KeasbeyMornings• Show stories

Hey, I'm Max. I'm 16. I live in South Florida. I play baseball, volleyball, basketball, and golf often. I write music and play the saxophone, both extremely well. I've had my essays published before. What I like about my writing is how I can be as exquisite or as blase as I want, depending on the mood of the setting. I normally avoid writing poems, but I can crank out a good one if desired. I went to Barack Obama's inauguration on January 20th, 2009. It was absolutely incredible.

Here is a list of things that will earn my seal of disapproval. If you don't like it, sue me.

1. If you're on a website dedicated to writing stories in your native language, and you can't even write your native language properly, you don't deserve the oxygen you breathe.
2. Vampires suck copious amounts of cock. If you're planning on writing a story about vampires, sit back and ask yourself how many people have used that idea before. Then immediately jump off of a bridge or cliff before you can spread your stupid idea to the internet. Speaking of which, Twilight is an abomination of literature. If you're a fan of that wretched series (and yes, I read it just so I could legitimately argue against its insane fanatics), you don't have the right to talk to me.
3. More than likely, your taste in music resembles a rhinocerous shit. If your iTunes list includes aural holocausts such as Panic! At The Disco, Simple Plan, The Jonas Brothers, or even U2, you can feel free to exit through the door.
4. Do you have stupid opinions? Are you a pro-life feminist? Do you believe that sex should be banned and illegal until marriage? I'm all for the spread of free speech, but not when your speech is stupid. Shut the hell up.
5. Religion pisses me off. Honestly. I have nothing wrong with people practicing their religion in their own time, but bringing it into my time is a useless waste. Don't go around trying to prove the existence of your "God". You can't. There's a reason that religions are also known as "faiths". You have to put faith into them in order to follow them. If there was one proven God, there would be no point to all the thousands of religions and religious sects. Dumbasses.
6. I like offending people. A lot. It makes me laugh to destroy something pure and innocent. Can you not deal with that? Too bad, so sad. Get off of my page.

QUOTES

"Religion is the opium of the people." -Karl Marx

"Christianity without tears - that's what soma is." -Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

"Lawd! It's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind." -Samuel Norton, The Shawshank Redemption

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost

"He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten." -V, V for Vendetta

"There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad." -George Orwell, 1984

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." -Thomas Jefferson

"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. We don't need Him. Fuck damnation, man, fuck redemption! If we are God's unwanted children, so be it!" -Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
"That's some catch, that catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

"...Are you absolutely sure you never saw any of these official documents before?"
"I would have signed them if I had."
"With whose name?" asked the second C.I.D. man cunningly.
"Your's or Washington Irving's?"
"With my own name," Major Major told him. "I don't even know Washington Irving's name."

"There were many officers' clubs that Yossarian had not helped build, but he was proudest of the one on Pianosa. It was a sturdy and complex monument to his powers of determination. Yossarian never went there to help until it was finished; then he went there often, so please was he with the large, fine, rambling shingled building. It was truly a splendid structure, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his."