Paragonz Shadow• Show stories

Once upon a time, hundreds of years ago...well the early 90's, a baby girl was born. Yeah, yeah, not the most earth shattering event, I know.

But her crying was. Ear shattering, anyway.

Now, somthing-teen years later, I am sitting here, about to give you half a dozen lists to scroll past. Why?

Because I'm bored, and because I feel like making your life a living hell!

I suppose I should introduce myself, and all that jazz.

I'm Jacs (pronounced Jacks). Weaver of words, lover of literature and supporter of sarcasm, my resume contains little more than my address and phone number, seeing as I am in grade 11.

One day, when the world ends and drags my time at school along with it, I will be left to terrorise the real world. If everything goes to my very long, detailed plan then I will be studying medicine, probably after a science or biomedical degree.

But, hey, sometimes life throws you curveballs, so look carefully next time you go to McDonald's, because my straight A's may just count for nothing.

You'll recognise me by my horn and one eye. Kidding. I've got blonde-y brown hair with new foils (yay), blue eyes and have a thin but...slightly vertically challenged built. I will be wearing a mask of disgust and boredom if you meet me at McDonald's, and I may just make a couple of satirical and sarcastic jokes at your expense, seeing as I hate fast food and all.

Normally though, I'm fast to smile and always up for a laugh. That sentence may sound a little pathetic and optimistic...*rereads*

I am not going to list all my stories with detailed summaries: *grumpy-old-man-with-cane voice* stop being lazy and find them yourselves! *puppy dog eyes* But if you want to comment, I'd really appreciate it.

Writing wise, I enjoy angst or sarcastic humour (you've probably guessed). What can I say; sarcasm is the world's compensation for overly perky blondes with unrealistic optimism. I have started two novels and deserted them, but I have a good feeling about my newest, What Really Lies Beyond. *slaps head* Damn. Now I've jinxed it.

I turn the TV on to watch a few different shows...namely: House, Bones, Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters (fine I'll admit it). You will never, ever, ever, see me watching a reality TV show. The name its self is idiotic: what the hell is realistic about a heavily scripted program that represents only the stupid, blonde, stupid beautiful, stupid, and psychologically unbalanced section of the community.

Sorry, probably should have warned you I'm cynical as well.

Books...I like...get ready...mystery/thriller/crime/angst and generally well written genres. Don't throw rotten tomatoes, but I'm not a big fan of fantasy or dark...

Moving on...

I was born in the wrong generation. Just thought I'd get it out there. See, there is one thing I love almost as much as...no, more than any other inanmate thing:

BBC COMEDY

Yes, Blackadder, Black Books, The Vicar of Dibley, Fawlty Towers, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Are You Being Served?, The IT Crowd, the Aussie one Mother and Son, and to some extent Yes Minister, Yes Prime Minister, The Goodies, Keeping Up Appearances, Ripping Yarns, Montey Python and...well...there are so many good ones.

Anybody who knows what I'm talking about: IM me
Anybody who doesn't: stand there while I point and laugh and yell DEPRIVED, DEPRIVED, DEPRIVED .

Music, music, music. Well, I play the violin but I hate classical. Yeah, go figure.

I enjoy rock, pop, whining guys and soulful guitar riffs. Anything but country .

I shall finish with a quote. Not three hundred quotes that will take up three pages. Just two. Six. Ten.

Okay, okay, three.

(lol, I can be a little crazy sometimes)

Okay, I began looking and there are too many ones I love Look up the Sarcasm Society on Google and laugh until you are rolling around on the floor

1. I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

2. It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

And my serious one...
3. All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing
- Sir Francis Bacon

And now, if you have made it to this point, I have one thing left to say.

GO READ MY STORIES!!
LEAVE GOOD COMMENTS!!

And I shall return them .

I think I'm just about done...yes go cry in the corner and turn emo.

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