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I want your best one word story, only I have a few rules that must be read in ascending order in regards to numerals, and descending order in regards to location on this page :
1) The title must be called the same word as the story. I don't want a fancy title winning me over, because then it is more like a 3-7 word story.
2) The word must be between 3 and 5 syllables.
3) You may only use one of these letters to start your story: B, G, J, M, U, V, X, Z. All other letters are void and null and will lead to a humiliating disqualification.
4) I don't care about what genre you choose to write, but I want your story to apply anywhere from the Proterozoic Era to the year 2129 A.D.
5) Just to make sure you are reading the rules, I have decided to disqualify anybody who uses the letters X or Z.
6) I want a short explanation in your authors notes about why you chose the story. I also want you to list your favorite number and type of cereal (without an explanation). Failure to comply with this will lead to disqualification (especially all cereal haters)
7) No using the letter J either. Yuck.
8) You may also choose a German word that fits the same guidelines. However, you will not be given bonus points for this, any English or German story will be looked at in the same light.
9) If you use a word that starts with 'un', such as 'unfathomable', then un does not count as the first syllable. You will still need three more after that.
Good luck to everybody who enters. I believe this contest will bring out some of the best pieces in literature history. I may even help the winner turn their piece into a book deal... after their story is polished up, of course.
P.S. Unlike most of the contests out there, this one will ACTUALLY close on the date specified and not be pushed back many times. In addition, it will be judged very shortly after closing (maybe even before the closing date). There will be no UNNECESSARY waiting due to laziness or other bizarre factors, such as me losing an arm or having been burnt from swimming in a volcano. If a tornado destroys my house, I shall judge from the nearest internet cafe.
P.P.S. Just like my picture, I hope to give you two thumbs up as I sit here in my crazy hat, so don't disappoint, or the tequila may fuel my disappointed comment on your piece.
**
I want your best one word story, only I have a few rules that must be read in ascending order in regards to numerals, and descending order in regards to location on this page :
1) The title must be called the same word as the story. I don't want a fancy title winning me over, because then it is more like a 3-7 word story.
2) The word must be between 3 and 5 syllables.
3) You may only use one of these letters to start your story: B, G, J, M, U, V, X, Z. All other letters are void and null and will lead to a humiliating disqualification.
4) I don't care about what genre you choose to write, but I want your story to apply anywhere from the Proterozoic Era to the year 2129 A.D.
5) Just to make sure you are reading the rules, I have decided to disqualify anybody who uses the letters X or Z.
6) I want a short explanation in your authors notes about why you chose the story. I also want you to list your favorite number and type of cereal (without an explanation). Failure to comply with this will lead to disqualification (especially all cereal haters)
7) No using the letter J either. Yuck.
8) You may also choose a German word that fits the same guidelines. However, you will not be given bonus points for this, any English or German story will be looked at in the same light.
9) If you use a word that starts with 'un', such as 'unfathomable', then un does not count as the first syllable. You will still need three more after that.
Good luck to everybody who enters. I believe this contest will bring out some of the best pieces in literature history. I may even help the winner turn their piece into a book deal... after their story is polished up, of course.
P.S. Unlike most of the contests out there, this one will ACTUALLY close on the date specified and not be pushed back many times. In addition, it will be judged very shortly after closing (maybe even before the closing date). There will be no UNNECESSARY waiting due to laziness or other bizarre factors, such as me losing an arm or having been burnt from swimming in a volcano. If a tornado destroys my house, I shall judge from the nearest internet cafe.
P.P.S. Just like my picture, I hope to give you two thumbs up as I sit here in my crazy hat, so don't disappoint, or the tequila may fuel my disappointed comment on your piece.
**
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on July 4, 2007
- Rewards: Gold: 700
- Final notes: This was very hard to judge. It started out as a joke contest mainly, with lots of sarcasm and parody of other contests... but then I got an abundance of excellent entries. It was really tough to judge, having people I respect enter, such as friends and people I don't know alike who blew me away with their entries. Many were hilarious, contained beautifully constructed irony, had deep personal meanings or argued strongly for why theirs was the best one worded story. At the end of the day, I could only choose one winner, because I felt his was the best one worded story of them all. I'm glad I didn't offer a silver trophy on this one, because I had about seven people tied for second, and that would have been a huge headache.
Results of my survey:
29 people obeyed the rules and gave me excellent entries (ironically, the story titled 'rules' broke them)
16 people preferred a number between 0 and 10
7 people liked the number 7, the most popular number
6 people liked the word 'crunch' in their favorite cereal (would be 7, but one was
technically called 'krunch'
5 people liked the word 'fruit' in their cereal name (a 6th liked fruit on top)
5 people liked their cereal Willy Wonka style, thus wishing for chocolate-like milk
when they finish their cereal.
3 people liked their numbers 1000 or greater.
1 person was left out of this survey (done out of 28, because I somehow missed
writing down their entry)
0 people chose Count Chocula as their favorite
The average favorite number of everyone who participated was 148.93
Although the person who chose 89 as a favorite number was not in any real cluster of numbers, it was the number closest to the average (148.93)
According to this survey, people who like the number 7 are two and a half times more
likely to enjoy a fruity cereal
The person who chose the highest number (1479) will likely have to use the toilet
the most as well, since the person's favorite cereal is Total Raisin BRAN!
(We all know what bran promotes...)
Contest Winners
Gold trophy winner
Entries [30]
1 - 30 of 30
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• Commented on by judge.
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by Taylor Renee <100 words, 5 comments, on Jul 1 10:26 PM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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by CyberSoulmate <100 words, 5 comments, on Jul 2 12:26 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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~*~ / Unpropitious / ~*~by kiwikrazi37 <100 words, 2 comments, on Jul 2 8:07 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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by Abstract Muse <100 words, 3 comments, on Jul 2 8:29 PM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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by TuesdaysChild <100 words, 4 comments, on Jul 3 10:51 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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by Drakenwrite <100 words, 2 comments, on Jul 3 10:53 AM 2007. In Other• Commented on by judge.
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Oh. My Gosh.
You know that you're awesome right?
I am cracking up right now...contest stealer...I mean big brother
You are so much meaner than I am!!!
I seem nice compared to you!
But yours is a lot better than mine. ANd I envy you...you won't get as many as me, because its shorter and stricter. I have lke a million entries already!!!
But I'm glad you did this! You're awesome
lol!
Great contest, and a question----
AM I allowed to enter???
---Your lil sister, who's totally adorable---- -
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Enter away, I would be honored for your story to grace this page, lil sis.
I stole nothing! Mine is a one word story, yours is a poem... lol...and besides, this is quite obviously a parody contest
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Wait.......
In rule three you allow the letter J.
In rule seven you disqualify the letter J.
Is there a love/hate relationship with the letter? Did it break your heart around the time you wrote rules four through six? Darn letter J! Obviously it was a Janus-faced, jelly-bellied, jumentous* jackass of a letter, totally deserving of your justified, juridical judgement against it.
Alas, Juxtiposition would have been a wonderful word to use, but actually I'm becoming rather sick of the letter "J" myself, as I've been staring at the dictionary for the past 10 minutes to find good, insulting J words and the section is growing rather dull....
Hurrah for vocabulary! And alliteration! Both are fine things indeed.
*jumentous - Smelling like horse urine -
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hahahahahaha, thank you for a most sarcastic and fun response.
In regards to your inquiry:
When I was writing rule 6, I was so excited about how good the cereal was tasting as I ate it, I Jammed my spoon too far down my Jugular and almost fainted . That was when Janus (who had Jumentous body odor) came and opened my door, and through it came a Jaguar who was anything but Jolly. When I was bitten by the ferocious Jerk, my skin somehow turned yellow with Jaundice!
SO J WAS JINXED, alright!? That's why rule seven was so harsh... and I stand by my decision! Buy me some Jube Jubes, and maybe I'll change my mind!
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That, or my vanity twin also detests the letter J!!!! *dances* Great contest x.x let me take a moment to process it
*dances*
Edit - one of my dogs is called Janus, lmao!!!
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lol
Wow, kudos for you and your silliness.
My mother is yelling into the phone about life's dramatic events and to think, it's only 8 38 AM. And yet your rules made me laugh.
Anywhos, hmm, yeah. I'm just gonna shut up and enter a word already.
[2] Thumbs up dude. -
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
You rule. -
The hat is pimp bro,ill enter just because of it
-bro -
hahaha
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Bluuuuuuu! This was a fun contest make more!!! It's sodamnfunny and fun! Congratulations to NewGuy for the gold!!!
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sodamnfunny Thanks soda
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omg i love the quarky little stats that you made up so much that i dont even care that i didnt win! oh goodness gracious! so amuzing. either you really care about the opinions of the people in this contest or you have a need for analyzing... or maybe you just have a lot of time on your hands and a great sense of humor. im gunna have to keep tabs on you and your amazing contests. seriously im like your new online stalker... jk.
thanks for the chance and a good morning laugh! -
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hahaha thanks, it's probably a mix of all of those things that you mentioned ( I certainly care about people's all time favorite cereal )
You definitely had one of the best entries as well, you were right in the runnings.
Will I have to lock my windows at night in fears of stalking? lol jk
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Great survey! It was worth entering the contest just to see the survey results.
I'm sure that took way longer than reading the contest entries.
Fun contest too. -
lol Blu.
I loved your survey. That must;ve taken forev...a lot longer than the contest lasted
Awwwesome contest
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lol nope, I did the survey results in no time at all. I am a master statistician
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