Rayn at Story write

Hello, all! Crazy man Constant Rain is here and ready for all assasination attempts. FEAR ME!!! LMAO! Sorry, I'm okay, just a little touched in my head. My name's Rain (no, this is not my actual name, but that's all you're gonna get here.). I'm 18 and I'm a freshman in college. I'm gay, so if you have a problem... I don't give a damn! I have heard everyone criticizing me and making fun of me, I really care what you have to say. It's not fun and it makes me want to hurt you, so let's all be nice, eh?

Let's see, I've always been a writer at heart, I think, but until the start of this year, I never did anything with it. I finally found my genre, though, and now yaoi (boy-boy relationship type stuff) is all I can write well. I know that some people think that it is... a disgusting thing, but to me, it is just another muse that helps me express myself. I'm sorry if you don't see it that way, but I can't help you there. All I can do is interpret what I feel and present it to you, free of the other thoughts that wander through my head, and hopefully you all understand that enough to at least give an unbiased opinion of the writing, enough if you don't like the style or genre.

For me, I think, any writing type is just another facet of information to familiarize yourself with. No matter what it is, be it Western, Romance, Shojo, Shonen, or anything, it is a style of writing that will be used. Just knowing what it is isn't enough for me. You actually have to read through a certain style to get the grasp. It doesn't have to be a favorite, but as they say I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

As it stands, I am (fortunately and unfortunately) single. It becomes painfully obvious with each passing day that I can't stand being without someone, and yet a relationship always goes down the tubes with me. Maybe I haven't found the right one... who knows anymore...

Anyway, enough about that. I'm just a semi-crazy teenager trying to find his place in this world. I can't help if I step on a few toes, but it's just so much fun. I know that there must be a few people that are interested, so please, if you have any questions or just want to talk, message me, even if I'm off. Thanks for visiting and goodbye!!!

Member since March 12, 2007.
When I'm not writing, I'm just me, no strings attatched.
I am a 21 year old guy from Texas (United States)
I have 41 comments, 98 poems, 9 stories, 3 journals

My Stories

1 - 4 of 9 Show all • Search

Floating In Fantasy, Ch. 5

1600 words, 3 comments, September 21, 2007. In Adult/young adult, Fanfiction, Yaoi
Floating in Fantasy, Ch. 4

1400 words, 4 comments, September 1, 2007. In Adult/young adult, Fanfiction, Yaoi
Floating in Fantasy, Ch. 3

1700 words, 12 comments, July 19, 2007. In Adult/young adult, Fanfiction, Yaoi
Floating in Fantasy, Ch.2

1000 words, 7 comments, June 21, 2007. In Adult/young adult, Fanfiction, Yaoi

My Poetry

1 - 3 of 98 Show all at allpoetry

Thoughts of Aliens

Waiting for you
In this lonely place

<100 words, 2 comments, September 8. In Not applicable d
Broken Promises

Who do you blame
When all are blameless?

<100 words, July 20. In Personal
The Kill

The body at my feet
Doesn't look like you

100 words, July 15. In Weird

My other items

1 - 3 of 60 Show all

Column: New Story That Has Yet To Be Named at allpoetry
Not done yet!!! Just posting so I can continue to add more on via the interwebs!
Column: Loneliness at allpoetry
Just a few words on how things have been going the last few days.
Rayn at allpoetry
I look at the overcast sky
Hoping that maybe,

My journal entries

I Have Finally Lost My Mind

May 7, In A little happy, Personal, Random. 600 words. All. 0 comments.

You know that point in life where, as you come upon it, your mind decides that any inhibitions you carry are useless baggage and proceeds to do away with it all while you sleep? It really kind of sneaks up on you, which makes it all the worse, because when you realize what's happened you come to a startling conclusion that...

You carried that crap around for years!!!

What were you thinking, right? I mean, if it took that much effort to feel this good about all the things you...
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You know that point in life where, as you come upon it, your mind decides that any inhibitions you carry are useless baggage and proceeds to do away with it all while you sleep? It really kind of sneaks up on you, which makes it all the worse, because when you realize what's happened you come to a startling conclusion that...

You carried that crap around for years!!!

What were you thinking, right? I mean, if it took that much effort to feel this good about all the things you were keeping inside, what was your problem? Of course, it's at that point that you have completely gone off the deep end. For some, it's a side effect of other stimuli (love, depression, soul crushing hatred, etc.), and for others it's the next step of growth. This is what adults have and what makes them so unbelievably resilient to their kids. You've got a ship to run, and some little brat who thinks he or she has discovered the world at age 8 thinks to one up you before they are even out of diapers! What a little punk, right?

Of course, I don't speak of anything in particular. It's just something that I woke up with (or without) this morning and... I felt a bit better. So much has revolved around certain events of my life lately (anyone who knows anything about my personal life knows what I'm getting at), and it feels good to get some space in between me and them.

Well, it was anyway.

You see, I have this problem. I have someone that, even with my inhibitions thrown out the door, I still think about way too much for it to be any kind of healthy. That being said, I enjoy all the unhealthy time I spend thinking about that someone. You may (or may not, depending on your appetite of depression) have read the last two journals about an individual (codenamed Yuki) that has kept my interest well past the point of any kind of return. Well, there has been a development... Or at least I believe that something has changed. I know it's foolish to jump on any chance that presents itself, but I can't help but be (dare I say it?) hopeful that 'If you love someone, let them go' might actually have been somewhat true (that being said, I imagine you have to actually let go). Yuki might be reading this eventually (no guarantee on that), and if said person is reading this... I don't really know what to say that I haven't said before. I have been a whiny, no account ass (on more than one occasion, I assure you) to you. Despite my own emotions and feelings o...
Another Look At Yuki

May 5, In Personal. 500 words. All. 0 comments.

It has been a while since I found the energy to write up a journal, and I think I'm strong enough to bear another soul for the internet to see. It has been... roughly a month and three weeks since last Yuki and I were a pair. The pain has dissipated slowly, but the memories are still powerful and can take away the small semblance of hope that is trying to grow in me. My thoughts still have no room for any other save for Yuki, a fact which is growing to be very discomforting in all the wrong w...
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It has been a while since I found the energy to write up a journal, and I think I'm strong enough to bear another soul for the internet to see. It has been... roughly a month and three weeks since last Yuki and I were a pair. The pain has dissipated slowly, but the memories are still powerful and can take away the small semblance of hope that is trying to grow in me. My thoughts still have no room for any other save for Yuki, a fact which is growing to be very discomforting in all the wrong ways. Communication has been cut off between us (has been for some time, now that I think on it). Even while we both inhabit AllPoetry, not a word is exchanged. I have wondered to myself in those times where I deny that I'm hoping for him to say something:

Have I been the only one hurting through all of this?

Maybe I am just a sensitive soul. Evidence up to this point has said as much, but that's beside the point. I have always believed that if we shared the same feelings, neither of us could really feel alive again. I was hoping so much on that to be fact... Have I been wrong? Could Yuki have truly... moved on so easily? It brings questions over if those feelings Yuki held for me were even there to begin with. It used to hurt to think about such things, but now it has become a slowly embraced truth. I have hoped every day that something will change, that maybe I will wake up and realize that this last month and three weeks has been nothing but a very long fiction.

I hate to say it, but I haven't woken up yet.

It doesn't help that every time I see his screen name pop up that I feel so insecure. I want to say everything I'm thinking and beg anew for Yuki to reconsider, to yell and scream and get angry and make a general ass of myself. I've done it once, so repeat performances would not be an issue. And yet... I say nothing and keep to myself, continually hoping that he will approach me in my self imposed solitude. I am a fool, through and through, and I don't need anyone telling me as much.

I recently found a job, and that has kept me busy and thoughts away from Yuki (or at least while I work). It's a little challenging, but it's far from fast food and that's an ever present plus. In case you didn't know, I hate fast food employment with a passion (thank you to Sonic for ruining that experience for me).

Anyway, so that's what's been happening to me lately. I write a poem, vie for attention, and receive nothing for ...
Just Writing What Will Come

March 28, In Personal. 700 words. All. 0 comments.

My first journal entry... I can't say I've ever felt confused on how to start one, considering I've never put one on the internet. I guess I'll just... start.

There have been some things that have had me down lately, down meaning walking the dagger's edge of madness and deciding on whether the bottom is filled with lethal goodies or not. Honestly, sometimes I think it might not be half bad to leap from that precipice of no return and let things occur as they will. That's never been m...
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My first journal entry... I can't say I've ever felt confused on how to start one, considering I've never put one on the internet. I guess I'll just... start.

There have been some things that have had me down lately, down meaning walking the dagger's edge of madness and deciding on whether the bottom is filled with lethal goodies or not. Honestly, sometimes I think it might not be half bad to leap from that precipice of no return and let things occur as they will. That's never been my way, though. I hate not having some modicum of control over my own life. It's... well, downright disturbing, but I digress. I have been having some relationship problems... No, that's not the right way to put that... I've been having conflicts concerning life and beyond. There is someone (hereby referred to as Yuki) out there with whom I have come to treasure dearly, above my own life, and that person is... Precious. With Yuki, my worries have the ability to melt away and give me reprieve, if only for a moment. I feel that things have purpose in life, a meaning that had eluded me, and in that time spent with this person I have breathed anew. If there was only one complaint, it would be that I am not as close as I would like to be.

Okay, there's a state between the two of us.

I'm not saying that I have a problem being so far away. I find more about people being this far away than I do looking right at them. It's always been like this for me, I think. That being said, I know that the miles between us is not an easy thing. I can't pretend that I haven't needed someone's touch, a hug, a word of assurance whispered to me and only me (and I am all but certain the same applies to Yuki). There were plans for the two of us to meet in my state (parental opinion prevented a meeting in Yuki's) and for a week, the two of us would be together. That was my... my fantasy. Always there was the thought of finally being able to hold onto the embodiment of all that I had come to know in computer text and voice alone. It was exhilarating and nerve wracking and amazing and... It was every emotion you can have all rolled into one tiny ball that was set to go off in just a second.

However... a few weeks ago (three or four. I honestly have had issue figuring out that because reality has been so skewed for me)... Well, Yuki broke it off. The distance between us was too much for him... The first day, I was sure it was just some bad occurrence that had Yuki thinkin...

Guest Book

1 - 4 of 5 Show all

Zach...thats me on September 9, 2007

hiya im zack nice to meet up
Lost.Heaven on September 9, 2007

Okay I can't sleep because of my insomnia so I'm leaving everyone guestbooks. Here's yours! Isn't is pretty? I think so! I think it's magnificently pretty! Well talk to you later Lan.

LOVES YA!
MWAHZ!
Lost.Heaven on September 6, 2007

Laaaan...I'm so bored. I think I feel the boredom eating at my already non-existant brain. Uggggh. *falls on face* I have fallen and I frakking REFUSE to get up unless someone gives me something to do.
Lost.Heaven on September 2, 2007

I just decided to leave you another guestbook, Lan, to show that when I'm not all hyped up with sugar and caffine I can be normal. Yes I am a human! Maybe I can talk to you tonight after I get back from the fair!

LOVES YA!
MWAHZ!

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