RonnieTheGod• Show stories

Hello.
My name is Ronnie, but call me what you will, I do not care too much. I am 20 years old. I am a personal trainer at a gym, I absolutely love my job, and could not ask for a better one.

I also do volunteer EMT work, which is also an amazing job, tons of cool new things to see. And I just generally like helping people.

I am the proud brother of 4 sisters, ages 19, 13, 8, and 4. They mean more to me than basically anyone, I would do anything for them, and I protect them with my life. I am also engaged to an amazing woman, who will be birthing our first child in March of 2010. Feel free to message me or comment if you wish to talk.


He covers his junk!! ™
Yeah, that line is trademarked by me, so stop saying it as if you all said it first.



EXTRA INFORMATION YOU DID NOT NEED TO KNOW:
Eye Color: Brown.
Hair Color: Brown.
Height: 6'4.
Favorite Color: Blue.
Screen Name: Depends on what...RonnieTheGod usually
(Inside joke).
Favorite Band: Aerosmith.
Favorite Movie: No idea.
Favorite Show: No idea.
Your Car: 2007 Sebring, 2008 Cadillac Escalade Platinum.
Your Hometown: Carcassonne, France, Cap Rouge, Quebec.
Your Present Town: Beauport, Quebec




JUDGEMENT:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and your
vote counts. Here are the facts about the three
leading candidates:

Candidate "A":
1. Associates with crooked politicians
2. Consults with astrologists
3. Has had two mistresses
4. Chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

Candidate "B":
1. Was kicked out of office twice
2. Sleeps until noon
3. Used opium in college
4. Drinks a quart of whisky every evening

Candidate "C":
1. He is a decorated war hero
2. He's a vegetarian
3. Doesn't smoke
4. Drinks an occasional beer
5. Hasn't had any extramarital affairs

Which of these candidates would be your choice?


Candidate "A" is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate "B" is Winston Churchill
Candidate "C" is Adolph Hitler



ROUND NUMBER TWO:
A woman is pregnant and already has 8 children;
3 are blind; 2 are deaf; and she has syphilis. Would
you recommend that she have an abortion?

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If you said yes, you just said to kill Beethoven.


Perhaps thinking before judging next time?
Remember amateurs built the ark.
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Professionals built the Titanic.









USELESS INFORMATION:
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime

Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabet Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.


Rats and horses cannot vomit.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They do not appear
until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

If the population of China walked past you in single file,
the line would never end because of the rate of
reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you
will spend an average of 6 months waiting at a red
light.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze
completely solid.

Your stomach had to produce a new layer of mucus
every 2 weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy
dog" uses every letter in the alphabet.







GOT THIS IN AN E-MAIL:
LIFE: Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food.. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got
from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus..

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is ... . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is .. . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . .. having money.
At age 70 success is . .. .. having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.