Novaren• Show stories

The story of my life...(I would like to make fun of it but due to complications and the fact I want to live I'll try to make it a normal bio instead.) That said those said complications who read this can now turn off your computers and leave and be rest assured you are not the one I am talking about here...I mean it's my Bio^^




If anything my life is complicatedly screwed.

For one thing my childhood is based upon the cruel fate of living Man's dream. A dream granted to me early through the years that now I realize how irritatingly messed up the dream really is.

In television this dream is shown as a paradise that or a comical, laughter of Shangri-La that no man is crazy to let go off. In reality Gentlemen and over pumped testosteroned teenagers this ideal is a lie. For I am living that dream and not liking it.

And that dream is to be constantly surrounded by women...wait let me rephrase that I am surrounded by, sadistic, cruel, manipulative, self absorbed, narcissistic, beings that get kicks out of using other people to do their bidding.

But a lot of people already know that from my past Bio so I will now say the other truths.

Number one: I am cheap beyond all reason. I'm so cheap that I irritate the Heck out of the women in my life just to get myself 2 extra slices of pizza (which I can't really say how...the only thing I can say you have to be pretty immature to do it). That or just by plainly stating that the girl is absurdly fat and that by eating the pizza I help them to cut calories. But the normal reaction would be to look at themselves on a mirror and say "Hey I'm not Fat!" so I pretty much go back to plan A and be very immature.

Also note this tactic can be used even with diet soda

Number two: I am immature. So much so that after making so many comments of my theories about the woman’s psyche...I can no longer feel my rib cage. When asked about finding the perfect girl I merely stated that as long as I can use her tummy as a substitute pillow or chair is the perfect girl for me...to rest upon.

Number three: I make absurdly annoying nicknames to all my...uhm...friends....like poochy and kitty and pat their head constantly fully knowing that doing so irritates them so and make for a bad hair day.

Number four: Finally my main objective is the same as their goal which is to see them as equally miserable as I am.

PS: To do attempt to do anything that are said here means that you are already forfeiting your own life and forever stay a virgin for the rest of your days^^ Why I survived...the secret is...lots of dumb luck. Also there's a huge chance I am over reacting and that I am really a nice guy and just made this bio for those who I know personally would be miffed if they ever saw this^^ Plus who reads the bios anyway^^

On another note I am one of only 10% of the nursing population in the world who is male. Yes...I am a male nurse. And yes...I feel nothing for people who cosplay as nurses.

The end

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Now on an unrelated matter I will now impart some knowledge I have learned in sword fighting.

Even in the old days of war when guns did not exist when it comes to fighting with a sword always remember one thing...all the skills and techniques you have practiced, honed and mastered, are completely useless.

Sucks I know...good thing I don't apply this knowledge when I write..then again that's probably why I stay clear from writing realistic, non-fantasy battles^^

If anything for those writers who also has swordsmanship as their past time the only wisdom I can impart you if for some sad reason you have to you use your sword in a battle that consist 3 or more enemies I suggest you just use the basics because flashy techniques don't count for squat except in 1on1 duels. Also remember (well depending on the type of sword) avoid thrusting when going for the kill since even if you do get a clean shot, there might not be enough time for you to pull out your sword to dodge another incoming attack.

Also it is better to dodge an attack than to block it with your sword, not only will you waste time and energy by blocking, it also damages your weapon...then again it depends on the type of sword fighting one is trained in I guess^^

Now why did I go and babble something as weird as this?

Because I am random^^

And I don't give a damn how unrealistic sword fighting is in movies and such as long as they look cool. Since more often than not real duels are boring to watch.

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~These chains are what bind me to reality. Break them and I shall be lost. Remove them I will cease to exist. That's why in the end these chains are what sets me free~