I LOVE CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a kittycat. I
my basket! It has squashy pillows and a soft, woolly, fluffy blanket, baby blue. It matches my eyes 
IF U LUV CHOCOLATE PUT THIS ON UR PAGE!
----------------------
H|E|R|S|H|E|Y|S|
----------------------
Don't Label Me
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
I'm Not A Soup Can !
┌─┐ ─┐
│▒│ /▒/
│▒│/▒/
│▒ /▒/─┬─┐
│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘
Let's rock.
/+88______________________________
_+880_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
__+880_________________________++_
__+888________________________+88_
__++880______________________+88__
__++888_____+++88__________+++8__
__++8888__+++8880++88____+++88___
__+++8888+++8880++8888__++888____
___++888++8888+++888888++888_____
___++88++8888++8888888++888______ Music Is Life!
___++++++888888888888888888______
____++++++88888888888888888______
____++++++++000888888888888______
_____+++++++000088888888888______
______+++++++00088888888888______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
________+++++++8888888888________
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________++++++0088888888_________
________+++++0008888888__________
╔══╗ ♫
║██║ Put this ipod on your profile if you
║(0)♫ love music!
╚══╝
╔══╦╦╦╦╦╗╔╦═╦╦╦══╗
╚╗╔╣║║║║║║║║║╩╠╗╔╝ Put this on your profile
─║║║║║║║╚╣╠╗║║║║║─ if you
Twiight!
─╚╝╚══╩╩═╩╩═╩╩╝╚╝─
----///\\----- Please
---///-\\\---- Put This
--|||---|||--- On Your
--|||---|||--- page If
--|||---|||--- You Know
---\\\-///---- Someone
----\\///----- Who Died
-----///\----- Of Or Has
----///\\\----Cancer
My grandmother HAD cancer, but she survived yay!
( \/ )
( O.o)
( >"<)
/_|_\ This is Mr. Bunny. Please paste him to your page to help him with his mission to DOMINATE the world!!
♥_♥_♥___♥_♥_ Put this
♥___♥_♥___♥ heart
_♥___♥___♥_ on your
__♥_____♥__ page if
___♥___♥___ you love
____♥_♥____ someone
_____♥_____ very much
~~~~~~~
| ..|
| ..| Put this on your page
| ..| If you've ever pushed
| .O.| a door that said
| ..| pull on it.
| ..|
| ..|
EVER WONDER WHY???
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
LOL INSTRUCTIONS
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
AWESOME MSN STUFF!
star:
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)
(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)
(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
peace sign:
(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)
(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)
(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(*)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)
(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)
(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)
rock on hand:
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
moon:
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)
heart:
(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)
(L)
i luv u:
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
smiley face:
:|:|:|:|:|:@:@:@:@:|:|:|:|:|
:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:@:|:|:@:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:@:|:|:@:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:@:|:|:@:@:|:|:@:|:|:|
:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|:@:|:|:|:|
:|:|:|:|:|:@:@:@:@:|:|:|:|:|
lol:
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@
:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@
* .-'''-.,.-"'-. +
( ! SWEET ! . *
+ ". DREAMS ." (
* . "'-.,.-'" + .
9 THINGS I HATE!!
1. People who point at their wrists while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where on Earth is yours? Do youpoint at your crotch when you ask for the time?
2. People who are willing to get off their butts to search the entire room for the TV remote, just because they can't be bothered to go the five steps to change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake, and eat it, too!" Duh! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look, isn't it?" Of course it is, why on EARTH would you keep looking once you find it?
5. When people say whilst watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, I paid $12 to stare at the cinema's floor. NOT!
6. People who ask,"Can I ask you a question?" Well, you didn't really give me a chance, there, did ya?
7. When something is "new and improved". Either it's new, as in there's nothing like it before it, or its improved, which means it's better than the last one. It can't be both!
8. When people say, "Life it short." No it's not! It's the longest thing we do!!!
9. Waiting for the bus, when someone says, "Has the bus come yet?" Of course it has, I'm just standing here cuz I feel like it, not waiting for a bus. NOT!
BLONDE JOKES!! 'em!
A blonde, brunette and red head are on a tribal island. The tribal leader says that they will let them go if they can manage to stick five pieces of fruit up their bum without laughing. If not, the tribe will kill them.
First, the brunette tried sticking apples up her bum, but she couldn't get them all in, so the tribe killes her.
Then the red head tried to stick berries up her bum, but when she was about to stick the fifth berry up her bum when she started laughing. The tribe killed her.
Up in Heaven, the brunette asked why the red head laughed.
"I saw the blonde trying to stick pineapples up her butt!"
What does a blonde call her zebra?
Spot.
A blonde was trying to do a puzzle. She couldn't figure it out, so she called her boyfriend to help her.He asked her what it was supposed to be. "A rooster," she replied. Her boyfriend came over and looked at the pieces spread over the breakfast table.
"Okay, honey. Why don't we sit back, relax, and put the corn flakes back in the box."
A blonde was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didnt like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart. In order to prove herself, she chose to memorise the capital of every American state.
It wasnt an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.
A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past she would set these men straight!
Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, It isnt true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is.
Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, Ok, how about Arizona?
The blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,A!
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it. She say in her sweetest voice, "Potato."
There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts to clap...
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken
What did the blonde do when she missed the 66 Bus?
She took the 33 bus twice instead
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
She couldn't find the recipe.
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Scroll Down. --->
<----- Scroll Up.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind!!!
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?
Because it said "concentrate."
How Do You Confuse A Dumd Blonde?
Put Her In A Room Shaped Like A Circle And Say Go Sit In The Corner
Okay, so most blondes aren't dumb. (ie not my blonde friend). In fact, the smartest girls in my class are blonde, but still, I blonde mos!
Kitty xo
I am a kittycat. I
my basket! It has squashy pillows and a soft, woolly, fluffy blanket, baby blue. It matches my eyes IF U LUV CHOCOLATE PUT THIS ON UR PAGE!
----------------------
H|E|R|S|H|E|Y|S|
----------------------
Don't Label Me
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
I'm Not A Soup Can !
┌─┐ ─┐
│▒│ /▒/
│▒│/▒/
│▒ /▒/─┬─┐
│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘
Let's rock.
/+88______________________________
_+880_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
__+880_________________________++_
__+888________________________+88_
__++880______________________+88__
__++888_____+++88__________+++8__
__++8888__+++8880++88____+++88___
__+++8888+++8880++8888__++888____
___++888++8888+++888888++888_____
___++88++8888++8888888++888______ Music Is Life!
___++++++888888888888888888______
____++++++88888888888888888______
____++++++++000888888888888______
_____+++++++000088888888888______
______+++++++00088888888888______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
_______+++++++088888888888_______
________+++++++8888888888________
________+++++++0088888888________
________++++++0088888888_________
________+++++0008888888__________
╔══╗ ♫
║██║ Put this ipod on your profile if you
║(0)♫ love music!
╚══╝
╔══╦╦╦╦╦╗╔╦═╦╦╦══╗
╚╗╔╣║║║║║║║║║╩╠╗╔╝ Put this on your profile
─║║║║║║║╚╣╠╗║║║║║─ if you
Twiight!─╚╝╚══╩╩═╩╩═╩╩╝╚╝─
----///\\----- Please
---///-\\\---- Put This
--|||---|||--- On Your
--|||---|||--- page If
--|||---|||--- You Know
---\\\-///---- Someone
----\\///----- Who Died
-----///\----- Of Or Has
----///\\\----Cancer
My grandmother HAD cancer, but she survived
yay!( \/ )
( O.o)
( >"<)
/_|_\ This is Mr. Bunny. Please paste him to your page to help him with his mission to DOMINATE the world!!
♥_♥_♥___♥_♥_ Put this
♥___♥_♥___♥ heart
_♥___♥___♥_ on your
__♥_____♥__ page if
___♥___♥___ you love
____♥_♥____ someone
_____♥_____ very much
~~~~~~~
| ..|
| ..| Put this on your page
| ..| If you've ever pushed
| .O.| a door that said
| ..| pull on it.
| ..|
| ..|
EVER WONDER WHY???
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
LOL INSTRUCTIONS
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
AWESOME MSN STUFF!
star:
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)
(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)
(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(*)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(*)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)(S)
peace sign:
(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)
(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)
(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(*)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)
(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)
(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(8)
(8)(8)(8)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(*)(8)(8)(8)(8)
rock on hand:
(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)
(6)(6)(6)moon:
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heart:
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smiley face:
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9 THINGS I HATE!!
1. People who point at their wrists while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where on Earth is yours? Do youpoint at your crotch when you ask for the time?
2. People who are willing to get off their butts to search the entire room for the TV remote, just because they can't be bothered to go the five steps to change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake, and eat it, too!" Duh! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look, isn't it?" Of course it is, why on EARTH would you keep looking once you find it?
5. When people say whilst watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, I paid $12 to stare at the cinema's floor. NOT!
6. People who ask,"Can I ask you a question?" Well, you didn't really give me a chance, there, did ya?
7. When something is "new and improved". Either it's new, as in there's nothing like it before it, or its improved, which means it's better than the last one. It can't be both!
8. When people say, "Life it short." No it's not! It's the longest thing we do!!!
9. Waiting for the bus, when someone says, "Has the bus come yet?" Of course it has, I'm just standing here cuz I feel like it, not waiting for a bus. NOT!
BLONDE JOKES!!
'em!A blonde, brunette and red head are on a tribal island. The tribal leader says that they will let them go if they can manage to stick five pieces of fruit up their bum without laughing. If not, the tribe will kill them.
First, the brunette tried sticking apples up her bum, but she couldn't get them all in, so the tribe killes her.
Then the red head tried to stick berries up her bum, but when she was about to stick the fifth berry up her bum when she started laughing. The tribe killed her.
Up in Heaven, the brunette asked why the red head laughed.
"I saw the blonde trying to stick pineapples up her butt!"
What does a blonde call her zebra?
Spot.
A blonde was trying to do a puzzle. She couldn't figure it out, so she called her boyfriend to help her.He asked her what it was supposed to be. "A rooster," she replied. Her boyfriend came over and looked at the pieces spread over the breakfast table.
"Okay, honey. Why don't we sit back, relax, and put the corn flakes back in the box."
A blonde was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didnt like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart. In order to prove herself, she chose to memorise the capital of every American state.
It wasnt an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.
A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past she would set these men straight!
Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, It isnt true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is.
Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, Ok, how about Arizona?
The blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,A!
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it. She say in her sweetest voice, "Potato."
There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts to clap...
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken
What did the blonde do when she missed the 66 Bus?
She took the 33 bus twice instead
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
She couldn't find the recipe.
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Scroll Down. --->
<----- Scroll Up.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind!!!
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?
Because it said "concentrate."
How Do You Confuse A Dumd Blonde?
Put Her In A Room Shaped Like A Circle And Say Go Sit In The Corner
Okay, so most blondes aren't dumb. (ie not my blonde friend). In fact, the smartest girls in my class are blonde, but still, I
blonde mos! Kitty xo
- Last seen 2 days ago. Member since October 30.
- My mood is , and quote is "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! go meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!".
- I am a 12 year old girl (Australia)
- When I'm not writing, I'm loving cats, dancing ballet (hopefully on pointe!).
- I have 27 comments, 1 poem, 10 stories
My Stories
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The dawn broke, bright colours of the sun streaming through my open window. Fresh air, tinted with the smell of the salty ocean, blew into my bedroom, waking me up. I opened my warm, brown eyes to a sunny, spring day.11000 words, 1 comment, November 14. In Childrens, Family, First person, Friendship, Life, Novel, Personal, Sad, Teen
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It's a like a dark, stormy rain cloud that hovers above you, a shadow of darkness perpetually raining down. It's like a breeze that never stops, covering you with goosebumps and shivers, as though someone is telling you a hor400 words, 4 comments, November 14. In Dark, Depression, Emo, Life, Opinion, Pain, Personal, Sad, Short story
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Through eyes of one up themselves, beauty is something on the outside. It is of the colour of their hair, their eyes, their skin. It is how their face is shaped, their hair is styled, the way their nose tilts up or down.1
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I sit here by myself, with only my carer next to me. My cheese and ham sits unappetizingly in my lap.1600 words, 1 comment, November 13. In Abuse, Bully, Childrens, First person, Life, Sad, Short story, Teen
