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28 thoughts

1* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

5* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

6* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw
it.

7* How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

9* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

10* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

11* Was learning cursive really necessary?

12* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

13* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

14* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

15* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

16* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

17* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

18* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

19* Bad decisions and bad experiences make good stories

20* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

21* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

22* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

23* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

24* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

25* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

26* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

27* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

28* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet my butt everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...


Got this in one of those fwd emails.

Some of these are really so-guy stuff, especially #14. Very funny, I've seen them do it.

I'm highly tempted to post my own, LOL!

#7 - don't fold the fitted sheet, leave it to the wife. Men can never do it properly.

Did you know the road to divorce starts in the bedroom? It's the fitted sheets that do it.

Use flat sheets - there's nothing quite like the meeting of eyes over a perfectly, neatly tucked and fresh sheet

4 and 21 had me rolling. 4 because it was clever, and 21 because it's so friggin' familiar.

27!!! I'm like that. There's a few more, too.