Descriptions, the basics

I wrote this for anyone who's asked me how I go about doing my descriptions, hope it helps.

Your story has everything! Great characters, an exciting plot, originality, and more romance and action than anyone could even begin to shake a stick at; yet, your readers don’t seem to be able to see things the way you see them in your head. Why is this? Because my friend, you lack vibrant descriptions.

You’re probably ready to start arguing right about now, tell me that your descriptions are wonderful. Well, if their wonderful and you don’t have problems with people telling you that they need improvement than stop reading right here and go find the column you were looking for; however, if you know you need help than sit back down and continue reading.

I seem to get a lot of questions from people asking how they can improve their descriptions (usually after I’ve told them that their stories could use a little more of them) and I tend to tire typing everything out again and again so for those people who keep asking, here’s all I know.

YOU HAVE FIVE SENSES USE THEM!

~The room was far grander than I had ever imagined. Intricate paintings of bloody war scenes, scriptural reenactments, and beautiful maidens lined the blood red walls, each perfectly strait, seemingly in its well thought out place. The floor was nothing more than one large slab of perfectly polished onyx colored marble that appeared to glow as it reflected the light from the overhead chandeliers. In the center of the marble floor rose a large cherry wood table that dwarfed anything I had ever imagined sensible. It was at this table that he sat, hunched under the weight of many years of hard labor.

What’s missing from that description? Read it carefully… ready? It lacks four of the five senses. Assuming that I was to leave the descriptions at that my readers would only know what the surroundings looked like. Why does it matter if they only know what they look like? How would you like to go about your life with only the ability to see? How would you like to not be able to smell, taste, feel, or hear? I doubt your characters would like it.

Let’s look at some more examples, both with and without the other four senses.

~Slowly the child twisted the candy cane between his fingers admiring the twirl of red and white before popping one end into his mouth.

~Slowly the child twisted the candy cane between his sticky fingers admiring the twirl of red and white before popping one end into his mouth in order to taste the sharp peppermint flavor that he loved flood his taste buds.

In the first one the only sense used is sight which only tells what the child saw and nothing more. The second however used three different senses (sight, touch, and taste) which gives a better reflection as to what the child was experiencing.

~Slowly the boy dragged himself to his feet brushing his golden-blond hair out of his eyes.

~With a slight groan the boy painfully dragged himself to his feet before brushing his golden-blond hair out of his eyes.

Once more in the first example I only used sight but in the second I used sight, hearing/sound, and feeling/touch. He groaned, he felt pain, and he got himself off the ground.

Now let’s examine a paragraph that was written by my friend Shikasgirl:

~Mattison Grey sat in a shadowed corner in the back of the Jolly Mime Pub. The lights that surrounded her were dim, the smell of beer and grilled entrees hung heavily in the air. The clanging of dishes and cups were nearly drowned out by the buzz of people that filled the area. But, the joyful aura that filled the restaurant faded to nothing at the forgotten corner where Mattison sat; looking at them as tears burned behind her wide brown eyes. (Sheaagos Chapter one first paragraph)

While she did not use every sense she used enough so that the reader could clearly put themselves in Mattison’s position. Using all five senses for every scene may prove to be overkill more than anything else. She was describing the Jolly Pub so what she felt or tasted was not important for this scene but if Mattison had been drinking something or touching something than she would have wanted to describe it (she does later in the chapter).

Basically just remember that you have FIVE senses not just one.

SUBTLE DESCRIPTIONS

Right now you may be thinking ‘wait… that’s a lot of descriptions. Am I supposed to keep that up all the time?’

No

You only need to do that when describing important places, people, and events. At other times you can use subtle descriptions, or short descriptions that add to something else.

Before: He had brown eyes.
After: He had soft lucid brown eyes.
(I only added two words to that but it changed it completely).

Before: Stepping out of the dim building I realized the sun was setting beyond the horizon.
After: Stepping out of the dim building I realized the sun was setting beyond the horizon streaking the deep blue sky with streaks of red and orange.

Before: Slowly she licked her lips before replying.
After: Slowly she licked her chapped lips before replying.
(One word)

Before: He heard his mother call his name
After: Suddenly his mother’s sharp voice broke the silence as she called his name.

Before: She smelled the flowers
After: She smelled the sweet but comforting scent of the flowers.

You don’t have to add a lot to make a huge change in your readers understanding in the images you want to portray.

Here are some suggested words to use for a subtle change of meaning
Lucid
Gray-blue (any two colors will work)
Hesitantly
Lightly
Dark-‘color’
Light-‘color’
Faintly (she ‘faintly’ heard him say)
Pungent
Fragrant
Soft
Bitter (slowly she drank the bitter tea)
Slowly or quickly (he ‘slowly’ got up)

Do you get the point?

HOW DO I PRACTICE?

Alright, now you know the basics so how do you go about practicing them?

There are two ways I can think of off the top of my head.

First
Close your eyes, reach out with one hand and grab an object blindly (you can go elsewhere if you have to), open your eyes, look at the object, sit down at your computer and describe every detail of that object, how does it feel under your fingertips? How does it smell? What does it look like? You can even taste it if you’re daring. Tap it, what does it sound like? Describe it in a paragraph. Do this a couple times, than try doing it with objects in your stories.

Second
Close your eyes, delve into your memory and retrieve a recent memory that is still very vivid, keep your eyes close and begin typing everything you can remember about that even. The smells, sights, tastes, sounds, sensation, and scents. Describe everything you can. Open your eyes and read what you typed. Now try and type it into a proper paragraph. Do this a few times than try doing it with a story.

Just keep practicing, it gets easier! Soon it may even become second nature.

Hope that helped at least a little!