in Quauhnahuac."
This is what I'm talking about. I can SEE the towers, lonely towers, aged, dull, against the Quauhnahuac backdrop, I feel like I could climb those steps then stand upon a mirador and look out and gaze to the distant volcano, Popocatepetl... Naturally the Malcolm Lowrys and Virginia Woolfs are, even in history, few and far between. So I'm not expecting the next Ulysses or Atlas Shrugged. But I'm tired of reading things like:
"I continued down the hallway and turned the corner. I peered into Mr. Hayden's algebra class and noticed Trevor sitting in the fifth row, flirting with a cheerleader." (Pinched from Dance with a Vampire, by Ellen Schreiber).
There is, naturally, nothing wrong with this. BUT. Mr. Hayden and the cheerleader are cardboard cutouts. I have no sense of what the hall or classroom looks like. As an aside, I rather enjoyed Ms Schreiber's Vampire Kisses series. But then again, there isn't one passage that really took me away, not a one I'll remember after the last page has been read.
Apologies for being so circumlocutory. But I felt it best to show what I wanted by example. Thus, to finally get to the point: I want a vivid picture painted before me. I want to enter another world. Don't be scared to send me running for the dictionary; my vocabulary will never be good enough. Nonplus me with weird word combinations or arcane allusions. I couldn't care less about "story" or "plot"; you choose it I'll read it, and that includes gore and homo erotica. Note: I'm a staunch libertarian, freedom expression reigns supreme (though please exercise common sense). Your story can be as simple as a fellow sitting in a coffee shop ruminating on life. If so, I want to know him, his life and why he mulls, I want a sense of the other patrons, I want to taste the coffee. If it's an alien planet I want to know the shape of the plants, their life-cycle, are they poisonous or edible to the ambient wildlife, in any? What I want is, in short, not a story but LITERATURE. They are, in fact, as disparate as they get.
BUT:
Taking 500 words to describe a shoe is simply too much. Painting vivid pictures with words has nothing to do with voluminous wordplay; it is all about choosing the right words at the right time. This is why word creativity will play the big, if not only, role in this.
So people. I dare any and all to step out and into another world. Get me out of this increasingly distasteful thing they call "reality". Show me word wizardry is not dead!
This is my first contest, so I'm not sure about how to handle time/maximum entries, so I'll work on it as we go. Two months, I think, at least, probably more. Any advice from the experienced? I know I'm asking a lot and I hope people are up for this; I do know from reading others on this site that so many do indeed have the literary chops. This is why I think at least 1000 points should go to the gold winner. Some obligatory, mostly standard rules of engagement:
Update: I've truncated the rules list. I'm lax, actually, I fear I may of came across as the Nazi before:
1 - Read the damn rules! It kills me how many people don't follow them. One would think that being members of this site precluded illiteracy. Apparently this is a fallacy.
2 - And here's the big one: there ain't no rules, just common sense. No prompts, no redesigning your manuscript to suit some lout demanding "i Izz cule!" to clutter up your AN for no reason. I've learnt there's no need. If I get rubbish, I just crapcan the entry. Simple. No fuss. No muss. I leave the common sense to you, dear writers; if you ain't got none, then don't enter.
Now: quit wasting time reading this and dig through the best, most alluring, most descriptive passages you've got and send me my picture!
March 28 - Damn. I'm way behind my goal of at least one story viewed per day. The fault is, as usual, work. Doing my best...
March 30 - Entries have fallen to a trickle; I think this is all I'm going to get. Extending a couple more days or any "last minute" scrambles.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on April 13
- Rewards: Gold: 1000, Silver: 500, Bronze: 250, Honorable mention: 5 people
- Final notes: I really enjoyed this contest and I feel both my writing and critiquing skills have improved through studying these works.
Obviously many would take issue with my picks; we are not dealing with black and white here. So I will explain my choices, for better or worse. Now, this one was a headache and the knowledge that points only go to the top three spots is painful. I also wish I was allowed more than five honourable mentions. That said, I eschewed spelling and grammar and focussed on depth, alternate meanings and the like. The top three winners had just that; they all got me thinking, wondering, interpreting things in more ways than one. Prosetry is masterful in both duologue and description. Cracked went by me the first time, but eventually the very title smacked me out of my stupor. The subtle Subito Morendo, though I had technical issues with the wording, nonetheless I took in a dozen ways, just they way it was meant to be. Multi-dimensional works, Under the Volcanoes, indeed. Points well deserved, people!
Next, in no particular order: Never Step On Snails and Lucky; well written and enjoyable pieces by authors with talent. Jotnar's Wood fell into the "lighter reading" category - as such not, strictly speaking, what I was requesting. But it was so good I had to make a mention. Catch a Leaf in the Autumn Breeze, poetic and open to interpretation, drove me nuts when picking out the top three. The brush strokes of talent shine on this one. Suicidal Secrets, perhaps verbose and the stream of consciousness oft times difficult to follow, is of great potential from an author with skills well beyond his/her years.
More: A Life More Ordinary, awkward in places but intriguing and full of life. Not Just Another Tuesday, so good... nice work!
And more... but I've already gone on too long. Thanks everybody and see you next contest!
Contest Winners
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"Do you know Janet Gherke?" my mother asked.1
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It was hot and dusty. It was summer. 1 / Most summers were the same in this hot dusty place. People lay around for three months with the air conditioning on and the pool jammed with bodies so it• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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A conductor sees fit to use an entire city as his orchestra.by Matthew-Maldonado 2400 words, 79 comments, on Apr 28 4:24 AM 2008. In Dark, Fantasy, Horror, Sad, Science fiction, Society, Strange
Bronze trophy winner
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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LUCKY / I suppose the word best used to describe her then would be “lanky.” It was a word I recall hearing more often then than now. Now, y• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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Jotnar's Wood, a place where the Teddy bears don't have their picnics...• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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Crisscut symbols that mean Jezebel1
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Honorable mention
Entries [21]
1 - 21 of 21
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This is the first chapter of the novel I wrote for JanNo. It is about Circus Folk trying to make a go of it in the burbs. I hope you enjoy• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Anjelica's eyes brightened, then took on an awed expression as if things had finally registered within her.by SilentMoonDance 1900 words, 27 comments, on Feb 10 8:15 PM. In Fantasy, Fiction, Romance, Short story• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Frozen in this moment... in realization, in memories and desires. For not only did I actually see this, I understood it long before it starby Lilian of Tilburg 1000 words, 5 comments, on Mar 12 5:21 PM. In Inspirational, Life, Personal, Sad• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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This piece gives a true account on the 26th July 2005 deluge in Mumbai, India. It has understatements but none are exaggerations.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Outside, birds chirp frivolously as the sun rises and falls, reminding me that the world can go on without her, that the world won’t stop s• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Over the high snow peaked mountains and under the blankets
by BHolzner 700 words, 10 comments, on Mar 20 10:41 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Rhiannon longs for the iron liquid and apon spelling the blood follows it to her own doom.by Darkhearted 600 words, 6 comments, on Sep 12 4:47 PM. In Contest, Dark, Death, Fantasy, Fiction, Horror, Science fiction, Short story• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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They reminded me of golden glass, golden glass ants who floated through the moonlight on my counter.by Noctella 800 words, 13 comments, on Jun 10 2:18 AM 2008. In Descriptive, First person, Strange, Weird• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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I was out walking, in a graveyard in the rain. My Lady was not with me, but mayhap that was best. A ghost appeared. Or was he? I could not tell. He dressed in a fine swallow-tailed coat and wore a tall stovepipe hat and the rby Minorchar 100 words, 10 comments, on Oct 29 10:24 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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He was with me for such a short time yet he was with me’ she murmurs. The beautiful girl oh 24years with a long black hair prominent check• Commented on by judge.
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by Ghost of a Siren 2400 words, 4 comments, on Jan 12 8:24 PM. In Dark, Depression, Fiction, First person, Romance, Sad• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Part of an older story for a contest.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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MERCHANTS DOOM PART11 / This treatise is or, maybe my only worthwhile legacy. Oh! I have riches and moneys, properties and business interesby Tomereader 3900 words, 18 comments, on Jun 18 2:07 PM 2008. In Adventure, Dark, Fantasy, First person, Horror, Strange• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Hi!
I don't know if the moderators will permit this contest to go over a couple of months. If it closes, usually the moderators judge or remove a contest after three weeks. These are a couple of things you may wish to think about.
Andy
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Thanks for the note. Like I said, this is my first contest, I want to keep things smooth but don't know "how it's done". Yeah, I know, nothing much to learn to those that know but when one knows nothing... I just want to allow enough time for original entries. I'll adjust with all feedback, being yours or moderators or submitters. All the best! :-)
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IMPRESSIVE
A mere hours and three excellent entries. Each an every one in tune with the theme. I hope I haven't started something I cannot finish... In a way I hope I did! Wonderful! -
I'm sorry. I can't put "Malcolm Lowry rulez!" in my AN because it'll change the story's format, and the message won't have the same affect. Is that okay?
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Yup. All good. That stupid little "Malcomlm Lowry rulez!" is more a confirmation that you actually read the rules. And you did. So, like I said, all good :-)
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conspectus- what does this mean????
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An outline or synopsis. A little heads up on what the submission is all about. It's not needed; I have realized that by allowing prewrites this may potentially alter a finished product. After this one is finished I'm thinking about another contest in this [my favorite] theme, disallowing prewrites. Then I'll be more astringent with the rules. But that's a while away. Take care :-)
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"Malcolm Lowry rulez!"... See, I read your rules.
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I've given up on that crap. Adding a stupid quote to the AN was a mistake. Especially since there really aren't any rules to my contest; just strong writing and great imagery.
I won't make this mistake again. Take care!
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I really want to enter a prewrite, but I don't want to add all the edits you would require for entry. I really do think the story I have in mind would fit your desire; I spent a lot of time "painting" words and emotions onto the screen. I'm tempted to just enter it anyway; but I can see you're a stickler for rules. So I'll see if this suffices:
Guns and Roses (part III) which is about a boy in Victorian London who is a newsie by day and a famous art thief by night. In this particular chapter, he comes back to London after an extended trip (for his night occupation) to find that his lover is on her deathbed.
And someone named Malcolm apparently rules. -
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See above reply to Ghost of a Siren. I'm no rule Nazi; if this is the perception, I'm wondering if I'm scaring off entries? I wish I could go back and change the wording... Actually I just realized I can. Off to emend this right now...
Thanks for the synopsis - already it's got my attention; otherwise I'd think it was a tribute to that screechy band that took, what was it, 20 years to put together a ho-hum CD? How can it be GnR without my man Slash?
Back to seriousness. Malcolm Lowry is just my favorite author; the strength of his work, not his style, is the yardstick that I will be judging this by. One need not be a Lowry freak to have the best chance; just your best work. I'll take your entry and look forward to reading it.
Take Care
Dw
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Thank you, DW...
I feel truly appreciative (for a change) to have received what I consider to be an honest view of my work from an adult writer whose intent was to be thoroughly objective.
Alas, although I gladly encourage young writers in their development, I do not feel 'safe' a lot of the time placing my self-esteem as a writer in their hands. Does that sound unfair? I don't intend for it to, although it probably comes across as such. (My apologies to any youngsters who read this!
).
Anyway, your thoughtful critiques are just what this site needs to both encourage and inspire us all as writers.
Thank you for not only your time and application in judging this contest, but in your fairness as well.
I'm very honoured to have been awarded an HM in your contest.
Thank you!
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You're very welcome. Like I said, I wish points went to more than just the top three... but alas and alack.
You're not alone, the not feeling "safe" that is; I feel the same way (a few other writers have mentioned this as well).
And thank you for the acknowledgment that I actually put some time and thought in my reviews! Actually, quite a bit of time, and I feel it shows in the comment boxes. To be honest, from what I've thus far seen, there doesn't seem to be enough of that on this site...
Dw
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Congratulations to the winners as well as DreamWanderer.. And thank you agian for your kind comment.. Was a good contest :-)
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Thanks you. And it was because of strong entries like yours that made this such a good contest! And a headache to sort out... :-)
Dw
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