Religious Fanfiction

In honor of it being Holy Friday, I am starting a new contest for Religious Fanfiction.  

And how do I define such a strange term, you wonder?

Religious Fanfiction is:

1. A NEW story featuring characters from current religions in new situations. These stories will give the religious icons a distinctive personality while keeping true to their original character as presented in the holy books.

Do NOT retell the old bible stories. Do NOT retell the tales from the Koran. Create NEW stories with NEW situations and NEW plot devices using the same old characters, such as...

I want know what it would be like if I had a water gun fight with Jesus. I want to know what Muhammad's favorite movie would've been, if he'd seen any today. If Moses was my golfing buddy, would he cheat when marking the scores? Does Saint Agnes get along with the other saints up in heaven? Would Lord Rama be super possessive over his wife Sita's social activities?

I want character-focused stories that give me an excellent perspective on the sort of REALISTIC personality the deity/son of deity/saint/goddess/whatever would have if they were here on earth.

Example: You prank phone call random numbers and, whoops! JESUS picks up the phone.

or

Lord Krishna assists Hanuman in saving the endangered bonobo monkeys from extinction.

or

Buddha appears to Stanley, the nerdy McDonald's worker, to ask him why, since he's converted to Buddhism, his number of desires has actually increased, rather than decreased. Stanley admits to becoming Buddhist in order 'to get chicks.' Buddha says that all suffering originates from desire. Stanley asks if he wants fries with that. Buddha drives off in disgust.



An example of some religious fanfiction that I've written can be found here:

http://storywrite.com/story/75493



Contest Rules:

1. I understand that anything having to do with religion offends people. Please do NOT start flame wars with one another over any vitriolic pieces. If I find a story is too inflammatory, I will remove it.

2. I will only accept fanfiction about ESTABLISHED religions with MORE than FIVE MILLION CURRENT WORSHIPERS. In LIST form, this means:

- Christianity
- Islam
- Hinduism
- Judaism
- Buddhism
- Baha'ism (although, I must confess, I know next to nothing about this religion)
- Confucianism
- Sikhism

3. I will NOT be accepting any PAGAN fanfiction. Now, I have absolutely NOTHING against any pagans out there, but I've already done my mythology themed contest. Now I want to do something new.

4. If there are any other religions out there you would like to write fanfiction about, please send me a link to an accredited website (like an online encyclopedia) that indicates the religion has more than five million worshipers. This does not count with grouped-together religions, like Primal-Indigenous or African Traditional & Diasporic. Unless you make an excellent case, your story will not qualify.

5. Try not to piss TOO many people off. An example: writing Jesus as a complete sadomasochist. There is NOTHING in the bible to indicate this as true. Most people interpret him to be a pretty nice guy. If you're gonna deviate from that interpretation, you'd better write you character well enough so I can believe it. So if you submit a story about Buddha being a money grubbing, Versace-wearing maniac, be prepared to not win (and possibly be disqualified) unless you can support your character choices in your author's notes.

6. Satan IS a religious figure and, while I will accept stories about him, they'd better be good. If all you have some cliched Satan Rises To The Earth and Kills People, don't bother. Be original! Be more creative! Write something UNIQUE about Lucifer, or the fallen angels, or the concept of demons or soul selling or whatever. Bonus points for including the concept of how heaven combats hell's nefarious plans. Movies like The Devil's Advocate were entertaining, but it annoyed me how the devil had ALL the power in that movie and godly forces didn't even have a cameo.

7. *The Most Important Rule of All*: DON'T FRIGGIN PREACH AT ME. There is a DIFFERENCE between religious stories and preaching. Stories...tell a STORY. There are well-defined characters in them and STUFF HAPPENS. I'm GLAD you found Jesus/Allah/Krishna in your life, but I'm not interested in being converted. I just want to read religious fanfiction that's ENTERTAINING and ORIGINAL and CREATIVE.


Basic rules:

1. Spelling and Grammar. Correct 'em.

2. Length? There's no limit, but I prefer shorter stories unless they're really well-written.

3. Stories must be readable! This means that if your story is more than 100 words, have MORE THAN ONE PARAGRAPH!

If your characters are having a conversation, create a new paragraph every time someone new talks!

Know the difference between 'you're' and 'your'; 'to,' 'two,' and 'too,'; and 'there,' 'their,' and 'they're.'

4. Profanity, gore, sex, violence? These things are all allowed, but SUPPORT THEM IN THE STORY.


...

Because I have so so so so so many rules for this contest, I'm upping the amount of points the winners receive.

I've never done a contest like this before, so hopefully this will turn out well and NOT blow up in my face, or be ignored, or just fail horribly.

Please don't feel threatened by my many rules. I don't critique TOO harshly and I'm looking forward to reading the entries.

Have fun! Good luck!