Jared Head• Show stories

I eat In-N-Out 3x3's with the greatest of ease. My stories should be rated "A" for Awesome. I once lifted a car into the air using my foot. My fastest mile is faster than you can dream. I once ate some buckshot and blew out a door simply by sneezing. I once sank a battleship by placing a red marker over it. I can outrun a Ferrari while on my bicycle. I'm the only person in the entire world who can armpit-fart with such proficiency that even God is impressed. I am a renowned philanthropist, and the only one who has won medals for sex.

Actually, I'm really some 19 year old idiot living in the suburbs of Los Angeles trying to become a published author, but I really can eat In-N-Out 3x3's with the greatest of ease.

I idolize the likes of Kubrick, Hitchcock and Brooks. I'm influenced by the greats who are John Steinbeck, Sesshu Foster, Joesph Heller, Victor Villasenor and heavily by Douglas Adams, Hunter S. Thompson and Robert A. Heinlein. I draw inspiration from the sounds of U2, Boards of Canada, Amon Tobin, Dick Dale & his Del Tones and Godspeed You! Black Emperor.

I'm a philosopher. I'm a photographer. I'm a video editor. I'm a cyclist. I'm an improv performer. I'm a IRL fanatic, and one of 100 people in the US who stay up and watch every Formula 1 race and treat it like a religion.

I'm the original triple threat who sucks at math.

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(>"<)
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This is Mr. Bunny. Please paste him on your page in order to help
him with his mission to DOMINATE the world.

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Influences (writers and music)

Robert Heinlein - "Starship Troopers", "For Us, The Living", "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" and "Stranger in a Strange Land"

John Steinbeck - "Of Mice and Men", "East of Eden", "Tortilla Flat" and "Travels with Charley"

Allan Paton - "Cry, The Beloved Country"

Joseph Heller - "Catch 22"

Gustav Holst - "Mars" and "Jupiter"...and yes, even the versions by Isao Tomita, can't forget him...

Boards of Canada - "Dayvan Cowboy", "Sixty-Ten", "1969", "Slow This Bird Down" and "Left Side Drive"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - "Symphony No. 25 in G Minor", "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik", "Requiem"

Explosions in the Sky - "Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean" and "The Birth and Death of the Day"

Godspeed You! Black Emperor - "Terrible Canyons of Static", "Gathering Storm", "Moya"

...and that "Chicken Noodle Soup" rap song...because even I, a white person, can dance to it...and dancing matters in the world of writing...

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Last Updated: July 3rd, 2008 @ 3:33 p.m. PST

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