Cavendish and Callthexylophone

One of my new favorite writers is Duchess Margaret Cavendish, who lived in the 17th century. She was free-thinker of her time, and believed that women were capable (at least intellectually) of everthing that men could do, and she was a damn good writer.

Here are some excerpts from her work "Female Orations," which is a five part writing from different opinions of how women should live and behave. Some are pro-women and some are anti-women, so I won't bitch if you pick an anti-feminist side, as long as it's well written.

I want you to write a story, essay, poem, movie scene, commercial for tampons, etc. on or about one (or more, part or all) of the following quotes from "Female Orations."
Got it? Good! =3

1. "Nevertheless, men ... would fain bury us in their houses or beds, as in a grave. The truth is, we live like bats or owls, labour like beasts, and die like worms."

2. "we may complain and bewail our condition, yet that will not free us... In short, our words to men are as empty sounds; our sighs, as puffs of winds; and our tears, as fruitless showers... men laugh at our weakness."

3. "...but we have no reason to speak against men, who are our admirers and lovers; they are our protectors, defenders, and maintainers; they admire our beauties, and love our persons; they protect us from injuries, defend us from dangers, ... they dig to the center of the earth for gold for us; they dive to the bottom of the sea for jewels for us; they build to the skies houses for us; they hunt, fowl, fish, plant, and reap for food for us. All which, we could not do ourselves; and yet we complain of men, as if they were our enemies, whenas we could not possibly live without them, which shows we are as ungrateful as inconstant. But we have more reason to murmur against Nature, than against men, who hath made men more ingenious, witty, and wise than women; more strong, industrious, and laborious than women; for women are witless and strengthless, and unprofitable creatures, did they not bear children. Wherefore, let us love men, praise men, and pray for men; for without men, we should be the most miserable creatures that Nature hath made or could make." (It's a long one, sorry! You would not have to use it all.)

4. "But to show men we are not so weak and foolish as the former oratoress doth express us to be, let us hawk, hunt, race, and do the like exercises that men have... Wherefore my advice is, we should imitate men; so will our bodies and minds appear more masculine, and our power will increase by our actions."

5. "Wherefore let me persuade you, since we cannot alter the nature of our persons, not to alter the course of our lives; but to rule so our lives and behaviours that we be acceptable and pleasing to God and men; which is, to be modest, chaste, temperate, humble, patient, and pious; also, be houswifely, cleanly, and of few words."

REMEMBER! I don't care if you use all, a part, or just base your writing around any of those, or anything other part of "Female Orations" that you find online. You can even do erotica if you could figure out a tasteful way to work it in, I suppose.

Main Rules?
1. No novels, please, but I don't have a set min. or max. word count.
2. Try to use proper grammar.
3. YoU cAn TyPe LiKe ThIs, I just don't see why.
4. Have at it, and don't be afraid to enter, okay?

Ermm... what else, this IS my first contest... am I missing anything? Nope? Okay then. Write on.