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Hi!  My name is Megan!  I really enjoy using exclamation points!  

Here are the top ten things I've learned about writing in the past two years:  

1. If you want to be a good writer, you can't wait for the mood to strike.  You have to do it every day, regardless of how you feel, how busy you are, how tired you are, how uninspired you are, etc.  

1a.  Seriously.  Even if it's just a paragraph.  You have to get the words out of you.  

2.  Inspiration is a gift from .  Don't squander it.  Don't wait on it.  Don't dismiss it as silly.  If YOU are excited about what you're writing, OTHER people will be excited about your writing.  

3.  There is no "one right way" to write a creative story.  Ever.  And if anyone says otherwise, that is a sign that they don't know what they're talking about.  

4.  If your concept is good enough, you can get away with breaking all the rules.  

5.  In fact, fuck rules.  If your concept is good enough, you can turn the "rules" of English into "suggestions".

6.  Still, a decent grasp of grammar and spelling is necessary for a writer.  In order to break the common, accepted standards of English, you have to know what they are and how they are used.  

7.  If someone tells you that your writing is too commercial without any further feedback, ignore them.  One person's "commercial" writing is another person's favorite, life-changing book.  

7a.  Don't put artificial boundaries on writing.

8.  Accept criticism, no matter how cruelly spoken, with grace and dignity.  Even if mentally you are shouting, "Fuck you, you scornful person!" the criticism usually has a grain of truth in it.  Even the harshest review can be gleaned for useful observations, so as long as they explain how they came to their conclusions.    

9.  Be prepared for rejection.  Magazines have far too few pages and far too many submissions.  Each rejection letter is just an opportunity to improve your story.  

10.  Never give up.  Ever.  Even in the face of hatred and despair, keep trying.  

10a.  You can do it.  

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If you would like to I.M. me, my AOL Instant Messenger screen name is: Delfishie

If you would like to be facebook friends with me, search for "Megan Auffart".  I'm currently obsessed with Mafia Wars, so I'm on there frequently.  

If you would like to see my crappy free website, the address is: http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/abulia

If you would like to make me angry, make a racist joke in front of me and then look surprised when I say something.  

If you would like to make me happy, feed me seaweed salad, palak paneer, fresh picked tomatoes, or candy cane ice cream (but definitely none of those mixed together).

If you would like to make the world a better place, the most important step you can take is educating yourself.  

If you would like to be a successful person, you must not be afraid to work 100 hours a week.

If you would like to be a worthy person, you must not be afraid to go against the expectations and trappings of society.  

If you would like to be free, you should remember that the most effective traps are the ones we make for ourselves.

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My Favorite Things
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Favorite Writers:  David Wong, Mark Z. Danielewski, Charlaine Harris, Stephanie Meyer, Tamora Pierce, Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Francesca Lia Block, Holly Black, Mary Roach, Max Brooks, e.e. cummings, T.S. Elliot, Janet Evanovich, etc.

Favorite Movies:  Scott Pilgrim, Paranormal Activity, Big Trouble in Little China, The Boondock Saints, Fifth Element, Hellraiser, Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, Shaolin Soccer, Hum Dil De Chupke Sanam, Run Lola Run, Spirited Away, Chori Chori Chupke Chupke, History of the World (part 1), etc.

Favorite Music:  Mindless Self Indulgence, Girl Talk, Dresden Dolls, Rasputina, Cake Bake Betty, Tori Amos, Aphex Twin, Portishead, Sage Francis, Radiohead (except Pablo Honey), Danny Elfman, NIN, like every  third  Marilyn Manson song, like every fifth Lady Gaga song, modern Bollywood songs, the "Queen of the Night" aria by Mozart, every Freezepop song ever made (*sings* "I'm a science genius girl!"), etc.

Favorite Games: Plants vs. Zombies, Left 4 Dead II, The Sims II (screw The Sims III, yo), Grand Theft Auto, Katamari Damacy, DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION, Karaoke Revolution, Silent Hill, Harvest Moon, Civilization IV, American McGee's Alice, Doom, etc.

Favorite Poems: Sailing to Byzantium, Kubla Khan, The Dolls, Ozymandias, Something Turned Over (for A. Payne),  Leadbelly vs. Lomax at the Modern Language Association, The Hollow Men, what if a much of a which of a wind, The Laboratory, HOWL, This is not a drug poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, i sing of Olaf, The Raven, etc.


...

Somewhere I have never travelled; gladly beyond
Your eyes have their silence

...

But do I dare to eat a peach?

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