October Fourth• Show stories




Enjoy some classic Bill Hicks routines, ladies & gentlemen! Forget your Dane Cook. Forget your.. Oh hell, who are the comedians of today that people think are funny? Forget 'em! Bill Hicks is your new master.


"Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition?, perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once? 'Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.'"

"I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, oddly enough. I was in Nashville, Tennessee, and after the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, but I was hungry. And I'm sitting there eating and reading a book. I don't know anybody, I'm alone, so I'm reading a book. The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?', but 'What am I reading for?' Goddangit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a f**king waffle waitress."

"They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is how a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet."

"Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?"

"And I'll tell you something too. That's starting to annoy me about UFOs, the fact that they cross galaxies or universes to visit us, and always end up in places like Fyffe f**king Alabama. Maybe these aren't super-intelligent beings, you know what I mean?"

"I think it's interesting the two drugs that are legal, alcohol and cigarettes, two drugs that do absolutely nothing for you at all... and the drugs that might open your mind up to realize how badly you're being f**ked every day of your life.. Those drugs are against the law. He-heh, coincidence?"

"I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, 'My God! I love everything.' Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country..how are we gonna keep building nuclear weapons, you know what I mean? What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize that we're all one?!"

"'I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God." And I say no, it's not, Dad. 'Well, I believe that it is.' Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth."

"People say to me, 'Bill, quit bringing up Kennedy, man. Let it go. It was a long time ago. Just forget about it.' All right, then don't bring up Jesus to me. I mean, as long as we're talking shelf-life here."

"I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!' Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you f**king morons.'"

"The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options."

"That's why my girlfriend and I broke up: she wanted kids, and I … well, she wanted kids. I had no idea her philosophy was that flawed. She goes, 'Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid? To have this fresh, clean slate which we could fill. A little clean spirit, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas.' Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so f**king altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Okay? Horrible act, childbirth. Nightmare. I would never bring a kid to this f**king planet."

"Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There's another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate."


"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, 'Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever. Because this is just a ride.' And we...kill those people. 'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.' It's just a ride.
"But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok? But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, not work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."


Anti Creative's singing debut! (7/16/09)

http://www.snapvine.com/bp/-MeBJnI2Ed6U9AAwSFsPiA

"I prefer poems to make an effect on being heard, and I don’t think that’s really a case of them being simple because for instance T.S Eliot’s poems make a tremendous effect when you hear them, and when I first heard them they did, and when I was too young to understand very much about them they had an enormous effect on me, and this was an effect quite apart from anything that I’d call, you know, understanding, or being able to explain them, or knowing what was going on. It’s just some sort of charge and charm and series of operations that it works on you, and I think quite complicated poetry, such as T.S Eliot’s, can do this on you immediately" - Andrew Muir


11 Things About Libra

1. Philosophy: Libra sees both sides of everything.

Libra also sees both sides of seeing both sides of everything.

Libra is unhappy about seeing both sides of seeing both sides of everything.

Libra is happy to tell you this.

2. Politics: Libra is diplomatic, well balanced and appreciative.

Libra is indecisive, immovable and uncertain.

Libra has called for a confidential, closed-door meeting between both sides of Libra.

Libra believes we can work it out.

3. Festivals: Libra counts at least 25 fairs and festivals in the Bay Area this weekend.

Libra says there's so much to do, Libra can't decide.

Libra decides not deciding is not a good decision.

Libra decides to attend them all.

4. Personality: Libra is modest and confident.

Libra is vain and tentative.

Libra doesn't care what you think.

Libra is curious what you think about this.

5. Life: Libra is a wise old man.

Libra is an energetic young child.

Libra is a wise young child.

Libra is an energetic old man.

6. Nightlife: Libra wants to get in bed at 9 p.m. and sleep until noon ...

(after someone reads Libra a good bedtime story).

Libra wants to get in bed at 9 a.m. and sleep until midnight ...

(after dancing all night to music about a good bedtime story).

7. Film: Libra really enjoyed "... And Justice for All."

Libra thinks it's an injustice that Al Pacino didn't win an Oscar for his early films.

Libra believes giving him an Oscar for a mediocre later film didn't make up for this.

Libra feels like Tony Montana now.

8. Current Events: Libra wants to flee the United States.

Libra wants to stay and improve things.

Libra lives somewhere between could and should.

Libra lives in San Francisco.

9. Music: Libra thinks Patsy Cline's "Crazy" is just as crazy as Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy."

Libra thinks Heart's "Crazy on You" isn't all that crazy.

Libra thinks it's not even as crazy as "Barracuda."

Libra thinks it doesn't matter 'cause Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" is crazier than all the others combined.

10. Writing: Libra believes everything Libra just wrote here.

Libra doesn't believe a single word of it.

Libra confuses ...

Libra.

11. Astrology: Libra laughs.

Libra snorts.

Libra giggles.

Libra cavorts.






"This, with my brain and muscles, with sweat and constant thinking, made others see my visions coming true. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." - T.E. Lawrence



Anti Creative is an INFP: The INFP is a dreamy, imaginitive, idealist, capable of finding the good in anything or anyone, even something as foul as Newark, New Jersey. INFPs are sometimes dangerous to the well-being of society as a whole, as they are prone to adopting subversive and destructive ideologies like "The world should be fair," "People should treat one another well," and "You know, 'Friends' is a really, really stupid television show."

These irrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.

COMPATIBILITY: INFPs and ISTJs generally exhibit a natural predator/prey relationship, which, though it might appear harsh and cruel from the outside, is all part of the natural cycle of life. In fact, were it not for the predation of the ISTJ, the population of INFPs would soon grow to unsustainable levels, overwhelming the ability of their ecological niche to support them.

Famous idealists include that girl in your sixth-grade homeroom who got the teacher fired for saying that girls aren't good at math; that guy in the cubicle next to yours who got the manager fired for saying that women don't make good employees; and Anais Nin.

As well as a Snake in the Chinese zodiac: Snakes have always been the seducers of human beings. If you know the story of "The White Snake", you will understand what I mean. In reality, Snake people are born charming and popular. Snakes are spotlight magnets, and they will not be ignored. Peer group attention and public recognition are the least of what he expects. Yet Snakes are never noisy or deliberately outspoken, and they have have excellent manners.

Unlike the Snake who seduced Eve in to sin. the astrological Snake, is not a devil, not even a little demon. The Snake is a nice oversexed normal human being. Determined to follow through anything he undertakes to the bitter end, the Snake detests being left in the air. He makes his decisions quickly and firmly.

Most people are secretly or hopelessly in love with Snakes. Gather those frustrated folk you know and most likely, they are probably in love with a Snake. Irresistible as they seem, the Snake never wastes time in idle gossip. He thinks often and deeply. He is an intellectual, a philosophers, a cerebral person. Snake people rely heavily on first impressions, on their own feelings, on their sympathies, rather than on facts, on the advice and opinions on others. He seems to have a kind of sixth sense in this way.


As well as a Human Being: human being
n.
A human.

Anti Creative also loves referring to himself in the third person whilst speaking objectively about boasting his own significance in a douchebaggery manner. He loves it so much more enjoyable so; preferring it over taking long walks on the beach, eating seashells by the sea shore, dining an exquisite five-star meal at the most luxuriously superificial restaurant in all've town, & creating love sonnets to the one who forever holds the fragile strings to his eternally-interwoven heart to create a love.. a love that defies the moon in the sky, a love that is cherished by every beautiful, divine moment of being one, & a love that defies these cheesy-ass lines I hope you didn't think were serious. You sad, frivolously romantic, gullible sucker..



Works I'd Like To Be Remembered By:
The New World
An Albanian Symphony
In Wonder
Coastlines Of My Dreams
My Story
A Night With You
Walking On Stars
CourtedMarriage
An Open Whisper
Fields..
Autumn's Aisle Dream
Pell Mell Skelter
Coffee & Love
Bridges of The Sea
Land Of No Sorrow
Circles Of The Sun
Though I Hide (Just Like You)
I
The Grand Ballroom
5:00 AM



************

"And at night the river flows
it bears pale stars on the holy water
some sink like veils, some show like fish,
the great moon that once was rose
now high like a blazing milk flails"
-- Jack Kerouac


*********

Well THAT prematurely ended! Alllright, folks; step on out! Step on out! Please grab your coat-tails, your weiner babies, check for your intellectually-unstimulating-proverberial castadonian-influenced harp strings, mammaries, your last 3 minutes; & let's all go get ourselves some shake-down-stirred flirpy-dwerp megaphone martinis! Now for the little underage folks, you have yourself a faaaaanntttaaasstic time!


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  • Series Of Thoughts
    Like the live-end'd infant on its knees; says "No, don't, no, don't take me away."--To the carlsburg musuems where lighttricks hung up on their own jealousy-primetime infatuation begs circumferance'd details; trickly-boundward spirals a mind's all-night trails wandering before focus-primitive octane'd silhouettes, &
    February 7, 400 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
  • A private journal entry
    February 6, 5,000 words. Me only.
  • Confess.
    I smoke 2 packs of Camel cigarettes a day because weed puts my mind into a terrible place. Weed doesn't ease the stress. Doesn't go well with my paranoia. Weed doesn't make me feel peaceful with the earth, as many people say. Weed doesn't help to me find my inner self. Of what I'd seen, & where I've gone: Wee
    February 5, In My own personal thoughts.  600 words. → 4 comments, Add one?

Guest Book

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  • Azaradelle : Bill HICKS!!! on February 4
    ... is God!
  • LilMsHyper17 on January 27
    I wanted to poke someone. So,
    *pokes*
    there.
    Oh, and have a cupcake.
    I wish they had an emote for cupcakes.

    Julia.
  • Azaradelle : POEM! on January 20
    I will do it tonight.
    I PROMISE!

    ... unless i pass out... from sleepiness.
    EEeeeeeE!
    xo
    <3
  • Animus Argentis : I listened to your snapvine there.... on January 11
    Interesting. Towards 4:40, you begin to sound like a dehydrated hyena.

    <3

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