I don't..really know anymore.
WTF.
"I don't know what has driven me to this insanity, but all I do know is of rebellion. Rebellion can save lives, and it can dispose of lives. What got me here at this point was, indeed, rebellion. I couldn't be told what to do, and only when I followed said instructions. I was never a good actress. I couldn't be arsed to fake.
Which is why I got caught. Which is why I need to end this now. I've been pinning down each secret I didn't tell you, and it hurt. Amazingly, it seared me. I have a mindset which I know I won't be able to change. I've been trying to get some help, hence the counselor situation, but that never succeeded.
I think I grew up way too fast and I do understand. its just my arrogance holding back things. My mindless acts, I suppose, draws the image in me. I can't be scared, I need to do this now. I don't know what's going to happen on the other side; if my beliefs were right or otherwise. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. I believe in reincarnation. I hope in my next life I'll find another way.
For now, I'm sorry to leave you with such few words on my part that don't being to describe what's going on inside me. I don't even think I can describe such. My dreams, my hopes, my aspirations. Gone. I know, I know, I'm such a weakling and pathetic one at that to have to resort to such an act.
I thought...death was normal. i thought that thinking about suicide at such a young age, was a normal thing, everyone did that. I don't know anymore. I can't get into others heads, nor can I seem to with mine own. I guess I'm unstable." - Astarael Rue, Wednesday, April 29, 2009.
rest in peace, my love.
WTF.
"I don't know what has driven me to this insanity, but all I do know is of rebellion. Rebellion can save lives, and it can dispose of lives. What got me here at this point was, indeed, rebellion. I couldn't be told what to do, and only when I followed said instructions. I was never a good actress. I couldn't be arsed to fake.
Which is why I got caught. Which is why I need to end this now. I've been pinning down each secret I didn't tell you, and it hurt. Amazingly, it seared me. I have a mindset which I know I won't be able to change. I've been trying to get some help, hence the counselor situation, but that never succeeded.
I think I grew up way too fast and I do understand. its just my arrogance holding back things. My mindless acts, I suppose, draws the image in me. I can't be scared, I need to do this now. I don't know what's going to happen on the other side; if my beliefs were right or otherwise. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. I believe in reincarnation. I hope in my next life I'll find another way.
For now, I'm sorry to leave you with such few words on my part that don't being to describe what's going on inside me. I don't even think I can describe such. My dreams, my hopes, my aspirations. Gone. I know, I know, I'm such a weakling and pathetic one at that to have to resort to such an act.
I thought...death was normal. i thought that thinking about suicide at such a young age, was a normal thing, everyone did that. I don't know anymore. I can't get into others heads, nor can I seem to with mine own. I guess I'm unstable." - Astarael Rue, Wednesday, April 29, 2009.
rest in peace, my love.
- Member since April 7, 2007.
- My mood is
, and quote is "oh yeah.". - I am a 15 year old girl from Hawaii (Italy)
- When I'm not writing, I'm adfghjkl;.
- I have 114 comments, 2 contests, 10 poems, 5 stories
My Stories
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My heart thudded,1
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I Don’t Mind / I don’t mind if you love someone else, / As long as your love’s not wasted. / I don’t mind if you cry, / As long as she didn’t make you. / I don’t mind if you don’t feel
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Instinct: / 1. An inborn pattern of behavior that is characteristic of a species and is often a response to specific environmental stimuli: the spawning instinct in salmon; altruistic instincts in social anim1000 words, 3 comments, May 30, 2007. In Adventure, Crime, Fiction, First person, Personal, Short story
My Poetry
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drown me in gasoline or did you need me?
My other items
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- tracked on train tracks at allpoetry
striped lines cross my fingertips - untitled at allpoetry
if you say you can pull me along the way - don't fake your situations at allpoetry
drown me in gasoline or did you need me?
Guest Book
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Rick : asdfghjkl.:] on July 25, 2008HAI...
HALLO?
HALLO?
HALLOW?
BAI.
