Your best.

Lately, I've been scouring library shelves and internet writing sites to find the Next Great Author. This is a lot of work, though, so I decided that I'd try to bring the writing to me instead. That's what this is all about.

Show me that you're the next Alexie, Whitman or Borges. Show me that you're wittier than Adams, more evocative than Poe or sillier than Carroll. Show me you're more realistic than Twain, more passionate than Neruda or cleverer with words than Stoppard.

Show me, in short, your excellence.

Now, I'm not gonna have a set of rules for this. I believe that there is good in every genre and style. I will give you some guidelines and helpful hints, though.

1. Correct grammar, punctuation and spelling are a must. I will disregard this if I believe that it conflicts with your style. (For instance, I would not expect an uneducated character to use perfect sentence construction.)
4. Unintentional and obvious anachronisms really bother me. Please try to keep historically accurate when reasonable.
3. Be clever and original. I like humor and silliness and sharp wit. You'll get brownie points for employing any of these.
4. POEMS DO NOT HAVE TO RHYME. The meter and rhythm of a poem are far more important to me than its rhyme. Anything in iambic pentameter with an ABAB scheme will probably get tossed, no matter how spectacular its content is.
5. Creative non-fiction should be interesting. No surprises there.
6. Keep it at a decent length. I'm not going to waste my time reading your version of "Atlas Shrugged".
7. Tragic love stories are really overdone. Please don't enter one unless you're sure it's something I've never seen before.

Bonus points if you can reference Oscar Wilde, "Hamlet", "Withnail and I", "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" or anything by Lewis Carroll or J.M. Barrie.

Happy writing!

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on October 12
  • Rewards: Gold: 100
  • Final notes:
    Congrats to the winner: "Statistics"! :]

    Thanks everyone for entering. See the note I sent to participants for more final notes on this contest.

Contest Winners

  1. Statistics.
    A man who always fought the urge gives into it.
    by WritersEffigy 2200 words, 123 comments, on Jun 5 4:54 AM 2008. In Crime, Dark, Death, Fiction, First person, Horror, Short story
    Gold trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  2. Seven Shot Symphony
    One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.
    by Ssmm 600 words, 14 comments, on Apr 9 3:03 AM
    Silver trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  3. Anasazi: Last Lament
    All things must end to start again.
    by Valkyrie 900 words, 56 comments, on Sep 5 7:41 PM 2008. In Contest, Historical fiction, Poem, Short story
    Bronze trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]

Entries [30]

1 - 30 of 30

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Psycho Mantis
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    Dude, maybe three people on this site are familiar with all those authors. You're asking for a bouquet of daisies in the south pole, my friend.


    • tonialoise
      September 28
      Edit | Reply
      I'm familiar with all but Stoppard. Wish I wrote as well as half of them.


    • tallblondie gold member
      September 28
      Edit | Reply
      I am - but I am 30. Most of them are highly recommended classical readings. Maybe not many kids would have read/heard of these authors, but there would be a lot of mature writers on this site that have.


    • Tangent Tea Party
      September 29
      Edit | Reply
      I figure someone out there has a greenhouse. If I set my expectations really high, less crap will be submitted.


  • Otacon
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    I second what Anne said.
    I'm going to laugh my ass off if the first story you get involves vampires.

    Good luck !

  • Otacon
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I don't want to read anymore garbage from this site.
    Not editing.

    Also, all of these are over 3000 words. :l

  • tallblondie gold member
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    Stoppard's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" is awesome - I even managed to see it produced on stage by a very talented band of actors. I often quote it as one of the leading works in the exploration of existentialism. Hamlet is one of my favourite Shakespeare plays - the local theatre company did a production recently - and of course, the source of the two main characters of Tom Stoppard's own play. I was also reading and appreciating Lewis Carrol's Alice in Wonderland and through the Looking Glass from around the age of 14.

    I don't write anything like the greats, but I do hope you enjoy the story I have submitted - you asked for gold, and I give you my best.

    • Tangent Tea Party
      September 29
      Edit | Reply
      I have never had the pleasure of seeing it performed D: I did see "Hamlet" as performed by the Canadian Stratford Festival Company. I think that was when I really fell in love with it.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    September 28
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, "R&G are Dead" is one of my favorite plays/movies/books.


  • Farhan gold member
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    Hey, do you have a real problem with rhymes. Because my poem have its meters complete but it rhymes.


  • Sickopath333
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    So let me get this straight. It is understandable that a person does not want to read works that are not grammatically sound, but I do not like being lumped in with everyone else simply because overall the results were bad. There might be a few reasons why you got such lackluster effort (notice how the people you chose as winners were prewrites; in fact only one person didn't use a prewrite!). 1. You offered 100 points for gold, and nothing for any other placers; I'm not going to write something amazing and new for a chance at something so paltry. 2. You asked and complain when you didn't get perfection in grammar, yet on your own list of rules you put rule number 2 as rule number 4. Honest and simple mistake, but that does not inspire people to give much effort. 3. You only bothered commenting on three of the works sent in, and the person you awarded silver was not even commented on; it isn't just you, but I am a little sick of bothering to submit my work into these contests and receiving little to no comments besides, thanks for entering and good luck (a nice gesture and I do appreciate it, but I'd rather have my work torn to pieces so I can improve it than have someone ignore it). 4. Referencing classical authors, no matter how brilliant they are, or even having studied them deeply, does not make you a master of literature. I generally feel aggravation when people chirp up the classics because I often feel the devices they use are not as deep as is oft claimed. Just venting a bit, not really because I was deeply vested into this contest, but because I don't like your attitude.

    • Tangent Tea Party
      October 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for venting! Sometimes I feel that need, too.

      Which is, in fact, why I sent that note. I was disappointed at the lack of excellence at the time--really disappointed--but I think should just lower my standards, because clearly I'm in the wrong here.

      One reason I don't comment is that not everyone wants a critique. And by "not everyone", I mean most people. I'm not about to tear someone's story apart only to have my comments dismissed as the product of my "jealousy". If you want a critique, please say so! I would be more than happy to give one.

      In addition, I don't have that much free time. I enjoyed reading every piece and had ideas about all of them, but I also have work, a family and schoolwork to attend to. I'm sure you think a contest manager should perhaps pay more attention, but the participants are getting nothing except hypothetical points for use on a website. Excuse me if I don't give it first priority.

      As a reader, I'm a little sick of bothering to read a story only to have it turn out to be crap.

      "Masters of literature" were not wanted. Good writers were. All the classics I mentioned are people I consider to be good writers. I agree with you--not every classic writer is good. You'll notice I didn't mention Shakespeare (except Hamlet), who I think is not a very good writer. To be honest, I'm not a very good writer or a "master of literature". I am not particularly well-read. I am, however, an attentive reader and an excellent critic.

      Frankly, I don't really like your attitude either. But I understand that I was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm sure most of the time you are a very sweet, understanding person. Thanks again for commenting. :]

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