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Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous

Keep on talking and maybe one day you'll say something intelligent.

Sometimes I wonder ' Why is that Frisbee getting bigger' and then it hits me...

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

You and me is friends. You cry, I cry. You smile I smile. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I gonna miss your emails…

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!

You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best!

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me...

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

Everything is okay in the end, if it isn’t okay, then it’s not the end.

When nothing goes right... go left.

Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realise why it never worked with anyone else.

Nobody is worth your tears, and the people who are won’t make you cry.

Life is a journey, not a destination. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Be yourself because there is no one like you.

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