Forums / About Writing /
Dan Brownisms

I found this yesterday: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/6194031/The-Lost-Symbol-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code-author-Dan-Browns-20-worst-sentences.html

I was both amused and appalled at the level of criticism aimed at Brown's writing in this blog. I guess it goes to show that there are all levels of editors and publishers out there. And that everybody's a critic.

Some of the 20 seemed clearly flawed to me (read: I'd write them differently on principle), while others felt just fine, or were a matter of taste.

The funniest part is if you scroll down through the comments, or just search for (they're predictable on both sides of the issue) a long one posted by Darian T. Wright on September 17, 2009. It's a hilarious parody of Dan Brown's style that had me in stitches.

EDIT: Omg, this is hilarious. An interactive site that will randomly generate Dan Brown's next plot. Read: because they're formulaic. http://www.slate.com/id/2228327/?from=rss

I bet Dan never thought his book would be such a target--for and against.

Here's a dude who wrote a story and had it published and it took off and suddenly he's famous (or infamous) depending on what side of the pond people are fishing in--I likedthe story and enjoyed the movie...I like to compare the book form to the movie one and it evened out.

Hmmm... ok. I'm going to repost/comment on these as I go along if I seem fit. Really, just minor things about it.

-16. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

A silhouette with white hair and pink irises stood chillingly close but 15 feet away. What’s wrong with this picture? -

The 'voice' spoke chillingly close--it's never mentioned that the silhouette itself is chilling close. A voice can speak close but can be far away if it's speaking through some sort of medium (i.e, an electronic device or telekinesis.)

-15. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: As a boy, Langdon had fallen down an abandoned well shaft and almost died treading water in the narrow space for hours before being rescued. Since then, he'd suffered a haunting phobia of enclosed spaces - elevators, subways, squash courts.

Other enclosed spaces include toilet cubicles, phone boxes and dog kennels. -

The criticism there is really unnecessary, particularly because there's no need to enlist 'all' enclosed spaces. It's more of an attack than a valid critique.

-The Da Vinci Code, chapter 5: Only those with a keen eye would notice his 14-karat gold bishop's ring with purple amethyst, large diamonds, and hand-tooled mitre-crozier appliqué.

A keen eye indeed.-

Again, rather unnecessary critisim.

-13 and 12. The Lost Symbol, chapter 1: He was sitting all alone in the enormous cabin of a Falcon 2000EX corporate jet as it bounced its way through turbulence. In the background, the dual Pratt & Whitney engines hummed evenly.

The Da Vinci Code, chapter 17: Yanking his Manurhin MR-93 revolver from his shoulder holster, the captain dashed out of the office.

Oh – the Falcon 2000EX with the Pratt & Whitneys? And the Manurhin MR-93? Not the MR-92? You’re sure? Thanks. -

Again, I don't get the point of the criticism. It's pretty invalid when its the author describing the work, not the critiquer.

I'm not going to go into details about all of it (since it's rather unnecessary,) but you get my point. Little nitpicky things here and there aren't really important. I've found most critiquers tend to use sarcasm as a way to make their comments seem valid.

Eh, I can't say I like Dan Brown's style, but whoever wrote this article is absolutely anal.

There are historians that use the name 'Da Vinci'. God forbid the words a man is referred to by evolves into a legitimate name! It's not like that been happening for centuries or anything...